♡ @s-e-a-s-l-u-g - Tumblr Blog

Hey, my name is Sea and this is just our personal blog to post about whatever/our art

Not going to argue about our existence with anyone, if you fakeclaim or send hate you'll be blocked.

#sea rambles ☆#if you need anything tagged just lmk!

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hi and welcome to I am having. one of the worst times of my life and I feel absolutely alone.

#tw vent #vent #of course my abusers are breaking no contact and trying to reconnect with me and apologizing and IM LETTING THEM because im just so tired of #being angry and alone #and i dont know what else to do #because i want to believe they've changed #i really do #but they hurt me so bad #and all those memories are coming back #and I'm having panic attacks and ptsd flashbacks #and i cant get drunk or high because i have nothing #so im raw dogging the mental illness #not to mention relapsing into all of my self destructive behaviors #and no one seems to notice?? or care? idk #i know people care logically #but i feel so fucking alone #and i just cant take it anymore

Tw vent

Headsup don't overdose on a medication you like because they will take you off of it :(

#tw overdose #tw suicide #seroquel my beloved #ill miss u

Tw vent

I'm just. So angry. I'm angry at myself for failing my suicide attempt, I'm angry that I gained weight, I'm angry that the psych ward made me worse and I just want to scream and break things and rip myself to shreds. I have an appointment with my med management tomorrow and I have to try to convince her I need stronger meds and I already know she's not going to want to do that and I'm going to cry because I'm so frustrated.

#tw vent #tw suicide #tw anger #tw ed

hahaha I feel not good

#tw vent #tw suicide #should they have let me go?#probably not #I feel so lonely and empty #not to mention the guilt of worrying everyone and being even more of a burden #i just want to scream and cry #next time I try something I'm just going to keep it to myself.

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The pysch ward made me worse ♡

#they held me there for an overdose #and this woman would NOT stop commenting on how I gained wait #she literally wouldn't #she saw me there back in november #and was like “you used to be slim” “howd you gain so much weight?” LIKE LADY I STARTED EATING AGAIN THATS HOW SHUT UP #she was driving me insane #she's nice though #i know she meant it in a kind way #but all i heard was fat fat fat fat fat #tw vent #tw eating issues #tw eating disorder #tw ed #tw suicide #tw psych ward

schizospecblog

A thing about schizospec people is disorganized thoughts and speech. For example I can’t normally think straight, it’s hard to describe but it’s like my mind is underwater and you know you can’t see straight underwater and everything is blurred? My mind gets like that. My speech dosent coordinate with what I’m thinking either and I stutter, my words get mixed together, sentences only get partially said, it’s a mess. Now I’m not saying that every schizospec persons thinking and speech are like that because each one of us have a different experience. It’s hard for us so please be patient when we get like this. It is frustrating and we are trying our best.

schizophrenicmushroom

“You’re so normal you can’t have psychosis” babe I don’t think I’m human.

schizoetic

Just because something you experience in psychosis isn't happening in reality, it doesn't mean it wasn't real to you. The trauma you get from those experiences is real.

schizodiaries

The thing about psychosis, in particular the delusions, is that in the moment, the beliefs are our reality. A delusional person doesn’t just believe they’re the reincarnation of Christ. To them in that moment, they are the reincarnation of Christ. They don’t just believe the cops are after them, the cops are after them. They don’t just believe their family members have been replaced by aliens, their family has been replaced by aliens.

This is one of the reasons psychosis can be so traumatizing. We don’t just believe in bizarre and unusual things, we’re actively experiencing them. We’re prone to such outrageous and scary beliefs that are out of our control, and to us, they’re as real as the air we breathe. Keep this in mind when considering the mental state of someone in psychosis.

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only-knives

it's never too late to start brushing your teeth again. i basically never brushed my teeth for a whole 10 years. a decade. A DECADE. i still struggle to brush my teeth once a week, but it all started with brushing my teeth once every few months. so i mean it when i say brushing your teeth once a week, a month, a year, or even a decade, is better than nothing.

and still, nothing is not shameful. it is not immoral to struggle with self care. and it is also not pointless to keep trying. anything you can do, even if its wiping plaque off with a towel, is enough. it is good to take care of yourself however you can, even if it's just trying to muster the will to. reading this post is good, too.

i believe in you and i am proud of you, even in the smallest of steps. it's okay. you can give yourself grace.

Don't know what I mean.

#tw vent #tw vent art #tw blood #tw gore #just in case #I am not doing so great #but I'm okay #not dead I mean #anyways drawing this while listening to this song helped me feel better #my art

Yeah I'm not. Doing great.

#my art #vent #tw vent #vent art #sea rambles ☆

Vent

I just want to be so mentally unwell, I want to scream and break things, I want to claw at my skin until it bleeds, I want to absolutely lose my shit. I feel so fucking unhinged. Im.so angry. I have medication, I have therapy, why do I still feel so fucking crazy why do I still feel like I'm screaming and no one can hear me no matter how loud I yell and its exhausting and I'm exhausted and I'm so so so tired of myself and my life and everything I just want it to go away I just need it to go away.

#vent #tw vent

crashed so hard from my manic episode and now I just feel like shit.

#i just want to make everything stop #everything's too much #tw vent #vent #i know its 2 am and the suicidal thoughts are stupid and dumb and not true and i shouldnt do anything #i just feel like im teetering on the edge #like i could fall over the side any second #and it just #im good #im great #and fine #ignore me #tw suicide #tw suicidal ideation

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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still feel the sting.

#my art #tw vent #tw vent art #vent art #I am.#feeling things tonight.

I have barely slept in 3 days, I'm in so much pain everywhere and I'm out of most of my medications!! Yay! I'm so tired that I don't really care ♡

#sea rambles ☆#my brain wont let me slEEP #Only draw #thats it #nothing else

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