arrested development, season one ( part one )
βΒ it just makes me want to set myself on fire.Β β
βΒ a trick is something a whore does for money β¦ or candy.Β β
βΒ yes, this is my family. so, why am i so happy? because iβve decided to never speak to these people again.Β β
βΒ i wonder how i can talk you out of ever making that face again.Β β
βΒ we just go in β¦ a month ago.Β β
βΒ what an adventure, gang.Β β
βΒ youβre putting [NAME] in charge? the one who thought that the blue on the map was land?Β β
βΒ let me ask you. are you all concerned about an uprising?Β β
βΒ you guys are so smart.Β β
βΒ so, no hard feelings. adios. sayonara. iβll see you when the first parent dies.Β β
βΒ they cannot arrest a husband and wife for the same crime.Β β
βΒ i got the worst fucking attorneys.Β β
βΒ what are you doing? are you trying to cry? seriously, youβre gonna pull a muscle.Β β
βΒ weβre an incredibly disappointing family. but we are a family.Β β
βΒ i am having a love affair with this ice cream sandwich.Β β
βΒ you just made a fool out of yourself in front of t-bone.Β β
βΒ i donβt know what i expected.Β β
βΒ you know how much rejection i face every day?Β β
βΒ i canβt tell you how many health codes youβre violating right now.Β β
βΒ would you like to try that a little simpler, maybe?Β β
βΒ itβs fine. theyβre an arsonist, not an embezzler.Β β
βΒ theyβre grown-ups. theyβre allowed to have fun whenever they want. weβre kids. weβre supposed to be working.Β β
βΒ no. i donβt wanna be in charge. but iβd like to be asked.Β β
βΒ you think itβs irresponsible? iβll be right there.Β β
βΒ why are you calling me? what do you need?Β β
βΒ is this a business decision? or is it personal?Β βcause if itβs business, iβll go away happily. but if itβs personal β¦ iβll go away, but i wonβt be happy.Β Β β
βΒ wow, weβre just blowing through nap time, arenβt we?Β β
βΒ theyβre the last person i ever want to need something from.Β β
βΒ itβs gonna be a huge disaster. iβll get you tickets.Β β
βΒ i just havenβt met anybody whoβs not self-absorbed and impossible to have a conversation with.Β β
βΒ if thatβs a veiled criticism about me, i wonβt hear it and i wonβt respond to it.Β β
βΒ i, too, have an announcement to make.Β β
βΒ you are so deliciously witty.Β β
βΒ thatβs why you never get out of the tree.Β β
βΒ has your hair always been that pointy?Β β
βΒ you know, you gotta put family first. thatβs the stupid thing that i believe.Β β
βΒ iβve made a huge mistake.Β β
βΒ they think youβre full of shit.Β β
βΒ i mean itβs one banana. what could it cost? ten dollars?Β β
βΒ youβre gonna break into the permit office? sweet, can i come?Β β
βΒ take it back. if i wanted something your thumb touched, iβd eat the inside of your ear.Β β
βΒ i donβt care. and iβm not sayingΒ βi donβt careβ like those people who say they donβt care when they really do care βcause i really donβt care.Β β
βΒ i donβt wanna go to prison. i donβt think i could take it. i mean, i know i act tough but β¦Β β
βΒ they do allow some nervous crying but you can tell they donβt like it.Β β
βΒ where is all this coming from? i thought we were getting along.Β β
βΒ i shall duck behind the couch.Β β
βΒ there is no god!Β β
βΒ no one is going to portugal, you idiot!Β β
βΒ you know what? i think, you and i ought to spend more time together. itβll drive them crazy.Β β
βΒ youβre my third least favourite person.Β β
βΒ iβm foolish and iβm funny and iβm needy. am i needy? are you sure iβm not needy?Β βcause i feel needy sometimes.Β β
βΒ youβre a good person. you always do things for others. youβre the only one holding this group together.Β β
βΒ i feel confident. iβm feeling proud even. for the first time in my life.Β β
βΒ rest up, sweetie. you gave me quite a scare.Β β
βΒ i didnβt feel a thing. you know, iβm crazy about this aspirin. canβt believe we give it to children.Β β
βΒ i just jumped through a plate glass window on a date.Β β
βΒ you and i were getting along so well. i was thinking so highly of you. how could you make me think this was all my fault?Β β
βΒ stop lying. stop manipulating. just be nicer.Β β