Happily Never After

Got a (almost) new glasses. The last frame I had were lovely and I felt a bit mature wearing them, problem is, it was too loose for my face. The stem of the frame was a bit longer. Whenever I have to tie my shoes or look down, they would easily fall off my face. So, I looked for a frame that’s close enough to the size of what I had and had my lenses transplanted onto them.

I haven’t photographed my frame, but the one I got has an anti-slip technology where the stems bends on the ears, it’s so funny after dealing with a loose frame for a year.

After getting a new frame, since I left a bit late, I got some sweets than dinner as I was still full. I got my mom her usual Coco Milktea (panda milktea with no ice, 0 sugar, and salty cream on top). I think I got her milktea last June, we joke about her sugar level, but really it’s more of a carbs thing than beverages.

Kaya love na love ko yung mom ko, kahit sabi ng mga kapatid niya na kinukunsinte niya ko, I’m able to live my best life and express myself freely. From my hair colors, hairstyles, and now my piercings. May mga limitations pa rin naman and may pasaway moments ako, but still all the respect to my mom.

I wanted to try getting an Auricle and even a Septum piercing. Anyways, sobrang naangasan ako sa Septum talaga kaso baka itakwil na ko ng nanay ko pag ginulat ko siya ng ganon. Tsaka medyo visual altering na siya. Alam ko madadala ko naman siya as a goth, emo, and punk kid at heart.

Auricle? I researched na cartilage na tatamaan niya eh. Sobrang tagal ko nagpaheal ng helix ko and minsan bitchesa pa rin siya. Tapos ironically I like sleeping on my left side pa. Maybe some other day I’ll take on a cartilage piercing once more.

Gusto ko lang talagang may maramdaman so I went for a basic and easy route of lobe piercings. I got my third one on the left and a dainty cute upper lobe earring on my right. Sobrang buhay na buhay ako ngayon, like my kind of adrenaline. Ayun din naging thought ko noon na pagsabayin ang both lobes and helix ko. Ngayon budget na nagpapatigil sakin. Sksksk.

After getting pierced I met with my mom na jusko ngayon lang lumabas ng bahay para sa meeting niya sa coop nila. Like, gulat ako naman siya wow she is alive, alert, awake, and enthusiastic. Sobrang amazed ako sa mom ko talaga for being this strong, pero baka nabuburyo na rin yon sa bahay.

Anyways, inabot kami ng like 1 hour sa Uniqlo kakatingin niya ng mga clothing piece na ipangsisimba niya. Tapos siya pa nagsusungit na gutom na at sinasabi sakin mag follow up ng order namin. Anyways, pagbigyan talaga ang bagong labas.

POV: Hotdog sa freezer. I really love the cold weather, I’m just not fond kapag masyado nang overwhelming and nakaka sensory overload yung lakas ng ulan kapag nasa bahay ako or apartment.

Usual suspect na makasama ko talaga manager ko on a Monday evening, thankfully may dalawa pa kong kateam na nag RTO tonight.

Tonight was also my Q2 connect with my manager and I really had no audacity or fire in me to highlight any pain point because I’ve been gone for quite a while, my dad’s passing, my mom’s minor operation. I really am honestly worried how this would reflect on me, since I really did not wish for any of this.

Amazingly, my manager showed grace tonight and kindness, which I highlighted and emphasized for the longest time. I appreciated that. I might just increase my survey scoring for him next time. We’ll see.

I was really dreading about my stats and he really did not push any agenda tonight, aside from the request for a higher survey rating whenever that is.

He gets on my nerves some days, pero I can see where he comes from. If pina practice lang niya ang ganitong kindness kapag busy season namin kesa gisahin ang kateam ko, he might get a better score from everyone.

Honestly, I feel kind of lonely and indifferent, aside sa miss ko na Itzy, miss ko na din sina Michael at Frey. Masaya din naman at kalog makausap ang new hire namin, sadyang nasa point din ako ng life ko ulit na wala na akong nilolook forward nanaman.

Instead na mag compare, I think, I’ll choose gratitude and gratefulness muna on where I am right now, while feeling lonely and indifferent. I can have contradicting feelings and they are all valid.

Table for one on a cold rainy day. Definitely felt the tiredness in my body about yesterday, even if I wasn’t in the VIP standing section.

It’s been raining a lot lately. As much as I am fond of not overheating and being able to enjoy warm hearty meals or soup dishes, I still don’t enjoy getting soaked in the rain.

Anyways, took myself out because might as well enjoy the cold weather with a bowl of ramen from Kawa Ramen. I might be having a Mandaluyong effect, but I’m pretty sure they increased their price a lot since I last ate here. Still, I’m here to treat myself today.

Not pictured though was the cornetto I had at Uptown’s 7-11. Odd craving of sweetness after an umami meal.

Don’t get me started with Muji’s matcha. It’s not for the faint of heart. Their matcha is like the one used when you’re dipping your ice cream in a syrup. That sweet. I just needed a place to hang as well.

I stayed like near the mall’s closing because I was waiting for Sbarro to post their 50% off. Like I learned this life hack from my Frey, my teammate, and it has altered my greed for pizza. Nothing to write off with Sbarro’s pizza. But imagine getting two slices for the price of one or getting one at around 80 pesos. The foods are still fresh, I just assume that they’ll dispose of those that aren’t sold, what a shameful capitalist move if proven true.

Unfortunately as I was going home the rain decided to pour a little harder, but I got home at least just a tad bit wet. Still, the weather has been a bit nicer to me, like it didn’t go pouring hard yesterday when I was on my way to the concert.

Still on cloud nine seeing my girls for 6th time in my entire life (yes this includes concerts, fanmeet, and presscon).

Everything worked out and I’m able to enjoy the concert. I even got upgraded to a lower seat nearer to the stage. Like holy shit, I was close to the girls back in 2024, but this seat is also to die for.

Trust that I have a lots of fancams and videos that includes me screaming on top of my lungs and singing so loud. I will spare the people here of my voice. (But holy shit, I apparently can scream loud).

Trust that the girls heard me and said wow, great voice and energy (delulu who?). Really, the energy has never been more loud and high as Lia’s back after a hiatus during their 2nd world tour.

What I also loved about attending this event is meeting fellow midzy’s hyping each other up for the concert, the freebies culture, and reconnecting with friends met through the fandom. Funnily, I spent the entire day with a midzy I met at the VIP section last 2024 and we were in the same row without planning where we’ll seat. I also even was with my coworker as well, I work collaboratively with her boyfriend at work as well. What a small world.

I also had dinner with my OG midzy friend group since 2022. Can’t believe it’s been that long since I started getting into kpop in 2021. That Wannabe shoulder dance really altered my brain chemistry and Ryujin’s blue hair there sold me.

My ears are still ringing and I am still full of energy, I hope my PCD doesn’t kick in soon. Imagine having the best night of your life and later you’ll be back in your normal and mundane life. All the more that makes these concerts special.

By this point, hopefully we’re discharged and home.

Lately in life, I am tested to a point where I could really crash out in terms of my faith and belief. Still, I am imperfect, flawed, and would be dead in a ditch if you ask my life verse or anything bible related.

Anyways, try this. On May I lost my dad. The weekend supposedly that my mom was coming to my dad’s wake, she messages me that she’s in pain with her stomach around the kidney area. Alas, doctor’s report it’s UTI. I said let’s get you checked up and have two opinions. First doctor accredited by my HMO says she’s got a cyst and nothing major. Second doctor says it’s already big and needs surgery or kidney aspiration. If the universe or God is sending me signs for not remembering my life verse or going to church, this might just be it.

Fast forward, di ko na rin shinare talaga to, even with my super close hometown friends. Pero nagpapacheck up mom ko and schedule ng operation dito sa provincial hospital namin sa Bataan.

So heto na kami on a Friday. I feel really shitty because I have to balance my life, working at Thursday evening and couldn’t be at the hospital on Friday afternoon for my mom’s surgery dahil tulog pa ko and I asked my tita to look after her.

Imagine na Russian roulette ang pwede kong marinig na news as my mom has a history na di agad nagigising sa anesthesia.

At that point, I prayed to God, thy will be done. I could beg and cry, but nasa defeatist point talaga ko na everything happens for a reason, pero of course, sabi ko talaga, jusko naman po lord na isa na lang magulang ko, wag naman sana talaga.

Happy to say and share na by the time I’m posting this okay na ang mom ko and she’s recovering, may pain pa sa tusok sa likod, but alive, awake, and kung pinakain ko na daw ba si Coffee. I knew then, she’ll be recovering well.

Hindi ko alam if fun or scary fact to. The night before pa ang surgery ng mom ko, yung kashare niya ng room na isa na diabetic na naputulan ng paa, ayun tinry irevive sa room nila. Imagine the scary uncertainty of life. Yung patient is 70+ year old na daw si lola and nakaidlip lang bantay niya tapos nawala na.

So, me, tatlong oras pa lang natutulog ko and doon ako humiga malapit kay lola na namayapa. I guess, it’ll come when it’ll come. I’m still working on my dad’s passing and natanggap ko if di siya nagparamdam sakin, maybe there are things better left unsaid or maybe one day when ready na siya.

Tapos now by around July 04, nilipat kami ng room kasi may audit whatnot pa raw yung rooms. Okay lang din naman itong nalipatan namin, medyo less crowded.

Ang na encounter ko na lang ay itong katapat namin na medyo madaldal na mommy. Dama kong may boka siya and either magiging dds o bbm to. Well, di pa ko sure, ang naging takeaway ko na lang ay Baptist o Christian siya and once nalaman niya religion ko, naging religious talks na lang.

Ang medyo naging pet peeve ko from talking about career to medyo biruan na career oriented na ang generation ko at di na mag aanak o jowa, ay yung pov niya na malapit na daw ang paghuhukom at may signs na. Heto nanaman tayo sa repent and ang di mag acknowledge kay lord siguro ay di masasave. Well thankfully di niya inimply itong isa kong thought. Kasi nga pet peeve ko ang religious people thinking na saved na sila because they know God and active sila. Parang DDS mindset na rin na authoritarian baga.

Pero sige, end ko siya in a good note since di naman kami nakarating doon. Pinagdasal ako nitong ni mommy na katapat namin, knocked out asleep na si mom ko din naman. I really appreciated it, kahit may difference sa sector namin, since Christian based pa rin naman.

I think, it’s God’s way of saying, I’ll annoy you with religion and faith and make you meet people, but I will watch over you. Maybe, I’d like to adapt that belief. I keep to myself most of the time, pero itong si mommy na katapat namin maboka naman din. I did feel lightened by her prayer, never thought I needed it. I hope she recovers well, natanggalan siya ng appendix and palabas na rin naman.

Again, I’m flawed, imperfect, forgetful, and not much into the practice, but I know to respect a being above and everything sacred with religion. So I’m still thankful na okay na mom ko. She’s getting older, but I won’t be pressured to pursue things in life just because she’s getting older. The goal is be strong enough alone to care for her. If I have community, great. If not, I’ll pray for strength to carry the challenges.

Na parang mhie at dhie ang tawagan at nag third anniversary silang dalawa. Tapos may cake cutting pa na atake. Awa na lang ang Ruin The Friendship na theme.

Time flies when your mind flies, sabi nga nila, ano raw? Dogshow lang post ko, pero may isang manager dito na ang epal doon sa serious speech ko na, it wasn’t easy na journey. Goal ko sana maging inspirational biglang bumanter at sinabi sa manager ko, sabi ni Rome oh, ang hirap daw. (It’s always the older people at work, no? Hahaha)

But really, it’s been a roller coaster of a ride having an original team, being a secondary leader type of role without the pay, and then you’re in a new team. Healthy and supportive, but missing the old times as well. Pwede naman both na mamiss ang people and be in a healthy environment na rin culturally.

So much has happened in a span of three years, like legit nga ang, the days are long but the years are short. Sobrang daming nangyari sakin sa loob ng three years na yun pero parang pumikit at nagising lang ako.

Rich in life, experience, memories, love, and family.

A lot of stressful behind the scenes to get to here, but hey, a yacht ride at 26 nearing 27 was not in my bucket list or dreams turned to reality.

May I never forget that despite being alone in life, I have a community and extended family when things don’t go the way I wanted to.

Love is everywhere, even with its complexities and toxicity, love will persevere and be learned.

Short story, my cousins did an all out 60th birthday for my tita, managing to gather her friends, while my mom and I were for the umbrella surprise and lechon (not seen in the pic).

Despite all my smiles, I promise you, I went non verbal tonight, which is a rare occurrence.

My humor and love, love for the accidental happy pride theme today. Like, I asked, who thought of that. I said, today’s pride month and our family just IJBOL’d.

Went home to the province today as it was my tita’s (mom’s youngest sibling) 60th birthday.

There’s a lot of drama behind the scene tbh, like there’s a lot of things I dread the following week but that’s another story for another day. 🧿

Still, there’s a lot of drama, but not from us. I’m just my tita’s one and only nephew from her sister, so no choice but to be the favorite one. Also, no choice but to go out to dinner and work from there.

I’m thankful for the life of my mom’s family and also for moments like this. I don’t regret going out and the smol hassle of working outside as I spend time with my family. Thankfully it’s off peak so I’m only doing minor workloads.

First pic was at Lunico’s, I love this cafe back in 2023 and thankfully they are still in business, my ex and I (wow I finally can word on it) love this place as well and where we end up always for monthsaries and other events. Honestly, I’m looking at fond memories and another memory is added here.

Second was at Palpitate, they have other branches in Metro Manila, but hey, they’re like some of the few cafes here in Bataan that’s open till 1 AM. I used to be skeptic of them, but I’m impressed with their drinks and pastries for the price.

They have a pretty consistent coffee taste and good menu. Maybe SB level of consistency. I tried their Matcha for the first time as I usual go for their signature Palpitate Latte, and I’m impressed, it’s not all sugar nor was it bland. It had that thickness I was looking for (I made Viet coffee before going out so I ordered matcha, but still ended up sleeping at 10 AM after).

Probably should have gone with white instead of a blue undershirt for this one.

My younger self would be bemused if he starts to look at my closet. Not because of a drastic change, but more of a refinement. I still love my darker neutrals, but I’ve gone more with silhouette, fit, and minimalism.

My skinny and ripped jeans loving self with graphic tees would be confused as to why I have three black shirt but with different cuts and lengths.

I wouldn’t say I did a drastic haul either as it took me three years to figure out my current preference of clothing and I’m still open to change and evolution. Mostly, my lifestyle is performing as a productive Gen Z corporate analyst.

Probably the trendiest thing I’ve subscribed to recently is the boxy cropped silhouettes, maybe this’ll age fast soon, but definitely something opposite to my oversized shirt and tight jeans era then.

What I’m sure I’ll be keeping is my straight jeans, pleated pants, and curation of jackets and layers. I’m fond of tucking in my tops these days anyways. Which is another chest tightening idea for my younger self, tucking in a shirt, like that’s suppose to be for dad’s and uncles then.

Another refinement that I’m happy to pick up is jewelry. My younger Gshock loving self who’s lazy to read the time and uses a reliable digital watch would be scratching their head on why I have a lot of watches now. I mean, it took me a while, but aesthetics. I like how a watch looks on my wrist that isn’t oversized and tells heritage and story.

To add, I kind of fell in love with rings, I got used to how they feel on my fingers, especially when your work demands a lot of typing. It feels like an intimate moment between my fingers and keyboard and to the things I write, transcribe, revise, and edit.

Apparently exhaustion is a thing even if you had a fun night out.

I took the day off yesterday and filed for SL because I’ve been under the weather since the weekends and my apartment’s internet connection has been shitty as well. Sadly as an adult, I still had to go out and get my own medicine.

I’m still not 100% okay, but I don’t have the luxury to fully consume all my sick leaves yet because there is so many plot twist in my personal life that I can’t believe I’m going through all alone (obviously, no sibling or partner, so help me God because I can’t save myself at this point).

I put on this still sick, but have to still throw a fit kind of fit. Took this from my mom’s closet, not sure if it was hers or Dad’s, but dibs as it’s blue.