Roses Bloom In Greenland Because Men Are The Worst

Seriously, they were, Everybody in the Rebel Alliance had to be fucking bonkers. Here’s the evidence - 

Kanan: Taunted a GOD into smiting Thrawn’s fleet. Said god tried to smite him too but didn’t blow up the Ghost.

Ezra: Decided that way to get the rest of the fleet and Thrawn himself out of the Rebellion’s way was to call space whales and launch the ships (with Ezra onboard too!) into who-fucking-knows, or, as the officials call it, the Unknown Regions. 

Luke: The first time he flew in space was to destroy the Death Star. He did it WITHOUT his targeting computer. Then he decided that his genocidal father could be a good guy and help him--and was right!

Han: Accidentally ruined the life, reputation, and career of the best bounty hunter in the galaxy, aka Boba Fett, while half-blind and disoriented after 2-3 years in carbonite.

It makes me so angry when people post or joke about how people really should have seen the GIGANTIC FLAW in the Death Star plans that Galen Erso put in there. 

It really undermines the desperation and sacrifice that the characterized the Rebellion in going after it.

It was a small exhaust port that linked into the main reactors, something necessary if you don’t want the whole moon-sized base to explode from building pressure. It was tiny, only meters wide on a moon-sized base, guarded by an entire fleet of TIEs, the hundreds, if not thousands, of guns on the Death Star, and the Death Star’s own planet-destroying weapon. 

The Rebellion went against all of that with only squadrons of small X-wing fighters. Of course, small means harder to hit, but it also means less firepower, but they didn’t need firepower. All they needed was one shot to the exhaust port to make the main reactor blow and cause a chain reaction to take out the whole base. One shot, to that tiny, heavily guarded spot. 

And to get it, in a desperate, suicidal gamble they staked their hopes and dreams of the future, a peaceful, democratic future, on--to get it, they sacrificed whole squadrons of pilots against the better trained, better outfitted force that far, far outnumbered and outgunned them. 

It was a one-in-a-billion chance that someone could hit that meters-wide target while dodging fire and going who knows how fast along the well guarded canyon-like exterior. It would be like shooting rats in a barrel--and that is how it was. 

So many Rebels died in their reckless, desperate gamble. 

But they won.

Luke was the only one to get close to the exhaust port undamaged--he was that one-in-a-billion shot. 

The Kaiju, as the Earthlings called them, were a known problem. They broke through the dimensional barriers in several worlds. All of those planets had to be evacuated in order for the people on them to survive--all but one. Why would only one world survive these beasts? Because the humans did what no one ever thought to do. 

They fought back. They fought back against impossible odds in ways that the rest of the universe would never have dreamed of. 

And, even more impossible, they won.

Alien: how did you win against the Kaiju?

My favorite Ghost Rider panel. Our boy just looks like he just had a final exam he didn’t study for.

Captain Marvel must know some outrageous things, I mean the Champion is 3000 years old and has the knowledge of the gods, and of Billy Batson, a homeless ten year old.

So, like, interactions like this must occur sometimes:

Batman: We need someone who can translate these cuneiform runes on this ancient tablet

Captain Marvel: Oh, is that Gilgamesh's diary? I can already tell you what's in that. I have a copy.

Or:

Aquaman: What the fuck is a himbo? Is it an insult?