Let's Roll!

     She winced, just slightly, as the cloth brushed the gash in her palm. Her gaze was fixated on it as it absorbed the blood, slowly spreading outward, staining the once pristine fabric because she had been clumsy and easily startled. 

     That, she didn’t want to address again.

     “You didn’.” She shot back firmly, even knowing it was futile. Part of her regretted texting him, always forgetting how easily his attention would twist to her. How easily they could fall apart at the mention of immediate family. Mom and Dad were taboo, but Mom wasn’t one expected to come up and stick in the way this did. Fifteen years without a word, and so easily she had popped up in their lives after so long a time. Hiding in plain sight.

     Existing happily without them.

     Did she even know?

     Anxiety spilled over into anger, and her unharmed hand curled into a fist as it slammed on the ground, head pressed into Nero’s chest. “How could she?” Voice raspy as she growled out, raw from the earlier excess of emotions taking control.

     She wondered if she checked up on them, being so close. If she dared to find out. If their father knew she was so near. If maybe they still say each other from time to time. Who lied to who, and whether she was aware of the abuse. Cared about the abuse. She didn’t deserve to look so content as she perused through the vegetables, picking out the freshest ones….

     She was more content assuming her dead.

     At least then, she had an excuse. If she left the country, even, she had one. But here, so close? Still not far from their old house, where they were now. They had left the immediate proximity of one parent only to drift into the other’s.

     “Th’fuck kinda game ‘s bein’ played with us, Nero?”

     Nero sighed at her reply to his useless outburst. What he said wasn’t necessary-- or perhaps the way he said it wasn’t the right way. It wasn’t a chore or a burden to make sure she was alright-- he wanted to. He breathed out a curse and if his hands weren’t busy, you could bet that his palm would be busy smacking his face over and over for a few good minutes.

     Watching her grief swell into the uncontrollable fury was like watching a wave roll onto a shore, and upon the realization that there was nothing they could do about their past, the anger in her face bubbled away like sea foam. Only replaced with the familiar anxiety that they suffer day by day.

     A part of Nero wished that he had been there, to see what she had seen. Help Sice bear a bit of it, if he could. The sound of her voice caused a quiet shh to escape from his lips and he freed a hand to place upon her head.

     “I’m not about to apologize for their mess again,” he said quietly, still trying to calm his sister. His arm that suffered the consequences of their parent’s anger began to throb in pain-- so much that it actually made him wince as if the damage was fresh.

     “I mean, since when was our life ever easy? Never, if you ask me.” If she was strong enough to start talking mild trash about them, then he felt that it was safe enough to lay off the protectiveness bit by bit. Just until they can stand tall together again. It was always a worry to him that he was being too much and he would hate to smother her with it.

    But if he wasn’t focused on her, the only thing that was left was himself. His jaw tightened and the pain in his arm never let up yet. The anxiety he forced himself to swallow down was coming back up and he only hoped that he wouldn’t vomit from the intense emotion.

messoris:

                   Body jolting at the sound of his voice mixed with the door hitting the wall, Sice slipped and cut her palm on a piece of glass. Air sucked in between her teeth as the pain throbbed and the blood pooled in her cupped, pale hand. Her gaze shifted between the bits of glass on the floor and the blood in her hand, trying frantically to assess the situation and how much worse it might get. “It was an accident, I was just tryin’ a clean it up, I didn’-” … mean it. Her composure faltered slightly, realizing how distraught the words had left her lips. What she had meant by them. How the noises had triggered a reflex in her she hadn’t realized existed.

                   Oh.

                   She gasped and heaved, trying to take in air while her body felt like her lungs weren’t filling and her vision blurred. She was supposed to fine, this wasn’t something that ever affected her, it wasn’t something that should have had a hold on her.

                     She was supposed to be fine.

                   Her gaze drifted to her brother, hazy, but still there. It was him. He was here, and she would be okay, but those thoughts alone weren’t enough to calm her down. Ripping her gaze back to her hand, she motioned at it through shaky breathes, barely able to croak out, “Towel,” at him as the blood settled around the shallow cut. her fingers tingled, circulation faltering as she took silent gasps for breath, battling with herself to slow them down and calm herself.

                   I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine. Her thoughts kept spiraling into unwanted memories, making her feel like she was that little girl instead of just remembering how it used to be. She was so sure she had righted herself despite breaking the glass until something so simple as a few loud noises had stirred her back up again.

                   Thankfully her breathing was beginning to regulate, enough for her to realized she had been crying through the ordeal, and quickly trying to wipe away and hide it, though it was futile.

                   “I’m okay,” She breathed, steadier this time, gaze never leaving her wound. “Really… you didn’ have ta’… run over.”

                   Never the less, she was grateful.

     Was it an accident, or was it intentional? He could have sworn that maybe-- just maybe that a piece of broken glass sliced against her shaking hands when the door slammed open. It was a possibility, but by the heaves of air Sice was forcing into her lungs, Nero was entirely unsure.

     His jaw was tight when he flicked the light switch on and swallowed before taking a step into their small place. Being in control was what he wanted the most. The nerves should die down. Be strong. Even though the sight of his sibling tore him up from the inside out, the voice in his head frantically told him to keep calm.

     Snatching a kitchen towel from the counter, Nero walked over and gently took her hand. His sudden outburst earlier made him uneasy, and he had hoped that maybe she forgot about it.

     But there’s no way she should. Sice was never that dumb.

     “I’m sorry,” he said, the words thick in his mouth. It was something that he would tell her-- even when it was neither of their faults. It was a foreign saying in situations like this. “I wasn’t there.” Even though his grip on Sice’s hand was confident, he was gentle as can be when he pressed the cloth against the cut.

     The sweat that ran down the side of his face was the last thing on his mind until the other mentioned his choice to run back home. The corner of his lip twitched before he hastily replied.

     “I had to. I have to.”

     It was practically a scowl.

     “I really don’t gotta remind you about the shit we went through. You know damn well that I’ll show up-- even if I was half dead, got it?” His blue eyes left the cloth that was starting to turn that familiar red color-- the way it was twisted around his sister’s hand made his stomach turn as well.

     Instead he decided to look into eyes that were the same color, but the only difference was that they were filled with tears. It made him shift where he was sitting just the slightest and words got stuck in the depths within himself once more. Did he really have to pick between staring at blood or tears?

                   She was still laying against the wall when her phone buzzed in her open palm, free hand frantically wiping at her eyes to restore any vision she could muster through the frenzied fit of tears. Never had anything worked her up like this, and there had never come a time in her life where she thought this was the reaction she would have if her mother ever popped up in their lives again. They were quite a ways from home, but not so far that it was unreasonable to stop in { assuming they would ever want to }. To think she had been so close this whole time, and never once did she try to speak to them, or visit, or take them away. 

                  Digit tapped haphazardly at the screen, trying her best to put on that she was okay, though it was clear through her writing that she was anything but.

Sice: i jumped right outt a the store the monent i saw he Sice: r Sice: im fine and im h ome you don t have ti come Sice: its oksy

                  Deep breaths. Her grip on the device tightened as she took a few minutes to try to relax. She was never one to be prone to panic attacks, though the few that had struck her as a child all had to do with family. Why can’t I handle this? Out of everything, something like this should have been where she was most grounded. She could stand up for herself, she could fight, she could incite fear in anyone with something as simple as a look.

                  Yet her family always had her running.

                  The cloth on her elbow was used to wipe her eyes again as she continued to breath steadily, like she had learned to all those years ago. After a few more minutes, she was able to lift herself off of the floor, albeit shakily, and walk herself over to the kitchen to grab a glass of water in hopes of helping the shaking.

                  She took a few sips, leaning into the counter as her other hand kept lighting up her screen, waiting for another message. She wanted to think that woman never saw her. Even if she did, how would she know? She was… almost twenty, now, so it had to have been… fourteen years, about, since they last saw her. The only advantage she had in possibly recognizing her was how similar they looked to one another.

                  Why couldn’t she change that.

                  Letting out a shaky sigh, she grabbed the glass of water and headed toward the couch, only to slip, glass breaking on the hardwood floor and water spilling out every which way. 

                  “Shit,” One more mess to clean up, one she didn’t want her brother walking in and finding. He worried enough for her when there were more important matters to deal with, everything aside from their family. A more pronounced sigh grated from her lips as a hand ran through her hair. She knelt down on the floor and began shuffling the smaller pieces into the less-broken base of the cup. One more thing to replace…

     He was seeing red. And if he could tell someone that he was seeing red, he would explain that that’s all he his mind could see, and that nothing was processing through his eyes. All at once Nero was remembering bits and pieces of his childhood that fucked him up the most. The red marks that blossomed on their skin from the parental abuse-- and the red that eventually found it’s away out of their own bodies from strikes that only got more violent as they grew in age.

     It’s true that such trash had eventually left their lives, but the scars they had received from them will always stay.

     It was for the better that he was alone and that Kyrie wasn’t bothered enough to follow him. Trying hard to think past the anger that was boiling within, he could’ve sworn that she was screaming from the door that ‘this is the last time!’, but it didn’t matter anymore. I don’t give a fuck.

     The next wave of text messages allowed his anxiety to sink on the same level as his rage. Sice had always been headstrong despite the hardships, but this never did sit with her well. Nero was convinced that it never will, either. Shaking hands held his phone while he texted back with unsteady fingers

Nero: on my way

Nero: dont do anything stupid

     Nero stared at his phone, his lips a hard line. Whenever this particular was subject was brought up or if they ever did see either of their parents, things would almost get ugly. But someone had to be in control, whether it pained him or not. Practically jogging now as if the memories were chasing him, he sent another message before going off in a full sprint.

     Once the familiar apartment came into sight, the male allowed himself to slow down and catch up with his breaths, sweat beading down his face. Unfortunately, his hands were still shaking and now his lips were chapped from the mental and physical overhaul. Walking up the steps that lead to their door, the sudden sound of glass breaking only made things worse as he scrambled for his keys and failed each time to get it into the keyhole. “Sice--” he called out and finally the door flew open.

                    They had been running low on groceries, and Sice was the only one with free time that day to run errands and pick up what they needed. She was happy to have something to fill up her time while the others were busy, knowing how boring it could be to wind up on her own for a day already. She really sympathized for the others whenever they wound up stuck alone, as well. 

                    What she did not expect, nor anyone would, for that matter, was how likely she would run into a certain someone. You’re supposed to lose a face over time, details becoming obstructed or blurred as memories overlapped and took the space of old ones. This was difficult, however, when images of them lie well within pictures of your memories. As much as you may try to ignore a face as you flip through old photographs… it’s never quite so easy.

                    She hated how much she looked like her, now.

                    It felt like an eternity. The way her gaze brought her to the profile - older, and worn - but still very much the same as the face she gazed on in her memories. She used to be the one saving grace during her childhood… but then she left.

                    She abandoned her half-filled cart in the middle of the aisle and didn’t turn back, didn’t so much as slow down until she was through the store, down the streets, and safe behind the door of the apartment. She collapsed against the door, hand shakily fumbling in her bag for her phone. She heaved a breath, attempting to get her fingers to work properly before she couldn’t see well enough to message her brother.

     The male made sure to lay still while Kyrie made herself comfortable, laying her head on his stomach while she texted away on her phone. Clearly she had no consideration for his comfort and time. This is definitely running it’s course. One thing was for sure though... he would rather do this instead of forcing a smile and acting like he was having a good time. Damp hands played at the edges of the long sleeved shirt he was wearing, trying to find a way to let air circulate, because damn was it hot this summer.

     Though, even that wasn't a concern for her either. Nero knew how much she hated the scars that were never going to fade from his right arm. Blue eyes were slowly closing due to the never ending boredom, but the sudden buzzing noise form his own phone caused him to wake up. “’scuse me,” he said with slight annoyance, finally being able to wiggle his arm from the female who complained about how he was moving too much.

     Nero coudn’t tell if his heart skipped a beat or stopped at the sight of the text messages. An even bigger question was: did it falter that second out of anger or panic?

     He sat up now, not caring if the other rolled off his torso. The main concern was his sister-- the one he fought so damn hard to protect from those things his whole life. The ringing in his ears drowned out the whining in the background as he texted his sibling through gritted teeth.

Nero: You have to leave NOW

Nero: Where are you

Nero: I’m leaving right now

     The texts were sporadic. Not another second was spared. His feet were already on the floor and hands were gathering whatever belonging’s he had bought with him even though the plan was for him to stay the night. Not waiting for Kyrie to ask him questions, he immediately spoke through a rugged and shaking voice that he couldn’t contain.

whirlwhip:

                    In attempt to avoid her embarrassment and to leave the bickering siblings be, Seven headed towards the kitchen with a box to make herself look busy. Better to ignore and pretend like nothing was happening, right? That’d erase whatever the hell just happened.

                   Hearing Sice’s comments about the pizza, she began to ponder what mood her taste buds were in today. Logically, it was probably best to pick something cheap, considering they all had to pay the fees for the apartment. Any money they could save was well worth it. College life.

                   When Nero looked at her, she held eye contact for a moment before turning her attention back to the open cardboard. Why was he grinning at her like that? The strange feelings began to bubble up again, and she was glad her gaze was downwards into a box. Usually she was much more in control of her emotions, able to shove them down and move on. Why was he so different?

                                                 Why am I like this.

                   “I’m okay with pepperoni, too.”

                   “Do we want to walk over and pick it up to save the cost of delivery?” she asked the siblings, one eyebrow raised in question. It wasn’t too far away, and it wouldn’t be awful to explore their new neighbourhood. The boxes could wait if it meant getting to know their surroundings. 

                   “I wouldn’t mind getting to know the area a bit better, if you guys are down for talking a walk,” she continued, leaning on the counter as she spoke. 

                   “It’ll be like old times. Remember when we used to sneak out and bring a box back to my place?” The trio had to be extra careful not to alarm Seven’s parents and her siblings. If there was one thing a kid’s nose could pick up on in the dead of sleep, it was the smell of fresh pizza out of the oven. 

                   It seemed like a life time ago that the three were just kids without responsibilities. Smiling at the fond memory, she almost wished they were able to go back to simpler times. But she also knew how important and vital these steps were to the siblings. They were absolutely free from the awful conditions they had to endure until now, and Seven was extremely grateful for it. They had a bright future ahead of them. 

                   As long as this weird thing that was happening didn’t get in the way, everything was golden! And even on the off chance something ever happened between her and Nero, she would never let that come between the dynamic.

                                           Stop thinking about that! 

                    “We could.”

                   Her voice carried over from the kitchen. As much as she just wanted to rest and pay the guy a few dollars to take the short drive over, her stinginess took over. It was hard to reason splurging money on silly things, and getting take out was already pushing it. Walking after hauling all these boxes and furniture up the stairs would easily ensure even someone as active as she was to be sore after a good night’s rest.

                   “I don’t think ‘yer parents woulda’ been too upset if they had caught us,” she remarked, remembered all those nights. They’d even been scolded by the employee once for being out so late at night. She had a feeling Seven’s parents always knew… they weren’t oblivious in the least, and she just assumed they always let them get away with it. She cared for her family like her own… but sometimes she felt they always tried too hard for them. They were too caring, too loving, and if the opportunity had arisen, Sice thought they would have called CPS and took them in themselves.

                   As grateful as she was for having them in their lives, she wouldn’t want that.

                   Brushing the negative thoughts from her mind, Sice finished digging out their dishes and headed into the living room. “Well, if we leave now, it’ll be ready by th’time we ge’ there.

                                                           “Ready?”

     Well, no one said it was going to be easy, but a little smile in return wouldn’t have hurt, would it? Despite the way Seven hid her face from his view, he kept on with the grin. If he allowed himself to drown in the thoughts of ‘what if’s’, it would surely bring them all down. 

     Nero was just hoping that Seven would follow his lead because after all, it takes two to tango.

     “Pepperoni it is then,” he agreed and began to dial the phone number on his phone. The male was just about to say how if they placed the order now, it would be ready by the time they arrived, but Sice had already beat him to it. Deciding to leave the two at the kitchen rather than following them, he stayed at the living room and placed the order. Pepperoni was probably the best option if they wanted to save money...

     Imagine that. Struggling with relationships and financial shit.

    But it’ll be alright. The white-haired male reminded himself and took another breath of air-- like he wasn’t getting enough already. If he were to breathe in even more, he might as well pass out now. “You two ready? We should probably get a move on.” Making his way to the door, Nero proceeded to put on his shoes and lace them up. Surely the other two would follow.

     All this talk of their past and what the three has been through together got some thoughts rolling. Were they really ready for this? Or am I thinking about it too much? Just yesterday Nero was holding Sice’s small hand before they crossed the street-- or beat bullies to a pulp if they picked on her (If she needed the help, of course.) Making sure that they survived made him grow up a little too fast, it seemed.

     Nero was sure to be a step ahead of her when they were kids, but now... Should he stand behind to make sure she would make it, if anything ever happened to him?

     And don’t even get him started on the silver-haired one. She was just as important, but for some reason Nero couldn’t let himself think past the ‘what if’s’, even though he told himself not to go back to those thoughts in the first place.

                     Oh, for God’s sake - She couldn’t help but easily notice her brother’s gaze practically glued to their friend, her own shooting a murderous look at him in response. She knew something was up with him, and it had to be something related to his { hopefully soon to be ex } girlfriend. She was done pressing Seven, and her brother was harder to crack than anyone she knew. Not that she wanted to harass him about his situation, taking note of it well enough in his expressions as days passed. 

                    She wondered if it had something to do with why she wasn’t around helping them with the whole move, not that she would give her enough credit.

                    “What do I need?” She questioned him, eyebrow raised quizzically. Her hand came to pull at his ear, voice nothing but a whisper against it. “Keep ‘yer eyes off the prize, an’ I’ll think about it.” She was incredibly aware, now, that something had clicked with him. The question was, what? She shoved him, lightly, as she went off to sort through the kitchen boxes like Seven had suggested. 

                    “The pizza place. Down the street.” An attempt to elude Seven from her actual statement at her brother, hoping she would take the bait of her giving him shit when they had yelled for pizza while he was dozing off. “Pepperoni ‘fer me!” An afterthought as she dug out a few plates to wash off for the night.

                    It wasn’t that she hadn’t thought about it. Well, wouldn’t it be ideal? Your best friend and your brother, especially when you cared for him as much as she did. But something about it bothered her, and she just couldn’t place it. As much as she wanted it, something held her back. Maybe she just wasn’t ready to see something so jeopardizing come to fruition. She loved them both, but if anything happened… if they had a falling out…

                    …Where would that leave her?

     The sudden yank of his ear caught Nero off guard. Arms tightened around the boxes that he carried because he almost dropped them at his sibling’s words. Teeth was grit, eyes were wide, and his face flushed a very noticable red.

     Which deity should he thank because Seven couldn’t see his dilemma or hear what his sister had said to him?

     Sice knew.

     A sharp sigh escaped his lips when he was released from the borderline death grip at his ear, but even that didn’t grant him any relief– even when it should. This just changes the whole game. The younger one and Seven knew damn well that he wasn’t available for that kind of relationship– he was already in one.

     Which leads to a bigger question: Is he happy to be in it?

     “Tch.” Nero huffed when the other began to practically sing about pizza like nothing just happened a second ago. “Yeah, I got it.” he gave a proper reply with his eyes glued to the box of his things and stayed like that for a few minutes. Once Sice left to get the plates set up, Nero turned his body to face the silver-haired female. “What d’ya want?”

     He placed the box down and reached into his pockets for his phone. It was best to keep it as casual with Seven– not like he really had a choice. The amount of mental strength it took to somewhat avoid her after the incident that occurred a long time ago was exhausting. A small grin was on his lips and he waved the cellular device. “It’s my treat.” For now, he’ll let himself relax.

     Be like how they were a long time ago. For their sake, and for Sice’s.