melatonin.

He asked. And I laughed. A dry, scratchy laugh. He looked at me, hurt and anger cloaking his hazel eyes into a dark charcoal. 

I wanted to tell him that I was crumbling into pieces inside. That my heart swelled to the point that it felt like my ribcage would shatter. My knees shook at the weight of regret already piling on my shoulders. My hands trembled as I forced myself not to reach out to him. And I smiled with whatever was left of me.

God knows this wasn't easy but it was definitely easier to walk away and fall apart on my own than drag him down with me.

I think part of growing up was being able to admit that my very best friend in the world was no longer the person I knew her to be. That she may be blazing her own path to success, but walking next to her has me burning. 

It's time to tie some loose ends. Cross some t's and dot some i's as it goes. 

I ran into a dude that once broke my heart. We never dated, but a lot of empty promises were made between us. I looked AMAZING. My outfit was on point. Like, I already felt good about it for myself, but the way he looked at me.... Idk. It felt even better. And on top of that, the guy he came there with (oblivious of our past) hit on me all night. And when we all parted ways, he seemed irked by the fact that his friend asked me out.

at this point in my life, I didn’t need his validation, but it was damn good to see that exact moment on his face when he realized he should have treated me better.

they say. 

Some people read this as a blessing,  

Robert: So this message is a long time coming- I've thought alot about it and I decided that it wasn't ok to just not say anything. I'm sorry to have to say this, but stop Sarah. We haven't had any type of sustainable friendship in months- arguably alot closer to a year. We haven't had any type of meaningful convo in at least 6 months. Its sad we've gotten to this point, but it is what it is. And it's honestly insulting that the only time you even bother making contact is when you want to get the "crew"/a group together- making it obvious that our friendship has deteriorated to the point where we could only interact is with other ppl around (and honestly that doesn't even happen, seeing as how the last couple of times we were at the same place, we avoided each other completely). You can't just come and go into ppl lives when it's convenient for you. You should stop pretending, I stopped a while ago...