Good Vibes ☯

I went in to the salon with hair long enough to be tucked into jean pockets (barely but just like a sophomore boy in high school, the could tip went in) and left with hair that is too short to even remotely go into a ponytail. I told me hairdresser that I’ve been going to for 12 years that I was okay with going a little shorter than usual because I’d like to make a big donation. My usual is around armpits and I was talking MAYBE collarbones. Well he took that to mean I wanted it to be a friggin bob. I left the salon in shock, immediately called my best friend, who calmed me down until I saw a soccer mom with the same haircut and almost cried again. Well since then I have gotten nothing but rave reviews, everyone loves my short hair. I’m not sure I love my short hair, I’m still trying to figure out what to do with it and if I cans till get away with only washing it every 4-5 days. 

On Monday I had to write a joint paper about the origins of ISIS and its impact on presidential decision making, specifically national security policy (and let me tell ya I needed a joint to write it). My partner was a senior so I figured he’d know his shit. WRONG. He didn’t send me his part (which I needed to write mine) until 11pm and it was not coherent English. Turns out, he’s in a frat and wrote it in the middle of a power hour with the new pledges. I had to entirely re-write his part and then write my part in less than 12 hours. If that wasn’t bad enough, the next morning in class I had to explain to him that he’s a horrible writer and I did out entire paper and OUR PROFESSOR HEARD ME SAY IT. Our professor is the same guy that calls students pussies and little shits so he didn’t care that I wrote the entire thing, he just thought I was brutal for telling the kid he’s dumb as shit (I didn’t actually call him that but it came close).

On Wednesday all of my roommates went out to dinner with their boyfriends so I made ricecakes with peanut butter and honey for dinner and watches three episodes of The Newsroom. They got back and one of them offered to set me up with his shy-but-really-nice friend. Accidentally cutting 90% of your hair off his insanely uncomfortable but I think this may have been even more uncomfy. I took that as a hint and decided to get on tinder and I realized that an uncomfortable situation is made so much worse by the fact that I am so awkward. It’s really hard to be twenty and single when all of your roommates are in basically perfect relationships with great guys that are honestly some of your best friends because you’re so happy for them but at the same time your like FUCK I’M GOING TO DIE ALONE. But back to tinder, I’m so awkward a guy literally messaged me “how’s your day been” and I had to think about my answer for like half an hour. I’m incapable of talking over the phone. Like texting, dming, whatever I just can not do it. Talk to me to my face and I’m good but trying to not seem awkward when I am PAINFULLY awkward over text is nearly impossible and involves a crap ton of emojis apparently.