Jul 10
Staring at people I concider attractive is the same as watching an asmr slime video and I will not elaborate further
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Staring at people I concider attractive is the same as watching an asmr slime video and I will not elaborate further
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ā¢ No registration required ā¢ HD streaming
Sometimes I see something beautiful and for a moment I wish we could show each other a glimpse of the world we seem to be the only ones to see. I think the world would be much more peaceful if we could all see beauty both from and despite the horror that seems so ever present otherwise.
I think we'd be kinder to each other.
ace vent, looking for advice
I feel so disconnected from my body, I feel like the expected way to learn about how pleasure works for your body is just you fuck or masturbate untill you figure it out, but I don't want any of that, this blog is fiction for me, I want to understand how my body works but I don't know how. I don't feel anything in my emotions when you're supposed to, I enjoy reading these posts but I don't really feel anything, and it makes me feel so isolated, I want to feel something, or maybe I just want to understand more, idk. I don't know how my body works, I don't know what I'm supposed to feel, I don't understand any of this. I just want to know how pleasure is supposed to work. Fuck man I'm so confused
I'm trying to distract with watching old music videos of musicians I enjoy because I can't sleep and look what fucking shows up. I can't seem to catch a fucking break of not thinking about him:
Touched By The Hand Of God
jump the fuck out of me I don't fucking care but I can't read mlm enha fanfics if its not jaywon or heejake OR sunki. It's just so weird to me and idk why ughhhhh just wanted to say my thoughts. š§āāļø
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ā¢ No registration required ā¢ HD streaming
Ace thirsting is so weird man cos while everyone is talking about āuntil the bed breaksā im here just committing every detail of their face to memory
every curve of their features, the exact colour of their eyes, the way their lips pull when talking or smiling, every line etched into their face, every freckle, every mark, the cadence of their voice, the little things they enjoy, every scar until their face haunts me in my dreams and every waking moment
Lowkey wanna be good at sex but in the same way I want to be good at building cabins and fishing and calculus and stuff. Like no I will never need this irl but yk. itās good to be prepared
I need to put my brain on a leash
I do enjoy being alone, but I donāt fancy being lonely.
Within my years of being by myself, I find myself fantasizing about having a partner. Someone to share my highs and lows with, someone who knows that my silences come in so many different flavors. Someone I can share life with and in turn they share their life with me.
But when I pull myself away from my loneliness and my libido, I tell myself - a connection like thatā¦ it might be something more than platonic.
I then find myself cringing and curling away from my thoughts. It's not that I donāt like romance - I love it, actually; I love seeing healthy love, I love writing about love, I cheer for my friends when they feel that wonderful euphoric sensation of finding love.
But, the idea of me being in a romantic situation, itsā¦ Well, it causes my .exe to stop working.
Like I said, the idea of romance is something that is fantastical and wonderful to me, but when I add myself to the equationā¦ eh, it just doesnāt work for me. It's like it leaves a terrible taste in my mind-mouth.
I sometimes get so frustrated with myself because of this. I have all these thoughts; loving, romantic, passionate and quite lustful, but yet I cannot act them outā¦ Iām the problem, me, I just cannot fathom myself in these scenarios.
Iām too fat.
Iām too old.
Really, Iāll just fuck that line up.
Oh good god, how embarrassing.
I could never be like that.
It's been too long.
Iām a fucking animal.
Dear god above, Iām so cringe.
Donāt look.
Sorry.
All these thoughts swirl in my head when I try to force it, fake it till I make it, when I try to fix myself.
It was around my young adulthood that I had a feeling that I might be ace - at least under its umbrella. But now looking back at my love lifeā¦ well, lack of one, I can clearly see that flag of grey, white, purple and black.Ā
Now, just this might be a cog for me, I havenāt given upā¦ at least not yet. Maybe there is a someone out there who is just for me - I dunno.
If I am very lucky enough in this lifetime, I would need a partner that understands this part of me - even though it's kinda warped and broken. I think if it someone I can truly trust I can get over my issues and focus on them, then I can b e passionate, romantic, loving and naughty all for them. I think being able to focus on them helps distract me from those hurty thoughts.
So, huh, yah, maybe Iām, like, DemiPanā¦ odd thoughts about myself as I try to fix what I can.