i think everyone in the whole world forgot that mystery doesn’t have to equal crime
sometimes it’s just like. what happent ?
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i think everyone in the whole world forgot that mystery doesn’t have to equal crime
sometimes it’s just like. what happent ?

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Will you be seeing red after taking this quiz?
I can only read “dogs” and only see anything in one other. I see nothing in any other.
8/10 but fuck, OW.
8/10 also!
nobody else doing it like me. particularly because the way i’m doing it is needlessly difficult
i skink therefore i scram...!
you've heard of nicknames and nicholasnames. now, get ready for what i've been calling reagan names. where you take a bastardization of a name and keep going. tip: you need to be very stupid to think this is funny
examples:
max -> maximilian -> mr million
conrad -> connie -> confirmation bias -> propaganda -> the proper gander
rolan -> rolan vehicle -> grand theft auto -> san andreas -> andy -> supermandy -> the superbowl

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this was submitted as a one sentence horror story, but it feels like it could be an old jewish joke, like the one about the two rabbis proving g-d doesn't exist or the saying 'people plan, g-d laughs'
This is a thousand times better as a dry Jewish joke than it is as a fake-deep edgelord ‘horror’ story
Even more, it sounds like the beginning -- the set-up -- of the joke. Can’t you hear Carl Reiner opening a bit with this line, or Shalom Aleichem using it to kick off a story?
Well I'm not quite an old Jewish man just yet, but let me give it a shot...
Losing confidence in Himself, G-d became an atheist. He decided to go down to Earth, to walk among humans and see how they found meaning.
He wandered the world until he came to a town, where he happened upon a pastor. "Come to our church this Sunday!" said the pastor. But G-d shook his head. "I don't believe in G-d anymore," he told the pastor sullenly. "And besides, I really shouldn't be working weekends." . . .
hey captain-acab, this is the highest compliment i can bestow: it would not have surprised me had i found that story in a book of traditional fables in the shul library
Look, someone has to be the first to make up any traditional Jewish story, why not @captain-acab? If we all keep telling it, then in a generation or two it'll be traditional.
and it's bonkers like I know people out there do exist who are like "I take my stimulants on work days only for Work Productivity Tasks" but I have never encountered them and I cannot begin to imagine how they live because everyone I know who takes stimulants is like "yaaaay my I can vacuum the carpet now pills 💜💜💜"
PDF FILES - Luna the Crow Sewing Case - Raven keepsake Pattern by TheWishingShed

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bigs my eyes
bigs my eyes at you
bigs my beautious my gorgeous eyeballs
Very good, thank you
He is. Going places.
This is an anti-despair checkpoint! You must share something you're looking forward to before scrolling on.
age regressing by 5 minutes so i can remember what i was just asked to do

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god damn this is a QUILT ('late day shadows' by nancy messier)
THIS IS A QUILT?!?!?!?
“The employees need a larger salary” “hmmmm large celery”