Sarcasm for FREE. @ruhrpottkoeter - Tumblr Blog

me *finds 10 bucks in my winter jacket I forgot there last winter*

me, with monocle: “Bring the caviar! The mob shall move!”

#winter #winterstyle #cold temperature #cold season #jacket #winter is coming #bucks #lucky me #noble #rich life #rich kids #money #classy

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Me: *relaxed on my bed*

Partent: *enters my room*

Parent: *condemns every decision I ever made and leave*

Me: *unrelaxed on my bed*

#me #thats my life #just mom things #parents #ok wtf #life

“Your sarcasm won’t bring you anywhere in life!”

“Actually it did bring me to the Sarcasm World Cup 2011 in Peru!”

“For real?”

“No.”

#sarcasm #sarcastic #me #sarcasmisapartofme #attitude #life #peru #world cup #actual conversation #relateable #just saying

There‘s no need to repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time!

#sarcasm #sarcastic #me #attitude #shut up #fuckoff #life #relateable #sarcasmisapartofme #welltruth

Welcome to the 243rd episode of the 2018th season of TIERED - a bedflix original. Starring TOO EARLY, COFFEE and FUCK OFF.

#sarcasm #sarcastic #me #life #relateable #netflix #bed #im so tired #sleepwhereareyou?#coffee #coffeaddict

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And another day passes I didn’t use Pythagoras theorem.

#mathematics #math #like wtf #why? just why?#school

Me: *pulling a push door*

X: “you have to push”

Me: “aye thanks man, my next attempt would’ve been lifting it from the bottom”

#sarcasm #sarcastic #me #sarcasmisapartofme #life #relateable #attitude #door

First date, I’m fucking nervous

Date: “Are you nervous?”

Me to myself: you gotta act self confident!

Me (self confident): “No, I’m Sara.”

#me #fuck #life #relateable #why am i like this #what am i doing?#wtf brain?#wtf #date #first date #romance #romatic #fucked up #where can i hand in my high school diploma?

memesoftheday

Once I fix my sleep schedule, start eating healthy, get physically fit, beat depression, stop procrastinating, learn how to do taxes and get mentally strong enough to make phone calls, then it’s over for you bitches!

#sleepwhereareyou?#sleep schedule #taxes #fuck #sarcasm #me #why am i like this #inability #life under control #wtf #be prepared #my day will come

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The human brain is a fascinating organ. It starts working the day you were born and won’t stop until you’re in the middle of that fucking math exam and all of sudden everything you remember is the chorus of Cotten Eye Joe.

#science #brain #amazing #why #why am i like this #wtf brain #cotton eyed joe #function

*puts earphones in*

*plays music*

*puts earphones out to check if the music plays loudly*

As well as in other situations I’m having great trust in myself and my ambitions!

#earphones #bus #busstories #me #why am i like this #ambition #skills #relateable #bruh #trust issues

American but Amerishouldn’t

#against trump #america #usa #politics #donald trump #yeswecan #noweshouldnt

How can I unknow people?

#people #hate #hatehumans #sarcasm #sarcastic #life #attitude #fuckoff

Teacher: “Say it out loud, maybe someone has the same problem!”

Girl: “Does anyone has a tampon?”

#just school #schoolsucks #school #school things #teacher #girlsyoufeelme #girlstuff #classroom #wellfuck

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“hey I can see your bra strap.”

“Oh fuck. No one is allowed to to know that me, a woman, is wearing a bra. Call Victoria - her secret’s out!”

#escalation #bra #showing #victoria's secret #fuck #catastrophe #scandal

“You always hear what you wanna hear!”

“A glass of wine? I’d love to!”

#wine #glass of wine #never listens #what?#attention

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