The Rychilla Cases

I often get asks about the relationship between servants and those they serve and how the relationship develops over time or what's appropriate between servant and employer at any given time. Many period dramas do get this right but a lot don't and send mixed signals to the audience about the true nature of the relationship between servant and employer.

There's a Strict Hierarchy

This is one inescapable concept that often gets forgotten in a lot of modern media. The relationship between servant and employer is a hierarchal one, the employer and servant are not on the same level socially.

Servants will always address their employer by their title or by sir/ma'am - at least in public and if there is any deviation of the rule, it's in private and only at the invitation of the employer themselves. Employers in turn would use the appropriate title for the servant in question (I outline these here). This done very well in Downton Abbey, especially when Tom marries into the family and they struggle with calling him 'Tom' rather than Branson.

A servant would never greet their employer informally or answer back. This is inaccurately portrayed in the exchange between Mrs Russell and Turner in The Gilded Age.

Servants would also not address their employer directly without being addressed first. This is very single meeting.

Servants would not walk in step with their employer or sit in their presence. They would walk two or three steps behind at all times and only sit when invited. They would not touch their employer without leave either. This is done well in Queen Charlotte, with Brimsley.

A servant would have to obey orders from another member of their employer's family or their guest but only within reason. This is shown in The Gilded Age the lady's maid Adelheid is borrowed by Mrs Russell from her daughter for a time when she fires her own maid.

Above and Beyond

Some employers might expect more from their servants that aren't exactly in the job description. It was understood in service that sometimes you would be asked to tackle things not in one's paygrade. In Queen Charlotte, Lady Danbury's maid Coral helps her lady lie about the death of Lord Danbury to allow her time to gather herself and appear more upset. For example:

A lady's maid might act as messenger between a pair of lovers.

A footman might lie to the mistress about the whereabouts of his master (with the master's approval of course)

A butler might procure some less than legal party favours for a bash his lord and lady are throwing.

A guardsman might aid their charge in escaping the house/palace for a night of fun.

No matter what, a servant is expected to go above and beyond without complaint. The response to "jump" should nearly always be "how high". However, if there is a strange or harmful request, a servant had recourse to ask a higher ranking servant or employer whether or not they should agree to the request.

That being said, servants are people at the end of the day and might have scruples. Often, servants were far more conservative than their employers but more often that not, they would swallow their morals to do the job that is needed. This is accurately portrayed in Downton Abbey when Mrs Bird complains about Mrs Crawley asking her to wait on Ethel, a former prostitute, leading to Mrs Crawley to dismiss her.

Bonding

Because some servants work closely with an employer, relationships often evolve between employer and servant. There must be a certain level of trust between servant and employer or else the house would fall apart. Bonds do form but these bonds don't interrupt the hierarchy or the professional relationship - at least in public. For example:

A lady's maid or a valet might act as confidant to their mistress/master, keeping their secrets. This is seen in Downton Abbey where Anna and Bates act as confidants with Lady Mary and Lord Grantham respectively.

A kitchen maid may slip the children of the house an odd treat in defiance of their parents or governess.

The staff might chip in for a gift for a beloved employer on an anniversary or special occasion.

The same is said for employers, who would also show favour by gift giving or promotion.

A loyal servant might be left some money on the death of their master/mistress.

A retiring lady's maid might be granted a gift from her mistress.

Employers might listen to the advice of their servants or servants may approach employers in times of difficulty. An employer might see a servant's child educated well or might pay a doctors bill, but these are kindnesses. Because there is a certain level of proximity, certain familiarities can grow but it is unlikely that either will consider it 'friendship' exactly.

Boundaries

However, there are boundaries between servant and employer. Even in cases of familiarity and good will, a servant and employer would not meddle in each other's affairs. For example:

A servant might dislike an employer's guest but would not refuse to serve or wait on them. This is depicted inaccurately in Downton Abbey's Christmas special, where the butler Stowel refuses to serve former chauffeur Tom Branson.

An employer in some eras could not deny a servant the right to get married.

A servant may be expected to be available at any given time and come running at the sound of the bell. But if a servant is on a day off or ill, an employer can't punish them for not being available when knowing beforehand they wouldn't be.

A good servant knows when they are needed and when to disappear. They should not linger if it is clear they shouldn't be here.

A servant might see their employer engaging in harmful or immoral behaviours but would not have the right to criticise or inform anybody.

A servant might be tasked with dealing with their employer in a state of undress (but this never crossed gender, a valet or a butler would handle a naked male employer and only a female servant would deal with a lady's intimates) and while seeing them in this state, would not look or make a big deal over it.

The professional boundary should not be breached on either side of the divide. A servant wouldn't approach an employer with personal issues nor would an employer welcome the servant's unauthorised counsel.

The Downsides

Forest (No. 349)

✧ Broken ribs suck. You don’t just “walk it off.” Breathing hurts. Laughing hurts. Existing hurts. Characters with rib injuries won’t be doing heroic sprints.

✧ Concussions aren’t instant naps. Dazed vision, nausea, dizziness, maybe even personality changes, but they’re not going to collapse neatly like in the movies.

✧ Blood loss is sneaky. It’s not just about dramatic pools of blood. It’s dizziness, confusion, and the body getting cold as circulation tanks.

✧ Adrenaline lies. Someone can take a serious injury and not feel it until the fight’s over. That “I didn’t realize I was bleeding until later” trope? Very real.

✧ Twisted ankles are brutal. One bad step and suddenly running is off the table. Even walking hurts like hell. Perfect way to ground a chase scene.

✧ Burns linger. Even small burns hurt more than most people expect. Blisters, infection risk, constant pain, it’s not just a cool scar later.

✧ Dislocated shoulders = useless arm. Characters can’t keep swinging a sword or firing a gun. They’re basically fighting one-armed until it’s fixed.

✧ Shock is a thing. Pale skin, trembling, rapid heartbeat, and eventually disorientation. A character might not even realize how bad their wound is.

✧ Stitches aren’t magic. Getting sewn up is painful and recovery takes time. They’re not instantly battle-ready after a needle and thread.

For the writers struggling to rid themselves of the classic ‘said’. Some are repeated in different categories since they fit multiple ones (but those are counted once so it adds up to 100 new words). 

1. Neutral Tags 

Straightforward and unobtrusive dialogue tags: 

Added, Replied, Stated, Remarked, Responded, Observed, Acknowledged, Commented, Noted, Voiced, Expressed, Shared, Answered, Mentioned, Declared.

2. Questioning Tags 

Curious, interrogative dialogue tags:

Asked, Queried, Wondered, Probed, Inquired, Requested, Pondered, Demanded, Challenged, Interjected, Investigated, Countered, Snapped, Pleaded, Insisted.

3. Emotive Tags 

Emotional dialogue tags:

Exclaimed, Shouted, Sobbed, Whispered, Cried, Hissed, Gasped, Laughed, Screamed, Stammered, Wailed, Murmured, Snarled, Choked, Barked.

4. Descriptive Tags 

Insightful, tonal dialogue tags: 

Muttered, Mumbled, Yelled, Uttered, Roared, Bellowed, Drawled, Spoke, Shrieked, Boomed, Snapped, Groaned, Rasped, Purred, Croaked.

5. Action-Oriented Tags 

Movement-based dialogue tags: 

Announced, Admitted, Interrupted, Joked, Suggested, Offered, Explained, Repeated, Advised, Warned, Agreed, Confirmed, Ordered, Reassured, Stated.

6. Conflict Tags 

Argumentative, defiant dialogue tags:

Argued, Snapped, Retorted, Rebuked, Disputed, Objected, Contested, Barked, Protested, Countered, Growled, Scoffed, Sneered, Challenged, Huffed.

7. Agreement Tags 

Understanding, compliant dialogue tags: 

Agreed, Assented, Nodded, Confirmed, Replied, Conceded, Acknowledged, Accepted, Affirmed, Yielded, Supported, Echoed, Consented, Promised, Concurred.

8. Disagreement Tags 

Resistant, defiant dialogue tags: 

Denied, Disagreed, Refused, Argued, Contradicted, Insisted, Protested, Objected, Rejected, Declined, Countered, Challenged, Snubbed, Dismissed, Rebuked.

9. Confused Tags 

Hesitant, uncertain dialogue tags:

Stammered, Hesitated, Fumbled, Babbled, Mumbled, Faltered, Stumbled, Wondered, Pondered, Stuttered, Blurted, Doubted, Confessed, Vacillated.

10. Surprise Tags

Shock-inducing dialogue tags:

Gasped, Stunned, Exclaimed, Blurted, Wondered, Staggered, Marvelled, Breathed, Recoiled, Jumped, Yelped, Shrieked, Stammered.

Note: everyone is entitled to their own opinion. No I am NOT telling people to abandon said and use these. Yes I understand that said is often good enough, but sometimes you WANT to draw attention to how the character is speaking. If you think adding an action/movement to your dialogue is 'good enough' hate to break it to you but that ruins immersion much more than a casual 'mumbled'. And for the last time: this is just a resource list, CALM DOWN. Hope that covers all the annoyingly redundant replies :)

Looking For More Writing Tips And Tricks? 

Check out the rest of Quillology with Haya; a blog dedicated to writing and publishing tips for authors!