sleepness nights and sleepless days, pill bottles hidden in the glove box, skin marred with scars both old and new, deafening silence, crossing the yellow crime scene tape, another pot of coffee for another long night, the fallen son, missing persons fliers, a dog without a muzzle that bites and bites and bites.
❝ I'm not a hero. I don't do good, it's not in me. ❞
supply list: rope, duct tape and zip ties, pain pills and benzos, a few guns that definitely aren't in his name. the guy travels light and packs like a serial killer i don't know what to tell you.
Gender & Pronouns: Cis Male & He/Him
Sexuality: Questioning
Birthplace: Las Vegas
Room #: Apt. 303
Years at the Wexley: 0
roman was raised in the city of sin by a family that seemed to take the name a little too literally: drugs. jail. gangs. violence. there wasn’t much in the criminal underground that the drakes didn’t have their fingers in. the second youngest of six kids, roman was expected to do his part in the family business just as those before him had–but even as a kid roman had his doubts about the lifestyle; growing disoriented as family members came and went to county, their criminal records growing longer every year. he was twenty-three when he finally had enough of the bullshit. roman had known for a long time that his family weren’t good people, it just never occurred to him that he had the option to break the pattern.
becoming a cop hadn’t been his first idea, but at the time it was the biggest fuck you he could think of to send to his family. roman became more or less dead to the drakes, ex-communicated the moment he stepped foot into the police academy. he tried a few awkward attempts at reaching out to his sisters, but he never really knew birdie and mauve was busy trying to make a life of her own. eventually he took a page from mauve’s book, moving to california and starting a life of his own. marriage was hard, and having a kid on the way only made things harder. he took his job at cold cases seriously and made the wrong priorities in life; there are only so many long nights you can spend alone before you go looking for someone to fill the space left by an absent spouse. roman and delilah had been on the verge of ending things for a while, but the events that happened the night june was born ensured their relationship was over.
roman doesn’t remember the night in its entirety–only coming home to see his wife and a stranger in the midst of an argument, then flashes of a golf club swinging at him. when roman awoke in the hospital several days later he was terrified to learn just how much he’d lost in the attack: his marriage, his hearing, and quite possibly his daughter, who was now fighting for her life in the icu after being born months too early. the official report was attempted murder-suicide, a jealous lover who wanted to kill the woman who’d ended their affair. roman was devastated, knowing that he’d drove delilah away from him and nearly put her and their daughter into an early grave. they'd tried counseling. couples, individual, ptsd. fucking art therapy for a month--because he owed her that much. in the end they agreed there was no way to put the pieces of what they had back together. delilah would take june and go live with her parents, but roman could have shared custody if he promised not to get her hopes up of having a father in her life then ghosting. roman quit the force, went private. went dark. hurt people who hurt people, that kind of thing. he developed a reputation as someone willing to work outside the lines of the law and birdie was able to put him in contact with people who needed that kind of help.
he was in new york to meet with birdie and follow up on a new job when the city went into lockdown. he's taken up in an apartment on the lowest floor to keep an eye on things near the lobby, because he has a real bad feeling about how things are heading in the city.
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"Yeah... Lightheaded." In fact, she still felt that way, but the alarm in the faces of their little ones was enough to have her pushing a shaky smile through it. Thank goodness for him and his stoicism, the moment could have been so much more traumatic if his own steadfastness hadn't anchored her own.
Lifting arms out, with a small but encouraging nod, Charlie wrapped her little boy up into her arms, cradling his head on his shoulder and pressing a kiss just above his little ear. Still, careful not to breathe in his face in case it was something as dangerous as the flu. Eyes lifting to Roman, and then flicking to their daughter, she offered the little girl a smile and held out her free arm for her to join them in the cuddle.
"Come on, June. I think I need all of the hugs to help make me feel all strong again. I think maybe we were just having too much fun and I got overwhelmed."
Roman offered a nod of assurance to June. He kept an arm around Charlie and noted how her she still felt weak resting against him. He knew it may take a few minutes for her to come back to herself but his logic was unable to fully keep his worry at bay. Roman didn't like seeing the people he loved sick--there were too many memories of sleepless nights spent in the nicu.
The four of them embraced and Roman focused on the beauty of that moment. The people he loved were here and alive despite the odds. The safety and comfort of the township allowed their days to gradually be filled with laughter as the community felt at ease within their walls. It had been eight months since June had a nightmare. Things were good.
"You need to eat something," Roman spoke into her ear before placing a kiss on her cheek. He was going to check with Ruth about iron pills. He'd had the thought before but knew Charlie was likely to decline in case someone else needed it. "And you need to take an actual break." Because Charlie was incapable of not doing something for more than 10 minutes.
When: Before the wedding, but well after Aspen (😂)
Where: Working around the township
While Oscar never minded laborious work, in fact he preferred it, the tasks always taking his mind off of things at least for a little while, he didn't enjoy the quietly growing tension between himself and Roman. And he was pretty sure he knew exactly what it was all about. Ruth.
"Why don't we just go ahead and get it out in the open?" he asked as he secured a portion of fencing. "I already had the talk with Ash and figured I have it coming with you too. 'Hurt her and I'm a dead man walking' or something along those lines, am I right?"
They were friends. Roman and Ruth, that is. He wouldn't argue that his relationship with her held a candle to that of Ashton's, but a friend of any degree was allowed to have opinions. And maybe Roman hadn't tried very hard to keep his opinion about Ruth and Oscar's relationship to himself. He was a terrible gossip.
Roman knew his attitude had been off but he wasn't trying to be intentionally hostile. He was holding resentment towards a man who'd done nothing to deserve it. Roman had thought of Oscar as a decent guy and it wasn't fair to reassess that judgement just because he was dating Ruth. "I don't know about Ash but I have enough respect for us both that I don't think I need to give any talk."
"But if I'm wrong and you do need a talk," Roman pulled a hammer out of the tool belt he was wearing, the pair of them patching a few holes around the town's fence. It feels heavy in his hand. "Ruth is my family. And I don't fuck around with my family." He couldn't say where exactly she fit into that family but it was undeniable that she belonged there. He turns the hammer upside down and offers the handle to Oscar for him to add the nails.
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extremely good trope: injured character sees their own blood on someone else who's otherwise unscathed and gives a concerned "are you hurt?" double points if they're so injured they're barely lucid
He hesitantly nodded to Roman’s clarification, mind as if running back on memories of the past few months since they’ve gotten together, wondering if he missed any of the signs that he shouldn’t have missed. He would’ve felt like a terrible friend if he did. But in the answer in between the lines, Roman was right. They can be worried for her but they can’t butt into her life if it’s what she wants. “As long as it’s where she wants to be.” They could only support her from the sidelines and do what they can.
Ashton doesn’t admit it but the soreness of feeling like he was losing a part of his best friend was there, they hung out lesser now, outside of the council work they had to do and shared lunches at the hospital. Obviously this wasn’t a sole reason for it, there was so much work to do, there was the hospital, there was the scouts, there was Maisie, but it definitely contributed to it as well. ..such is life.
“When? Not if?” Ash raised an eyebrow to Roman, picking up on that semantic that he seemed so confident about, Ashton didn’t think too much into it for now, knowing any worrying won’t do anyone any good whatsoever. “But yeah, we’ll be right here for her, anytime.” In a different timeline before the world came crashing down, perhaps they could’ve been closer friends back then, rather than just by proxy of Ruth. Though it doesn’t change the fact that they definitely are much closer now with everything else that has happened.
They peacefully watched the girls tire themselves out from the frisbee as the daylight was running out, not willing to end the play time yet until they absolutely have to. Ash broke the silence for one more question, “you’ll tell me, right? If you ever notice it change?”
He wasn't sure if Ash was a lonely person but Roman couldn't fault him if he was. The business with Sada had seemed to harden him in some way that Roman didn't think was fixable. But maybe the real twist of the knife had been less about Sada and more about Jeremiah.
Roman doesn't look when he replies to the question with his own. "Will you really want to know?" It would hurt to see. Knowing that the choices he made contributed to it. Roman had learned about Ruth's feelings for Ashton long ago and he was confident Ashton had as well. They both left her in the rain.
"Do you think you could do me the same favor?" The question surprises him. But it's good to ask. "If you ever see something off with Charlie... if I mess up or she's unhappy.." Knowing Ashton and Charlie's relationship there was no doubt Ashton would side with Charlie through whatever problem may arise. Roman counted on it. He wanted Charlie to have the world even if for some reason he wasn't in it.
He looks at June and thinks of all the mistakes he made with Hannah. How much hurt can one man do to the world? It had to be enough. There had to be nothing left but love and courage inside of him.
And just like that Amelia knew all she needed to know about this man and his intentions, a smile crawling over her face as she gave a little chuckle and a waving of hands in surrender. "You misunderstand me, Roman." Though she couldn't help the hint of a chuckle in her tone, she could only hope it would add to his obvious feeling of offense.
"That's maybe the most adorable thing I've ever heard. All I meant... is that it's nice to get to see someone living their fairy tale. It's a beautifully romantic gesture to take her last name, to marry her even at the end of the world. To give her the family she's always dreamed of, even now. I commend you. It's not an easy thing, holding together a family isn't easy at the best of times. I listened to her talk about your for years, of all I came back to, outside of seeing everyone alive and well... seeing you two together and happy is the best surprise of all."
Giving a little bit a chuckle under her breath, she held out a stack of construction paper and pointed him toward one of the shelves she'd set up for art supplies. "To be honest, I wondered sometimes if you weren't just a customer she was infatuated with, but everyone else assured me you were very real, and infatuated back. Even then. Seems like everyone knew before you two."
Her description of his actions made Roman feel like a much younger version of himself. He wasn't sure what to do with that. "Okay, great. Happy to have your stamp of approval..." He tried not to sound sarcastic but he was still wary of her judgement. At least he apparently had the word of several others to back him up in his long-standing attachment to Charlie. No one could ever claim she was a passing fling or flirtation. "Yeah. People really like to gossip around here, don't they?" It was an observation Roman had made pretty quickly at arriving. Even now it felt like his personal life was a frequent topic of conversation to way too many people.
"I know way too much about my neighbors sex lives..." Roman joked.
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His words would be heeded, the space between herself and the aforementioned would be increased and policed, trusting his gut without much need, nor reason, for hesitation. His instincts had yet to be wrong. Speaking of. "What do you think of the new people?" They'd only just arrived, with none other than Amelia Ryder, though Charlie knew enough about her to not need to ask Roman.
Lashes fluttering down to feather along the apples of cheeks that still never failed to flush with colour when he'd look at her, touch her, so tenderly. Sometimes, Charlie almost though he looked at her with awe, but her own self-doubt always made her question it. Except, in times like these, when it was undeniable just by the explosion of still active butterflies along her diaphragm.
Arms hugging him even tighter as she closed her eyes and listened to his heart beat beneath her ear, the comforting weight of his chin on the crown of her head leaving her content in a way she'd never have expected was possible even before the world had fallen.
"There never was any other options. This is my happy place."
"I think they're dangerous," His head tilted thoughtfully to the side as he summed up his considerations of the newest members to their group. Roman's voice was soft in the quiet of their kitchen, aware of the two sleeping children in their home. It was a beautiful thing. "I don't know if it's just the kind of dangerous that it takes to survive out there or if it's something more sinister. " One was a lot more understanding point of view. Roman could sympathize with survival. The fact that he was even open to considering the former these days was a testament to the hope Charlie stirred in him. There had to still be good people out there. The world they brought their children into had to be bigger than this.
He's happy to hold her against him. To take in her warmth and be reminded of all the good he had in his life. There's been so much death and horror and Roman has done his best to keep the worst of it away from her. But he does his best to never outright lie to Charlie. That's the one promise he's always made.
"Best happy place I've ever had." He agrees with her. It was probably the only healthy version of a happy place Roman had ever had. It was certainly the least self-destructive version of himself, and that felt like the equivalent. Roman leaned forward to hover into her ear while his hand slipped to squeeze her butt. "Second best happy place." The innuendo that his favorite was between her legs.
He'd been worried about her since this morning, aware of the headache Charlie had been trying to push through. She wasn't as good at hiding it as she thought she was and if it wasn't for his selfish desire to have them all together in the sunlight maybe he would've called her out on it. Pushed the picnic back, made her sit and rest.
But he hadn't done any of that so instead he was frowning at the faraway look in her eyes before he felt her going slack in his arms. Roman was quick to hold her, supporting her against his chest with little effort. "Charlie?" He didn't want to scare the kids but his voice was loud with concern. A hand comes up to caress her face, feels for breath coming from her nose. "It's just the heat baby," Roman assures Charlie and June both as he brings Charlie down with him to kneel on the blanket. June has stopped dancing and Adam is whining at the sudden shift in mood.
By the time they're lowering down to the ground, Charlie was already starting to come around, head swimming as a deep shiver reverberated itself seemingly outward from inside of her in a way that flared up a tiny bit of panic in her. Enough to bring her around, though it was like trying to swim through the confusion at first.
"What happened?" Half gasping, half groaning the words as hands gripped hard for any part of his familiar strength she could get a hold of. Grounding herself as the world seemed to tilt around her. "The kids?!" That panic that had settled in her chest grew as she realized she had no idea where they were, not even sure how long she'd passed out for, only knowing they were no longer dancing, and she could hear Adam crying over the music.
Calming down the moment her hazy gaze fell on the sights of their kids, Charlie let herself sink into Roman as another shiver wracked her body. "I don't feel very good." For her to even admit it probably said enough about just how bad she truly felt.
The alarm that flared in her eyes as she came back around twisted his heart into knots. She was so protective of their children and willing to fight for them to her last breath; breath that was still too soft and shallow for Roman’s liking. He eased behind her so she could lean against him as they sat. His large hand started rubbing circles on her back like he was willing a stillborn kitten to take a breath. “Everyone’s okay baby, you just got lightheaded.” She seemed to calm as she took in the familiar surroundings and remembered where they had been before her fainting. Roman too was calm, despite the anxiety that had been building in his chest. Everyone’s okay.
June had been keeping Adam at bay but Roman gestured that it was okay to let him waddle over so she freed his small hand from hers. “Mommy’s alright. You can come sit with her.” Adams steps were that of a toddler just getting comfortable with his own two feet but he managed to make it to Charlie’s lap without falling.
Maybe June was too used to seeing her own mother having these spells because she waited quietly fidgeting with a ribbon that had once been in her hair ( she usually hated wearing them but liked to match Charlie if she had one in her own hair ). “We all just need to catch our breath.” Roman looked at June and tried to give a smile of assurance.
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You ever regret choosing Roman? Are you waiting for the other shoe to drop and him to leave again?
"Nope. Not for a moment. Sometimes I wonder if he regrets me, though. I don't think I could ever leave him, I've loved him from the first time he looked at me and saw me. Even when I thought it was just a girlish dream...
Maybe a tiny part of me is still waiting for him to leave again, but I know he'd never do that. Not to me, not to Adam. But I wonder if he thinks about it sometimes, wonders... what-if..."
"Henri?" Charlie steered clear of him in general, the memory of the conversation at the piano and in the diner, and other very much like them, enough to keep her at bay. He and Eloise could entertain each other, she'd long since decided that she needed no part in any of it. Especially with the apprehension that Roman had about the pair, his instincts were strong enough to confirm her own. "You don't got to worry about that. To be honest, that pair gives me the heebie jeebies."
Letting herself practically fall into his chest at even the slightest pull of his hands, Charlie smiled up at him, drinking in his face and every change over the years. The new lines, the new... "Is that a dash salt I see in that pepper?" Grin growing a hint more playful, she reached up to feather over one of the light strands to see if it was just a trick of the light. "Oh yeah, I just know this is going to be an amazing look for you."
Charlie was far too nice for her own safety. Despite the survival instinct she had sharpened over the years there were still moments Roman's heart leapt from his chest while watching her interact with the others. Trust given when it hadn't been earned, help offered when it could be taken advantage of. Maybe the one thing Roman hadn't considered was that his very watch over Charlie was what gave her the confidence to do these things ( knowing that her loyal protector was always there should the worst come to pass ). "They can be convincing." Is what he leaves it as.
He grins at her comment, unable to deny the evidence of time beginning to catch up to him. "It'll give me a chance." Roman's hand drifted to Charlie's face so he could stroke the outline of her mouth with the back of a finger. "Those laugh lines have pushed you even further out of my league." Evidence of a life lived well despite the horror they had both seen.
Roman's lips press against the top of her head before his chin rests against her. "Good thing you don't have a lot of other options."
