why cant I remember my childhood?
who would want to? I would have to remember the monster in my house who might take a notion to beat me in my bed while I lay sleeping or insult me every chance he got. the beast that tormented me my whole life until I was old enough to buy a gun to protect myself. the devil who taught my siblings that I was just a slave who was put on the earth to use and abuse and look down on. that I was not good enough to live in the same house as them and that I was the slave they had to do all the chores for free and that I was less than human and that I did not deserve to live. they believed that I was less than them and that they had the right to look down on me like cinderellas step sisters my whole life. and because everyone around me seemed to think they were better than me, I believed it too. I took the beatings and the persecutions because I had to. I did not have anyone I could count on and I did not deserve to be treated like a human. I carry the scars and nightmares of my childhood with me through life and will carry them to the grave, because no one ever seemed to be on my side. who would ever want to remember the nightmare that was my life?
