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Dark times all around but there are still people out there who love you
Do not hurt yourself, do not hurt others, get help, talk to someone, anyone. Humanity has survived before and we can do it now if we all just support each other. My country and my people let me down and endangered my life but there’s nothing I or anyone else can do about that so let’s try to spread the love that is so clearly lacking.
When I was a child, from the time I was about four and could understand things, my mom told me and my brother that we should have a secret word. That way, if we were ever in trouble or felt unsafe and we didn’t want the people around us to know we needed her to come get us, we could let her know. So she let us pick the word and my brother and I chose the phrase “peanut butter cups.” (I’m happy to share the phrase now since both my brother and I are adults now).
I used the phrase twice in my life. Once, I was at a friends house when I eight years old. Her dad got really drunk and was throwing things against the wall. I was really scared and I didn’t want to draw attention to myself on the phone when I called my mom to come get me because I didn’t know if he would get more violent if I asked her to come get me. So I called her and was calm and after a couple minutes I asked “Hey mommy, did you get me those peanut butter cups from the store?” And she said “I’ll be right there.” And she came and got me within minutes.
Second, I was a teenager spending the night at a friends house. Her brother and dad were drinking and they started talking about things that made me uncomfortable - ie: what they liked to do to women. My friend didn’t seem perturbed and said that was normal for them and that I shouldn’t worry. But I was worried because they were really drunk and I was 15 and the only ‘woman’ around that wasn’t related to them. I went in my friends room, told her I needed to call my mom and say goodnight. Before I hung up with her I asked “Next time we go to the store, can we get some peanut butters cups? I’ve been craving them.” And she came and got me, just like that.
Two incidents, one as a young child, one years later as a teen. Don’t discredit this stuff, it fucking works. My brother used it a few times too. Let your child pick the word and no never, ever, ever, ever get mad at them for using it no matter what it is.
Off topic, but very important! I was taught to yell “this is not my mom/dad.” A young kid freaking out in public is likely to be ignored out of embarrassment, but a kid telling you right out that they don’t know who is messing with them? That will turn heads.
I feel like this should be said too if you see a child yelling things like “this isn’t my mum, or I don’t know you” or something don’t ignore them! This system relies on people actually helping the child! It dosent matter how rude you’ll seem or how anxious you are you could be saving a child’s life!
Even if you just ask the child “Do you know this person” if the adult butt’s in make sure to ASK THE CHILD! Even a shy kid will tell you they don’t know this person or just met them or something!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Edward A/N: on it!! Not super proud of this one but I can't rly think of anything better currently, but I at least hope it's decent to y'all ^^"
I imagine Engineer as a sadistic and manipulative yandere, more under cut!
Daily reminder that tf2 reqs are open! ^^
CW: general yandere themes, toxic relationship dynamics, domestic (?) abuse, implied mentally ill/traumatized reader, gender neutral reader, (nonsexual) objectification, heavy & recurring themes of manipulating & gaslighting & guilt tripping, nonconsensual drugging (I'm a sucker for it I'm sorry), victim blaming, vaguely implied future wants for a family, actually smart reader but everyone else is dumb, (descriptive) choking, false L-bombs, mentally unhinged and ooc engineer, forced proximity & relationship, nonconsensual amputation (of a healthy limb), lmk if I need to add more!!
Word count: 1,200+
Unlike the others he didn't start liking you because you did something, or said something, he just knew the second he saw you. Not in a love at first sight way though.
He could tell immediately that you were broken, at least by his standards, and he craved to fix you. You just didn't know it yet.
He didn't love you because he necessarily liked your personality or looks or anything of that sort, he loved you because you were a problem to be fixed.
Like finding a broken toy from your childhood and picking it apart just to assemble it to your liking.
Like seeing an overbred dog and giving it pity, just enough for you to take it home— not out of the kindness in your heart, but rather your savior complex, the need to prove to the world or rather yourself that you're a nice person.
Like kintsukuroi, the ancient Japanese art of repairing what's broken with gold, of repurposing the useless, of saving what would've been lost.
That's you, that's all you are to him— something to fix, something to mend. You're not even a "someone" to him, you're a thing, an object.
He's very good at putting on a facade, especially a kind and caring one, the type of convincing that's so good that you'll look crazy if you're suspicious.
Months spent checking in on you during ceasefire— indulging in whatever hobbies you enjoyed, he thought of it as enrichment—, making small talk after battle— and by small talk he means asking about your views on family, he's a curious man—, bringing you meals when you forgot to eat— each one drugged just a little bit with some help from Medic, just enough to release dopamine in your body that you'll start to associate with him.
It's almost impossible to not like a man such as himself, especially when he's clearly sweet on you specifically. And even if you don't feel the same, you'll learn to.
He's the most respected and "normal" of the mercenaries, so even if you were suspicious of him and seeing through his act it's not like anyone would take you seriously.
Gods forbid he finds out, he'll corner you in your own room and say he just wants to talk. He says he doesn't like scolding you, says he doesn't like seeing you cry. He says he doesn't like it when you're upset with him, says he doesn't like doing these things to you.
Ignore the large hands around your throat, and don't try to claw him off, he's doing this for you. It's all for you, he cares about you. Even if you did try, you wouldn't get far. Shh, shh, shh, it's okay, it's just you and him now.
He's just holding you down by the neck and pressing his body against yours so you don't try to run or scream. You'll worry the others! Why are you scared of him? After everything he's done for you, too!
You weren't always like this, what happened? Why are you like this? You're making this so hard for him, all he wants is a happy life with you!
He loves you, he loves you, he loves you, he loves you— repeated like a mantra to your slowly paling face, a mix between sad and deranged and calm all at once. He's just not used to feeling like this, you have to believe him, but this is what love is like! True love, everyone else before him was nothing, is nothing.
Despite the physical circumstances, he'll try and talk to you so nicely, like trying to calm down a scared wounded animal. In the same tone as when he's comforting you about your insecurities, he'll ask you if he scares you— even though all you can get out is gargles and attempts at gasps for air.
He's not mad, just disappointed, he expected better from you. Don't you know that he just wants to help you? It's almost like he doesn't notice your eyes rolling back into your head, your face a disgusting mix of blue and purple by now.
Now that the scolding is done he'll make you promise not to try and run your mouth again— it really hurts his feelings, but he knows you don't mean it, you just get overwhelmed sometimes, it's okay. And well, if it were to happen again he won't know what he'll do, but it'll be worse.
Once you nod frantically in agreement however he'll release your throat and instead wrap his arms around your body— softly, warmly, lovingly— holding you close as he coos at you, apologizing as you try to gather your breath.
Your legs feel like a baby deers, shaky and fragile, which he notices. Picking you up bridal style and carrying you over to your bed, placing you down and getting in beside you.
You're his now, okay? Is all he says as he puts his chin on your head, snuggling into you like this was normal, like you ever agreed to any of this.
Maybe you always were his, you just didn't know.
Weeks are spent anxious, not feeling safe even in your own room, not feeling safe even around your other teammates because you know they'll believe him over you.
The Engineer is a smart man, he notices the decline in your quality of life, and as a practical problem solver and your self assigned lover he knows exactly what to do! Fix you once and for all.
One night quickly turns into one morning, but as you wake up to start the day— maybe grab breakfast— you find something feeling different, or rather the lack of feeling all together. Looking over your body in confusion only to find your dominant arm... Gone, replaced with a prosthetic almost identical to the Engineer's.
Confronting him about it wasn't easy, even once you had stopped panicking (or at least outwardly), not because you had trouble approaching him, but rather because he didn't see the problem.
He told you that when he amputated his own arm he hadn't needed to do it either, perfectly healthy just like you! So he doesn't understand why you're so upset about it, when he didn't care when it happened to him. He personally thought it was romantic, a new thing to bond over!
Trying to explain to him the difference between growing closer through matching outfits and growing closer through matching amputations was useless, it all just went in one ear and out the other.
Why? Well, because you were already broken of course! He just put you back together in his image.
If you press hard enough though he'll crack, it'll be sudden and harsh, the comforting smile leaving his face in a flash as he gets closer.
He won't waste time sugar coating the truth now that he knows you're too stubborn to take his lies at face value, so he just explains that he did it because he wanted to.
He wanted to because he wants you to hurt. He wants you to cry, he wants this.
Maybe now that he's shown you his cruel side you'll learn to appreciate his love and care, and if not? You still have more to lose.
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