Let me name the stars for you.

Yeah, it's time to get this post out again

what they don't tell you is that after you turn 30 you have ocasional but powerful bouts of home ownership fever, which is like baby fever but instead of randomly really wanting a baby you go on zillow and look at modest properties you will nonetheless never be able to afford. and then it passes and you're like wtf was that about. yay time for another $6 coffee to stave off the dread

whoever made that post that's like "depressed people aren't listening to sad music they're listening to wild ones by flo rida at 7 in the morning" has ruined my life. sitting in my car outside work right now feeling like shit emotionally but at least hollaback girl is playing on the radio

this shit is bananas.

we’re the only animals that know what will happen later in the day

yo bro lets just dillydally later when ur free

have you ever typed a message but halfway through you think "you know what, they don't even care" and deleted

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

just had a really stable moment where i opened a redbull at the exact same second someone started playing industrial music in the apartment below and i briefly thought it was coming from inside the redbull can

i had a dream i worked in an underwater restaurant and people kept ordering ice in their drinks and then getting mad at me when it would float away. and i’d tell them beforehand that the ice would float away & they’d be like lol no that’s not how it works just give me the ice. I’m fighting customer service battles never seen before