if you make a promise, you keep it

Before I get into what just happened to me, can I just say how insane it is that even in 2023 there are vending machines that just drop a bottle of soda 5 feet onto the floor before you can drink it? A ludicrous design flaw

doctors will be like. yeah. there’s something so so so so wrong with you. idk what and I don’t really care

i’ve like never played a resident evil game and don’t intend to but i still just cannot stop fucking thinking about stupid manthing i’m fuckin ballin tweet

Craft stores are just like "can I interest you in some...objects? some items? would you like some things?" and every time I'm like Oooh I love objects and items and things!

#i black out the second i enter a michael's and come to like an hour later with three bags full of beads and 5lbs of fake birds

last night i had a dream that i was playing minecraft and i noticed i had 77 blocks of cobblestone in one slot instead of it being capped at 64 and it was so jarring to me that it literally booted me out of the dream. like sure you can fly now and your childhood home is a pharmacy but 77 pieces of cobblestone? unthinkable. wake the fuck up.

bro thinks hes got plany off time 💀

The biggest reason I KNOW we haven't captured an alien spacecraft is that its specs haven't been leaked on War Thunder forums

I will be like "I'm fine" and then another fucking event will occur

(eyes closing completely) no yeah im awake whags up