Part (2) of Frozen Breaths - This can absolutely be read as a standalone fem oc x Crosshair fic, but for those familiar with Doc's Misadventures, this happens between An Ode to Artists and Fool's Errand.
Just a weee head's up: I've decided to end Divergent Paths with that previous chapter. I actually spent the last few weeks working on a little extra something something purely driven by the unhinged discussions in the Discord group, but then the house got sick (again), so I went back to the sick fic. As one does when ill. But I'm already over 3k words into that little surprise blorb, so hopefully it'll be ready soon. (Hint: non-Doc canon, but it involves Doc and Tech. And tentacles. There will be ample trigger warnings). There'll be one more chapter for Frozen Breaths (though I'm not sure which will come out first, this or the Tech thing).
There’s a weight to illnesses, a deception brought by weakened muscles and aching joints and the nauseating dance of fire and ice. The way sweat soaked skin trembled from a desperate chill was a cruelty in itself, torturous and unrelenting as fever raged useless and merciless. There’s a surrealness to it, a daze granting some intangible disreality to every wandering thought and illusioned memory; not enough to rob consciousness but yielding just enough uncertainty to obscure perception into half-truths and dreams.
Dreams, however, were far less cruel. In dreams, pain is known but not felt, cold is merely a word, and suffocation needn’t be feared. I would have liked it to be a dream, but the heaviness in my lungs, the exhaustion growing with each strained inhale bore no such kindness. That pain was real, as was the fear it carried; the knowledge that this wasn't something I might simply ignore and push through, the haunting certainty that the reason my body tremble and my chest ached was far worse than rote illness, and I found my thoughts falling down what nightmarish possibilities such a reality might bring, straining to force my awareness back into the world around me instead… to the cold… the heat… and pain… and…
A noise… no… a voice… I think someone said my name. Quiet. Calling me. Some heartbreaking murmur braided through with concern and hope and dread.
“Think she’s wakin’ up? Wan’ me to get Tech?” I knew that voice… deep… rough, yet soft in a way that left me wanting to risk the hurt of waking just to remember him… but the instant my eyes tried to flutter, the glaring light left me cringing away, eyelids slamming shut with a broken groan.
“I knew the lights were too kriffing bright…” The low curse growled so near to me that I would have shied from it if not for the familiar safety it filled me with, body instead pressing nearer to him with some silent plea for help… for an escape from the pain pounding through my head, my chest, my every exhausted muscle as I trembled. “Turn these damn things off first, then tell him to get his shebs back here – she’s just getting worse.”
“He said it would take a day or two.” As he spoke, that blinding light blessedly vanished, the darkness encroaching in its absence seemingly absolute as I struggled to remember how to focus. “Be nice if the storm’d clear up… Then we could jus’ get her to the Marauder – get her somethin’ that’d actually help…” Wrecker… As awareness reluctantly pushed that heavy fog from my mind, I slowly began to remember… The ice planet… the outpost… that first hint of a fever I’d tried so desperately to ignore until my breath grew shallow, thick, and even speaking left me gasping.
Crosshair’s arms tightened around me, but he offered no response. I could hear the slow sigh before footsteps retreated somewhere to my right. And then it was quiet. And dark. And so much harder to keep the seconds from blurring together, passing time measured only in the deafening booms of my heartbeat, the unsteady wheeze of strained breaths a mockery against the composed rise and fall of the lean form cradling me so carefully against him.
“You chose a really shit time to try to die on us.” He pressed the quiet grumble into my hairline, and I was almost certain he didn’t realize I’d heard him, but I managed an albeit faint disgruntled huff.
“M’not… dying.” I mumbled, voice cracking oddly. His chest hitched slightly as his attention darted down to me.
“Yeah, say it again without the damn death rattle.” He retorted. I tried to roll my eyes, but the sharp spike of pain it sent through my head made me tense hard enough for Crosshair to notice, concern instantly leaving him staggering between loosening his hold and tightening it, unsure how to help.
“M’f… m’fi…” I tried to reassure him, but the moment I drew a breath deep enough to force out some manner of speech, it only proved him right, diaphragm instantly caving beneath the strain with a coughing fit that left my entire body jerking forward. I could barely manage to hold a fist toward my lips to cough into, focus narrowing at the grueling effort of trying to keep my throat open, trying to force air into lungs burning from the strain.
I don’t think I was coughing anymore, but the exertion of each breath was no less consuming. Shouting. Cursing. Maker, I hated the panic in his voice, some flittering sliver of thought aimlessly noting how, when he yelled like that, he kind of sounded like Tech…
“…t helpi-… -st enough! Figure…!” Snips of words. Something slid over my throat, quick and precise and surely not trembling as it paused at the pulse point just beneath the hinge of my jaw.
“…not enough in…! … need… medication!” Angry… Tech was angry. My frown deepened as I struggled to shed the disorienting haze dragging my mind down, eyes fluttering with an unsettling listlessness as the warning alert trilled from a medscanner. That was the thing that drew me back, that sound that was so intertwined with panic and urgency and the dread that one of them was hurt, instantly hurling what pitiful traces of adrenaline my body still had through my chest with a rushed chill.
“Hey! Easy, dammit!” I fought to turn toward that hushed plea he’d so vainly twisted into an order, grimacing against the stiffness in my neck even as I strained to see him, to focus, to find whatever injury had surely caused that terrifying alarm.
“Evelyn, please try to remain calm. I assure you, we’re doing everything we can to h-”
“Turn the damn thing off!” Cross snapped, arms tightening around me against the anxious, jilting way my limbs were moving, struggling to find purchase. I didn’t notice the quiet of the scanner being muted, the sharp wheeze catching in my own throat an odd mimicry of the alarm, mind faltering between that consuming need for air and the pressing worry nagging my every thought; the terror that someone was hurt and I should be helping them…
“Evelyn! Dank farrik! Evelyn, calm down!” His raspy voice twisted into something closer to a snarl than an order though his touch remained only just firm enough to keep me pinned against him.
“Hey; yellin’ at her won’t help!” Wrecker chided. I fought the nauseating way the room continued to spin around me to try to find him; to make sure he was okay.
“I don’t see you doing a damn thing to help!”
“Enough!” Hunter barked over the both of them. Hunter… Wrecker… Tech, and Crosshair… They were all here… all okay… That only left…
“Easy…” I didn’t catch the look Hunter had shot his brother, but the way Crosshair’s voice lowered into a quiet murmur, the concern sown through every syllable no longer masked beneath frustration and rage, the subtle tightening of his arms in an embrace that was far more desperate than restrictive as he spoke, hushed and gentle, “easy, mesh’la… Just stay with me…” I couldn’t help but lose myself in him for a moment, those meager traces of adrenaline abandoning me to the exhaustion and weariness that I didn't have to fight anymore if only because he was holding me.
“Her lips…” Hunter started in a near whisper.
“I am aware…” Tech’s response held a sliver of impatience amidst a heaviness I so desperately wanted to ease. “Wrecker and I have been attempting to construct an electrolysis generator by isolating specific chemical components from what limited gear we have. Once it is functional, it should provide enough oxygen to limit further hypoxia.” I heard the words, each sounding clearly even through the persistent crackling that I couldn’t quite remember the source of, but as soon as he finished speaking, their meaning eluded me. But… Wrecker was helping him with something… not Echo… that felt important…
Hunter asked him something, but my attention faltered, shifting to a barely there hum… Crosshair was saying… something… couldn’t make it out… but I felt the warmth creeping up his neck as he held me, eyes turning pointedly away, cheeks darkening at the recognition his hushed words sent through Hunter, the flash of surprise that stole over the normally composed Sargent for barely a breath before he quickly schooled his expression if only to grant his brother a feigned sense of privacy, and I belatedly realized why I couldn’t understand it… Mando’a… he was speaking Mando’a.
I wanted to press, to beg him to whisper whatever pleas or promises or temptations he hid between fleeting caresses of his lips dancing against my temple in a way I might understand, but there was a magic to not knowing… and their soothing cadence robbed me of even the strength to keep my eyes open, body growing heavier with every heartbeat, falling limp, boneless against him as his arms tightened, crushing, desperate in those final wisps of consciousness.
There’s an odd difference between hypoxia and acute suffocation; the panic and cold of being suddenly deprived of oxygen whether from merciless hands locked around your throat or from the icy flood of water invading lips and lungs and burning everything it touched; the quickness of how heavy your body suddenly gets, the darkness that closes in until there’s only pain and fear and the screaming race of your heartbeat…
Hypoxia is far kinder than that, but no less frightening for it. It kills quietly. Confusion stifling fear as awareness dims, symptoms sometimes too subtle to even be noticed. I knew that. Facts gleaned from memorized texts mingled with nightmares witnessed firsthand had ingrained into my mind dozens of signs to watch for, but that knowledge was useless when it was my own mind flickering and fading.
It wasn’t until the colors returned in a sudden rush that I realized how dull they’d become, heart pounding with renewed desperation to drive blood finally enriched with oxygen through my body. But it wasn’t enough. Force, it wasn’t enough… Evey breath hurt… my lungs… my throat… My hands shook where they lay tucked against my chest, held there by something wrapped around me.
It took only a moment for that realization to send a fresh terror through me, torso lurching forward against that sense of restraint absent allowing even a fleeting thought toward what it was; who it was, and the flurried chorus of voices that followed was almost overwhelming.
“Wait-wait!”
“Don’t let her dislodge the tubing!”
“Whoa, easy, Ev!”
And closer, quiet in a way that somehow made it so much more clear… a hushed murmuring followed by a low “shhhh.” Crosshair…
I didn’t need to look to finally understand, belatedly recognizing the figures standing at the ready before me, frown deepening upon realizing I was looking at them through the detailed overlay of my HUD. I tried to glance around, as though I might find some reason to be wearing my bucket when the others weren’t, but Crosshair’s arms merely tightened around me, his thumb dragging gently against my side where his brothers wouldn’t see.
“Hey, you back with us?” Movements still sluggish from agonizingly weak muscles, I turned my gaze toward Hunter and nodded, earning a small sigh of relief.
“Evelyn, you must keep still.” There was something almost pleading in Tech’s voice, and that was enough to instantly demand my attention. “We’ve created a rudimentary electrolyzer to provide you with supplemental oxygen. However, the supplies we found aren’t innately compatible, so it was necessary to alter your air filtration system. Sudden movements could damage the junction.” Biting back a groan at the stiffness in my neck, I struggled to look at what he was referring to and found myself staring for far too long at the tubes running from the lower half of my helm down to a barrel, webs of exposed and retaped cables snaking in and out of a now ruined lid. It took a moment longer to finally notice that the make-shift device was connected directly to his datapad.
“-t’s… s…. is…?” I tried to force the question past trembling lips, but before I could truly remember how, a hand settled lightly around mine, and the look in those eyes rid me of even the memory of what objection I’d been trying to voice.
“It will be alright.” Tech murmured. I barely noticed the subtle tensing of Crosshair’s form against my back, nor the way Hunter’s brow hitched ever so slightly, but there wasn’t time to think on either as a sudden crackling broke the silence followed by a sharp pop! that left the room falling frightfully silent. Tech let out a slow, heavy sigh as he released my hand and turned his attention back to the device, to the now black screen of his datapad, and my heart dropped.
“I anticipated the electronic draw to eventually exceed its capabilities… but I had hoped it would last substantially longer…” His façade of annoyed impatience offered a poor mask for the dread surely twisting through his chest. That datapad wasn’t just a tool to him…
“Wrecker, we’ll need to finish the resister and get this connected to the generator immediately.” It was a safety net… a place to escape and hide when reality allowed no such reprieves.
“Already on it – let’s go.” And now it was gone; traded for a mere handful of breaths.
Wrecker didn’t shy from my gaze as he stepped forward to pick up the device, his scarred face heavy with a worry I didn’t have words to relieve.
Hunter’s arms folded stiffly over his chest as he watched them go, crease etched deep between furrowed brows.
“This damn storm is getting worse… Doesn’t look like it’ll start letting up for a few more days.” He grumbled, eyes trailing over the shadowed ceiling overhead.
“If that science project of his doesn’t work, she’s not going to last a few more days.” Cross grumbled, and I let out a small scoff.
“Dr… drama queen…” The little huff those scratchy words drew from Hunter was worth the effort, and my lips tilted into a weak smile behind my mutilated helmet at Crosshair’s answering grumble.
“I’m not the one passing out every five minutes.” He shot back. I wanted to argue… but could find no ground to stand on. My memories were hazy at best, lilting in and out amidst mere fractions of words that held little meaning. I remembered dragging myself from the abandoned bunkroom, but everything that followed…
“Tech knows what he’s doing.” Hunter stated firmly. “The fact that that thing worked at all is-” There was no loud boom. No flicker of lights nor tremor through the metal floors. There was only a sudden, encompassing darkness as silence settled heavily through the outpost. No hum of power. No thrumming of life support fans. Only the distant, violent winds previously deafened by what noises we so readily ignored, and the building felt dead without them.
“Gorramit! Tech!” Hunter shouted, pausing for barely a half-dozen heartbeats before launching himself down pitch-black hallways, rapidly departing footsteps the only proof of his presence.
“Kriff… don’t move!” Crosshair ordered, and I couldn’t silence the groan as he shuffled out from behind me. It didn’t matter how careful he tried to be – even the slightest movement rekindled the violent throbbing in my head, body shivering anew absent the warmth of his touch, and how my muscles burned from that wretched trembling…
“Dammit…” He growled under his breath, hesitating for just a moment longer as he held me, arm still wrapped behind my shoulders for support as his free hand hovered mere inches from the rim of plastoid following my jawline. But then he was gone, carefully leaning me against the rear wall before darting off after his brother.
The tubes running from my bucket’s filters left my already wheezing breaths sounding… hollow… artificial in a way that further mocked how little relief those useless gasps actually gleaned from air already growing colder. I could almost hear their shouting in the distance. Blinding light flared so suddenly through the room that my entire body recoiled against the sharp spike of agony it sent through my head, and then it was gone again just as quickly, the blackness left in its wake all the more disorientating for it.
My feet dragged weakly against the cot, fingers clawing at my visor in a useless attempt to press against my still burning eyes. The groan that caught behind ground teeth broke almost instantly into a flurry of wet coughs, each one tearing at the already ruined flesh of my throat like vibroblades, lungs exhausted, desperate for respite. I didn’t realize I’d begun slipping until that chill of suffocation tried to steal through me, fingertips tingling with it as some fleeting threat of logic strained to force me upright once more, muscles burning from even that miniscule bit of effort needed to push myself panting back against the wall.
That wheeze was deafening again; jaw agape as I fought for every inhale with the same effort it took to try to push that breath back out. Maker, I was so tired… My hand slid from my helm, clutching uselessly at my chest, and I couldn’t remember if there had ever actually been light to begin with, if the darkness around me held anything beyond shadows and cold and pain. My heart ached from its futile thrumming, and still it wasn’t enough.
But there was something else in those shadows… a sound… voices… I knew I recognized them… trusted them… and they were so distraught… why? My head spun, but I couldn’t let that thought go. Panic-fueled rage was all I could hear in those familiar shouts. Wrong… Something was deathly wrong. Scowling, I strained to think. Missing… something was missing… No, just not here. The Marauder… Someone needed supplies from the Marauder… supplies I failed to bring… Who… I think I’d seen Hunter recently… could almost feel the residual heat of Crosshair’s embrace… And Tech… he’d been with Wrecker… right? Echo… Where was Echo?
My head lolled toward my chest as I struggled to open my eyes. Couldn’t understand why I couldn’t see… Lights… I had my helm on… my light… I could…
Another flash of pain seared through my head as the lamp flared to life, but this time I strove to use that pain and what pitiful traces of adrenaline it wrought, blurry gaze darting unsteadily about for the rest of my kit despite the dizziness rekindled with each movement. The Marauder… I had to get to the Marauder…
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Poor Doc. She is so very exhausted and delirious. What the heck does she think she’s doing at the end?!? Girl just rest!
Crosshair being a jealous bitch - honestly - was sending me. 😂😂 But him talking in Mando’a, which his brother with highly-sensitive hearing caught on to was so sweet, in the way that only crosshair can be grudgingly sweet anyways. 😂
And Tech!! So frustrated he raise his voice!? Oh my goodness. He must be so worried if he was willing to sacrifice his datapad!!
Ugh and Hunter, I know he is just longing to hold her - he’s so tactile - but Cross is basically guarding her. 🙄 (omg cross - calm the fuck down for a second)
And Echo??? Where is Echo? I need to re-read, but he would still be mad at Doc at this point…. Hmm makes me worried for him.
As always - such a fantastic read with so much tension building up!! 🙌 Thanks for sharing friend. Cant wait for the next chapter!!!
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do you ever think about how lonely Echo is. how he felt so alone when he was rescued from Skako. how he can't be alone and spends all of him time with someone and following the batch around but probably aches for more but doesn't know what that is. can't place why his skin feels fuzzy and his bones feel empty and he just feels hungry. or how no one can ever truly understand what it is that he has gone through and how it haunts him every single day. how he won't talk about his feelings and keeps those locked down so tight no one can pry them away from him but then he just feels more isolated than before.
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"How can I be a failure when I never even got my chance? It's a chance you're throwing away. You're always trying to be the anchor, Hevy, y'know, do it on your own. Well, maybe you should embrace the fact that you have a team. See, I never had that. But you need them, and they need you. Why carry such a heavy burden on your own, when you have your brothers at your side, Hevy?"
I’m not sure entirely if this is my absolute FAVORITE episode of TCW, but it’s the one that I remember the most. I love the insight we get in the clones’ lives and training. They’re such a huge part of the war and while we have a lot of time with them on screen, clone-centric stories weren’t extremely prevalent before season 3. Plus, how could you not fall in love with the Domino squad here? They start off so disjointed and end as a true band of brothers. I love them, your honor.
Plus how can 99 not make you smile/cry every scene?
IDK if anyone notices or cares that I haven’t been around much lately… but for all the fic writers that I follow, I am sorry I haven’t been here to cheer you on as much lately. I’ve had a lot going on in my life so I’ve had to pour my focus into the real world. Sometimes fics are, ironically, the only thing that keeps me grounded.
I so love and appreciate everyone who has tagged me in their posts or shared fic updates lately. Keep it up and I promise to scream (happy screaming!) in your comments and reblogs soon. 🫶 I believe in making the world just a teensy bit brighter by spreading a little bit of love and appreciation around. As always, thank you so much for taking the time to share your writing here. It is hard to put yourself out into the world, but it gives immense joy to so many of us. You are seen and appreciated.❤️❤️
I'm sorry you've had a lot going on lately. Life has a way of hitting you hard when you least expect it. Your kindness and support has always made me feel like I'm doing something right by sharing my fics.
I hope you get some time to focus on you and rest <3 we'll be waiting here with plenty of fics to read to get your mind off of things and hopefully bring some joy whenever you're ready <3
😭😭😭 Thanks @the-bi-space-ace . I think the world would be a better place if people just took the time to spread a little kindness instead of so much hate and bullshit. I am hoping summer will slow down the drama, but maybe that’s wishful thinking. 😂
IDK if anyone notices or cares that I haven’t been around much lately… but for all the fic writers that I follow, I am sorry I haven’t been here to cheer you on as much lately. I’ve had a lot going on in my life so I’ve had to pour my focus into the real world. Sometimes fics are, ironically, the only thing that keeps me grounded.
I so love and appreciate everyone who has tagged me in their posts or shared fic updates lately. Keep it up and I promise to scream (happy screaming!) in your comments and reblogs soon. 🫶 I believe in making the world just a teensy bit brighter by spreading a little bit of love and appreciation around. As always, thank you so much for taking the time to share your writing here. It is hard to put yourself out into the world, but it gives immense joy to so many of us. You are seen and appreciated.❤️❤️
I finally made it through the newest chapter of TTTBU and omg Jesseeeee at the end… biting my nails with anxiety for him. I love the Zygerrian arc and I’m so glad you put Rex and Ahsoka thru it. It’s so eye opening for Rex - poor Rex really has it hard in this one. ❤️❤️ Loved the chat with him and Kix afterwards. As always - a fantastic chapter. I’m so nervous for what’s coming!! Thanks for sharing, as always!
IDK if anyone notices or cares that I haven’t been around much lately… but for all the fic writers that I follow, I am sorry I haven’t been here to cheer you on as much lately. I’ve had a lot going on in my life so I’ve had to pour my focus into the real world. Sometimes fics are, ironically, the only thing that keeps me grounded.
I so love and appreciate everyone who has tagged me in their posts or shared fic updates lately. Keep it up and I promise to scream (happy screaming!) in your comments and reblogs soon. 🫶 I believe in making the world just a teensy bit brighter by spreading a little bit of love and appreciation around. As always, thank you so much for taking the time to share your writing here. It is hard to put yourself out into the world, but it gives immense joy to so many of us. You are seen and appreciated.❤️❤️
I hope YOU realize how much your enthusiastic comments mean. I love and appreciate how excited you get when I post something and I always look forward to your comments and analysis. 🥰
I’m sorry real life has been stressful and overwhelming lately. (I get it - I haven’t posted anything in months. 😬) Stories and chapters will be ready and waiting when you’re ready.
It’s always nice to hear from you! I hope life calms down a bit soon! 💕❤️
IDK if anyone notices or cares that I haven’t been around much lately… but for all the fic writers that I follow, I am sorry I haven’t been here to cheer you on as much lately. I’ve had a lot going on in my life so I’ve had to pour my focus into the real world. Sometimes fics are, ironically, the only thing that keeps me grounded.
I so love and appreciate everyone who has tagged me in their posts or shared fic updates lately. Keep it up and I promise to scream (happy screaming!) in your comments and reblogs soon. 🫶 I believe in making the world just a teensy bit brighter by spreading a little bit of love and appreciation around. As always, thank you so much for taking the time to share your writing here. It is hard to put yourself out into the world, but it gives immense joy to so many of us. You are seen and appreciated.❤️❤️
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I hate to tell you this, but they don't care. This ship is going down, and those soldiers, my brothers, are willing to die and take you and me along with them.
You're a good soldier Rex. So is every one of those men down there. They may be willing to die, but I am not the one who is going to kill them.
