no one is allowed to have a take on zeus and hera's marriage unless they know about/have read the wooden bride myth
the wooden bride myth is crucial to understanding their marriage in two ways:
The premise is that Hera is sick of Zeus' bullshit (there is no singular incident, it is likely a culmination of his infidelities and his disregard for her role), and that she leaves him for a certain period of time. This is HUGE in that it debunks the claim many people have that Hera is incapable of or would never leave Zeus because of his mistreatment of her. It is perhaps the most important myth for showing Hera's agency.
The lengths at which Zeus goes to get her back demonstrate an innate love for Hera that modern interpretations love to leave out. It also shows a deep bond between Zeus and Hera because when she finds out about the prank, she laughs her ass off and returns to him. It is such a WEIRD thing as well for Zeus to do; it can only be proof that Zeus knows Hera and that he can make her laugh with his dramatic antics. (Also it shows how ridiculous it would be for Zeus to marry anyone else and that Hera is his true partner)
THIS!!!
It’s also worth nothing in Plutarch’s version of events, recounted in George Topalidis’ thesis The Stages of Hera: Deconstructing the Sacred Marriage, Hera is shown hiding herself away on Mount Cithaeron instead of Euboia and Zeus is left wandering around in search of her. Yes, the king of the Gods, wandering around the earth to find his wife. Zeus Heraios, utter loser without his queen, trying to find Hera to no avail with the desperation of a forgotten lover. (Menelaus vibe much?)
Then there’s Hera, who left for really good reasons, hearing someone else is marrying her husband. A small wedding, nothing like the lavish big wedding they had. And despite everything that’s happened to them, it itches her heart that Zeus is marrying someone else. Maybe It’s jealousy. It is also love. Both emotions motivates her to go down to that small wedding (that none of the other Olympians bothered to attend!) and give the girl daring taking her place as Zeus’ wife and queen a piece of her mind, until she discovers it’s a wooden statue and knows she’s irreplaceable ;)
Two monarchs, two fools who really love each other
