this isnt a horror house, it's a horror home

i need to perma-explode. forever.

Yeah I saw the lovecraftian horrors and didn’t succumb to madness. What- no I’m not a cultist, James. For Christ’s sake. What you’re forgetting my friend is that HP Lovecraft wasn’t a flexible man. His brain simply wasn’t stretchy enough to take it all in. I however, have short term memory issues. Flexibility is the name of the game when you can’t remember if you ate lunch or not. What’s the size of the universe? Big. You knew that already, James. Come on now. You don’t need to witness the terrifying ocean at the base of the entirety of reality itself to know that. Pass the brandy.

You must imagine the character I’ve created here wearing a suit and a monocle, by the way.

he’s going to have a dickens of a time explaining how he met his new wife to aunt agatha

“Bertie, you’re talking nonsense. Again. Still, you’re married, so the details don’t matter. No, I don’t care, no one cares, don’t ruin dinner by trying to explain. There’s a good boy.”

Making it against the rules to grow a beard and then mandating "high testosterone" in the military is a fucking hilarious thing to do.

telecom service providers in india are getting orders from government to shutdown our internet. they might also mass delete the posts and videos online. i know this is not the content you followed me for but please raise voice for the people in india if you can. if you find any posts about the brutality that the police inflicted upon protesters, people seeking legal or medical attention, people needing donation for sanitary pads, food, water, masks, etc. on twitter or instagram, please share it. it's my humble request. this is our last day. they're applying emergency alerts and new rules from tomorrow but today we are standing here in rain raising our voices and we will continue to do so.

i don’t understand how anything works i just walk through life terrified

The tumblrest sentence I have ever seen

yknow,,…. i’m actually immortal and can’t die ever….. *gets really shy* i mean i am pervious to death and such and have died many times before *gets even shyer* i mean. um. umm. i. um. well. um. *gets mayfly* *(the insect)* i’m mayfly