#SaberGate

            You don’t have to choose between fire and ice (insp)

I teach leadership on top of teaching philosophy now, and I had the misfortune of quarrelling with someone the other day who had some less than nice things to say about my apparent “lack” of growth/activity in a certain area of my life. This person stated to me that they only wished to surround themselves with people who “actively practise and learn” and who are “successful and positive” with it. This was something that apparently determined my worth as to whether or not I am worthy of continuing friendship.

Naturally, I was taken aback by such a statement. I was astounded by how incorrect their observations were about me, and at the moment I cursed my unwillingness to share in the past. If I had been more open and more willing to talk, then this person wouldn’t have judged me so harshly! They would see that I am not lazy or whatever else negative they accused me of.

But later, going over my lesson plans with the high of endorphins slowly decreasing from the emotional aftermath of confrontation, and then stepping into a classroom of young children whom I was going to soon begin to teach leadership to, I began to realise that I had the wrong reaction. I should not have worried about what this person thinks of my personal growth or if my skills or lack thereof are to their standards. In fact, their opinion on my personal growth doesn’t matter. At all. Because personal growth is just that- personal.

I began to realise this the moment I was teaching the first lesson. Looking around at my students as they began the tasks, I noticed that each and every one of them responded in their own way. Some were getting the hang of it quickly. Others were hesitant, shy. And when they felt hesitant at not working at the same pace as the other students or not having the same bursting of ideas or thoughts as the others, they began to judge themselves negatively.

And that wouldn’t do. Because again, personal growth is just that- personal. It doesn’t matter what skill it is, if it is a hobby or a lifestyle, growth is a personal thing. And it is okay- more than okay- to grow at your own pace in the ways you naturally grow. There are no exclusive clubs in personal growth.

I then made it my mission to give my students that message. Children take what behaviours they learn into adulthood and if there is one thing I want to encourage, it is that growing at your own pace is okay. No one can judge you for how you grow or in what direction. Work hard when you can, rest when you need. But no one has the right to judge how hard you work except you. No one can tell you how to be or what to do with what you love except you. Because the moment we judge, we discourage, and the moment we discourage, we begin to snuff out a flame that should be burning brightly.