Simon "Ghost" Riley who is touch starved.
Simon who's lived most of his life with a deep ache of loneliness in his chest that begs to be held
Simon who's childhood, military training, and overall trauma have conditioned him to push that ache into the back of his mind, telling himself he can βuse it, push himself with it"
Simon who twists his thoughts to make himself believe he deserves this pain
Simon who only allows himself to think about and want the comfort of holding and being held by someone else when he's lying awake at night.
Sometimes in the barracks after a tough operation, sometimes when he's restless from weeks without a mission.
But every time he lets that train of thought go on, it always spirals into hopeful impossible thoughts of being loved, having someone to love, and even wondering if he could have more in life than the endless fighting and violence.
He doesn't let himself think about it too oftenβ¦
