Moon Jooheon

“i wouldn’t say that too loud. some of the people who didnt make into creed might hear you and want to slap you.”

"I am not complaning begin a pat of creed. I'm very proud of this and my mebmbers are amzing guys, also the oones that didn't make it. It's just most of creed already had their debut under their company. That's what i'm wishing for.

“you’re complaining to the wrong person, dude. i’ve been training since i was eleven. and i don’t get to be in a group– even temporary.”

“i don’t want to ask your age but i am aware of it that you are older. and i am sorry for the sudden attack, it just overcomes me at times.” 

“i mean this in the nicest way possible, but everyone knew how hard it would be. this industry is competitive.”

“even it is the nicest way acting can be hard on it’s own and who knows if i am an good actor.”

Noah kept his head down as the younger boy spoke. He had busted his ass on SMTM3 while Helix was preparing to debut, and as difficult as it was to dedicate himself entirely to both, it was hard for him to sympathize with Jooheon. He wasn’t quite sure what to say to all of the other boy’s complaints. Even though he loved Helix, releasing music on his own again was something that had been weighing on his shoulders for months now. But every time Noah thought about how much he missed actually rapping, he remembered just how tense Ryukji had looked when she told him that their label just didn’t have the money for it. Listening to Jooheon somehow just made him feel even worse. “Aren’t you still doing stuff with Creed now?” Noah asked, not knowing how he should respond. “You really want to jump ship to acting?”

Seeing noah hyung like that jooheon couldn’t help and bite his lower lip to suppress any wrong noise he could let out. Mustering the other male his heart felt heavy why did he just couldn’t shut his mouth and be quit. He knew that Noah was going trough a lot before debuting with Helix. Jooheon wasn’t at Alpha around that time but elder trainees told him the story over and over again, also there were some rumors about Noah wanting to make more music on his own. And hell, it was no secret that Noah was an amazing good rapper. “Hyung?” Jooheons voice was almost faded away and the sorrowfully taste in it didn’t makes things better. “I do. And i’m proud begin a part of creed and doing stuff together with them.” actually Jooheon didn’t really want to start his acting career before his singer debut and only shook his head. “I don’t really want to. And i should stop complaining i know i- i...” he completely stopped talking and looked down on the ground. 

thomas ran over some basic math in his head, cocking his head to the side. “well….debuting a new group right now doesn’t seem like it’d be in alpha’s best financial interest,” he pointed out. “echoes debuted less than a year ago. they’re a relatively small company– i doubt they made a profit at all until significantly after aura debuted. debuting a new group would require paying for music videos, promotions, a new dorm, wardrobe, production of albums and cds, photoshoots, venues for fanmeets……even the big three can’t debut a new group every six months. hell, spotlight and ds had a joint debut so they could split the costs of frontier fifty-fifty.”

jooheon listen well to the older male trying to keep up and calculating everything thomas just counted together. it sure must been a numinos number jooheon doesn’t want to even think about it. “i know i should just shut my mouth and be happy about what i’ve actually got. i am thankful don’t get me wrong. and i would do everything to make money and support alpha with it. it’s not like i’ll throw my company away because of staying in the dungeon forever...” it never even once came into jooheons mind to leave alpha records to make his official debut. he was to obsessed with his dream to make a debut under alpha records and share the same stage with jaeho hyung one day and beat him in begin the better idol. “i’m not ashamed that i let out my feelings is just i am very embarrassed right now.”

“tell me something i don’t know. sometimes i see my friends being all successful, and i feel like i’ve missed my chance, and i’m never gonna have a real debut, and it’s so fucking frustrating.”

“it really is frustrating and i know i shouldn’t be complaining and be thankful for what i gained already. and don’t get me wrong i really am, but the feeling that i’m lacking and won’t be good enough are buried inside me and it’s hard to not let them out at times.” 

“you any good at acting?”

“still lacking a lot.”

“this isn’t a big three company, jooheon. we don’t have the money to debut people every few months,” ryukji said with a little sigh. that was why hyunjoo had left to radioactive– he had been promised a quicker debut, and ryukji understood it. it was understandable. “that aside, if promoting in a group isn’t enough for you– permanent or not– i don’t know what to tell you.”

“don’t get me wrong!” his eyes almost popped out as he waves his hand in protection. “i didn’t choose alpha because i was looking didn’t get into any of the big three. i choose alpha because it’s my number one.” feeling the heat raise in his cheeks he lower his head. alpha was always the top company in jooheons eyes not even because jaeho hyung was in there, even that was his number one reason to try and join. “i’m thankful that i was able to join, i really am! and i don’t want to come off rude i know i was asking too much. i just thought i could do better. more i was talking about the future... i didn’t choose the right words... i’m sorry.” the short pauses between his words showed just how nervous he was at the moment. talking wasn’t something that was made for him, not always.

“okay, dude, no offense, but everyone knows how hard it is to debut. sola trained for twelve years before even getting to be on idol project, let alone unity and her solo,” seokyu said, uncharacteristically serious. “you debuted. you’re one of the lucky few. even if it’s not permanent, you have a chance that very few get.”

just listen to one of his members put jooheon into a more gloomy state he was embarrassed of himself more than enough, begin greedy wasn’t good at all times. “i know i was lucky and i treasure all my moments with you guys i just feel like not begin good enough, hyung! i want to give alpha back the hard work they put into me.” 

haena frowned, pausing hard before slowly writing out, “i don’t think it’s right to quit just because things aren’t going as expected. your training period is hardly out of the ordinary compared to other trainees, or training periods of other idols.”

“i know that myself.” jooheon sighed while interlace his fingers together. he knew better than anyone else that he wasn’t training for too long yet. looking on the note he get himself some blank paper and write out “i sometimes just feel like i’m doing not good enough. and people told me to let out my frustration in words.”

“so let me get this straight……you get success as an idol, debut in a project group because everyone voted for you, and want to quit because that’s not enough for you?”

“no i never would quit and left creed behind neither jaeyeon hyung since i promised him we will debut together. i was just a little” jooheon stopped and lowers his head feeling embarrassed of himself. 

“what is that thing that people say when they’re trying to be supportive? uh, don’t give up! you’ll probably debut someday! it’s probably just as hard to become an actor as a singer. and even if the road only gets harder from here, at least you’re not doing it alone.”

“I know i should trust in your words i mean i told me the same several times. It’s not easy to stay pantie seeing all your members and friends from other companies debut and you still are locked in the dungeon.”