coughing and wheezing like a sickly baby bird

you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for an amazing reason

it's Tuesday all day today and there's no known way to prevent this

Dude living downstairs has been loudly rapping for like 10 minutes, then suddenly did a high pitched scream, and now its silent down there

he got raptured

With a glory hole you're having a threesome with the house

Yes, that’s a gun in my pants. No, I’m not happy to see you.

that is supposed to say smile.

Two dudes in my group chat have been playing league & slowly but surely have shifted from saying "wanna play league of legends" to "wanna play some geego legends". At this point their average post is just @ing the other and going "geegogagand?" and I feel insane

playing stupid games but im really bad at them so im not even winning the stupid prizes

i want a perfect buddy i want a perfect bro