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my body is a machine that turns normal situations into psychological horror

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Orchids
at our weekly allstaff meeting at work we always do an icebreaker question. today it was just tell us your hobby. that was the question. and i watched my coworker next to me go into chatgpt and ask it "hobbies." am i working with fake people am i being truman showed what the fuck is going on in here

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It isnât unusual to hear the sentiment that Shinra does not care about Izaya. While itâs undeniable that there is an imbalance in Izaya and Shinraâs relationship, that does not mean that Shinra does not care about Izaya.
The hospital phone call scene is among Shinraâs coldest moments over the course of his relationship with Izaya. Thereâs no denying that Shinra was acting extremely callous here, but the context is important. Shinra was on vacation and had received multiple phone calls before Izaya. When Shinra picks up, Izaya doesn't take his own state seriously and tells Shinra he simply called because he was bored. It could be argued that with how well Shinra understands Izaya, he couldâve figured that this would have bothered him, but Izaya does not help his own case. After Shinra hangs up, Izaya doubles down and has the cops call Shinra. Upon further reflection, Shinra regrets how he treated Izaya and even considers his own injuries to be karma for how he acted.
Shinra defends Izaya to both Shizuo and Celty. Shizuo, who despises Izaya, and Celty, around whom Shinraâs entire world revolves. Celty does not like Izaya, but Shinra still speaks about him fairly. He also keeps the fact that Izaya wasnât the one who stabbed him a secret, even though he had protected Izaya to impress Celty in the first place. He had gotten stabbed protecting this kid and still keeps up his lie. Even after Izayaâs disappearance, Shinra defends Izaya further: âIt doesnât mean he is a villain⌠Itâs not like he does it with bad intent.â There is really no benefit to Shinra defending Izaya, especially for those who do not like him, yet he does so multiple times.
Additionally, Shinra is the driving force in their relationship. Shinra is the entire reason the friendship exists. Nearly every interaction between the two is initiated by Shinra. Shinra seeks Izaya out and repeatedly extends invitations to him: befriending him in the first place, finding him on the rooftop in high school, inviting him to the coming-of-age ceremony, and going to his apartment to complain. Izaya is only shown initiating on rare occasions, such as interrupting conversations between Shizuo and Shinra. Izaya is bothered that Shinra does not prioritize him, but it isnât as if he is reaching out.
Regardless, the only time that Izaya âsmiles with an honest expressionâ is when he is with Shinra. In other words, their relationship is benefic in some ways. That isnât to say their relationship is without issue; they are clearly lacking in the communication department, but their friendship is not wholly one-sided or negative. Of course, Celty will always be his number one, but that does not mean he does not care about Izaya. Izaya can be pretty terrible, and he himself is not a good friend. There is no real benefit for Shinra to remain friends with him for as long as he has, unless he wants to; unless he likes having Izaya as a friend.
I wrote this right before I went to bed, so I forgot some details. Here is an addendum:
Regarding Izaya being a bad friend, I touched on the fact that, despite his feelings of being overlooked, we do not really see him initiating. He interrupts conversations between Shinra and Shizuo, causing conflict. There are also several scenes of Izaya trying to split apart Shizuo and Shinra as friends, even going as far as to try to involve Shinra's half-sister in a scheme.
These behaviors are not conducive to a healthy friendship. Izaya's actions are counterproductive to his wants. The reason Shinra being a bad friend is discussed so frequently is because Izaya is hurt by his actions and vocalizes it. That doesn't mean he himself is a good friend. I bring this up because it is often framed like Shinra is just a terrible friend to Izaya, when that really isn't the case. Neither of them is a particularly good friend to the other, which comes as no surprise, since neither of them is a particularly good or empathetic person.
That isn't to say that the relationship is wholly unhealthy. As mentioned above, the only time that Izaya âsmiles with an honest expressionâ is when he is with Shinra. He is Izaya's only actual friend. While Shinra's circle is marginally larger, he isn't exactly a social butterfly.
Shinra has remained friends with Izaya for over a decade. This is long past the point of becoming friends with Izaya to impress Celty all those years ago. Clearly, the relationship is serving him in some ways. This is made even more evident when you consider that Izaya is not a good friend. What is the point of staying friends with somebody who is not a good person, not a good friend, and brings trouble wherever he goes? Remaining friends with him for so long indicates some level of attachment.
It isnât unusual to hear the sentiment that Shinra does not care about Izaya. While itâs undeniable that there is an imbalance in Izaya and Shinraâs relationship, that does not mean that Shinra does not care about Izaya.
The hospital phone call scene is among Shinraâs coldest moments over the course of his relationship with Izaya. Thereâs no denying that Shinra was acting extremely callous here, but the context is important. Shinra was on vacation and had received multiple phone calls before Izaya. When Shinra picks up, Izaya doesn't take his own state seriously and tells Shinra he simply called because he was bored. It could be argued that with how well Shinra understands Izaya, he couldâve figured that this would have bothered him, but Izaya does not help his own case. After Shinra hangs up, Izaya doubles down and has the cops call Shinra. Upon further reflection, Shinra regrets how he treated Izaya and even considers his own injuries to be karma for how he acted.
Shinra defends Izaya to both Shizuo and Celty. Shizuo, who despises Izaya, and Celty, around whom Shinraâs entire world revolves. Celty does not like Izaya, but Shinra still speaks about him fairly. He also keeps the fact that Izaya wasnât the one who stabbed him a secret, even though he had protected Izaya to impress Celty in the first place. He had gotten stabbed protecting this kid and still keeps up his lie. Even after Izayaâs disappearance, Shinra defends Izaya further: âIt doesnât mean he is a villain⌠Itâs not like he does it with bad intent.â There is really no benefit to Shinra defending Izaya, especially for those who do not like him, yet he does so multiple times.
Additionally, Shinra is the driving force in their relationship. Shinra is the entire reason the friendship exists. Nearly every interaction between the two is initiated by Shinra. Shinra seeks Izaya out and repeatedly extends invitations to him: befriending him in the first place, finding him on the rooftop in high school, inviting him to the coming-of-age ceremony, and going to his apartment to complain. Izaya is only shown initiating on rare occasions, such as interrupting conversations between Shizuo and Shinra. Izaya is bothered that Shinra does not prioritize him, but it isnât as if he is reaching out.
Regardless, the only time that Izaya âsmiles with an honest expressionâ is when he is with Shinra. In other words, their relationship is benefic in some ways. That isnât to say their relationship is without issue; they are clearly lacking in the communication department, but their friendship is not wholly one-sided or negative. Of course, Celty will always be his number one, but that does not mean he does not care about Izaya. Izaya can be pretty terrible, and he himself is not a good friend. There is no real benefit for Shinra to remain friends with him for as long as he has, unless he wants to; unless he likes having Izaya as a friend.
an izaya I'm too lazy to clean up
I'm doing @yuriolympics this year as well...! starting off with a quick illustration for throwback mini round 1, prompt was "trying on something her partner picked out for her"
Symbiotic relationship
i've been thinking a lot about anri and mika's relationship and how it's symbiotic even though anri claims to be parasiting mika but in fact mika is also using anri. mika is portrayed as a girl who knows what she wants, she's a natural leader of the group and she strives to be different from others and attract everyone's attention and it's necessary for her to have people who are always at her back and, basically, sucking her ass and that was the reason why she helped anri when she was bullied in elementary school. it was primarily her interest to show herself as a "good, courageous girl," but in fact, mika herself didn't really care about anri, even though she dragged her along. mika and anri both use each other to cover their needs. anri allowed herself to rely on mika and used her as a pillar for her personality support and safety because all her life she was used to the lack of her own autonomy due to a traumatic childhood and dissociation as a result of all these events, for mika, anri was the one compared to whom she also stood out better than the rest of her friends("because anri is so boring and quiet but mika is such an outgoing funny and smart girl, I'd definitely choose to hang out with her" some type of shit). this communication also covered their need for an imaginary self-esteem boost, because both anri and mika thought about each other in such a way like "she's kinda weird but i'm better than her." but even so, this relationship work to their advantage because they remained happy with each other and continued this long friendship, and for mika, anri is just as important as seiji, even though mika makes seiji the "center of her life" and puts him in priority (because in fact she doesn't need him as much as seiji himself needs her and "her head"). but in the end, mika and anri show sincere love and affection for each other, even despite all of the points made above.
for this picture, i came up with the idea to show a comparison of their relationship with a clown fish and their use of sea anemones, since sea anemones protect these fish from predators, which in turn are poisonous and they use this place as their home. for anemones, this symbiosis is useful because fish clean them of waste and parasitic fish

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The ninth light novelâs core focus is on the perception versus reality of Izaya Orihara. Before this point in the novels, there are a lot of questions floating around about Izaya. The reader is provided with little information regarding Izayaâs backstory or motivations for why he acts the way he does. This volume offers an explanation for why Izaya turned out like he did, all while deliberately juxtaposing the perceived Izaya with the real Izaya.
The perception of Izaya is primarily revealed to the reader through dialogue with other characters. At this point in the story, Izaya has been kidnapped by Amphisbaena, and to conceal his identity, he refuses to speak. This further disconnects how Izaya is seen by both the reader and other characters from the real Izaya.
Oddly enough, there is a strong focus on his relationships with women through the eyes of other characters. On the very first page of the prologue, Nakura is speaking with Kasane about Izaya and brings up how âhe always did have a fair number of female followers who seemed to worship him.â His sisters call him a âplayboyâ and a âphilanderer.â Earthworm makes numerous sexual advances on Izaya, pressing her chest against him, touching his thigh, and licking his face. It is explicitly stated that âIzaya Oriharaâs physical appearance was right up Earthwormâs alley,â and her underlings call him âgood-looking.â His past relationship with Mikage is questioned, both by Eijirou and Earthworm. In fact, nearly every character that speaks about Izaya brings up his relationships with women. It isnât as if this has never been touched on in prior light novels, but there is an unusual emphasis on it in this volume. Interestingly, this is how Izaya is viewed by other characters, and is intentionally contrasted with the real Izaya. Although the novel repeatedly frames him as desirable to women, the emotional core of the volume centers around Shinra.
Although Izayaâs dialogue with other characters is about as mendacious as usual, the novel supplies more insight into his thoughts than in prior volumes. The first glimpse into the real Izaya is when he is speaking with Celty on a rooftop. Although his words are clearly meant to provoke Celty, they also hold some truth. His bitterness and jealousy are palpable. When Celty questions his flippant attitude toward his friendâs injuries, Izaya states, âWhen I got stabbed and told Shinra about it, he said, âSo long,â and hung up the call. If I seem distant, itâs only because Iâm matching his level of concern.â Later, he questions Celty calling him and Shinra friends, saying, âOut of everything in this wide, wide world, the only thing [Shinraâs] truly paying attention to is you. Shizu-chan and I might think of Shinra as a friend, but he barely notices us. In the end, heâll always prioritize you.â Although he later tries to claim this is a result of Shinra being âbewitchedâ by Celty, Izaya is clearly hurt by being overlooked by Shinra. Additionally, Izaya asks Celty if she was âenjoying [her] time with Shinra last night,â and when she reacts negatively he states, âI would have figured that youâd take my statement as positive acknowledgment that you and Shinra have a very cozy relationship.â This isnât the first time Izaya has made suggestive comments regarding Celty and Shinraâs relationship. Izayaâs jealousy towards Celty is at its peak in this volume. It becomes obvious that this is more than Izaya simply trying to irritate Celty, but is instead rooted in a personal grudge. He is bothered that Celty is the one that Shinra prioritizes, rather than him. This is especially relevant for a character like Izaya, who casts himself as an unbiased observer.
Almost halfway through the volume, the reader is given a flashback that outlines how Shinra and Izaya met in middle school. Although Izaya is still guarded at that age, it is clear his facade isnât fully formed. This gives the reader more insight into the real Izaya, before all the walls were formed. He is described as âpassive,â âremoved,â and âisolated.â Izaya meets Shinra and cannot seem to figure him out. Throughout the flashback sequence, Izayaâs inner thoughts are included. Most of these consist of Izaya trying to figure out what makes Shinra tick. For example, Izaya thinks to himself, âWhat a weird guy. Iâll have to keep observing him. But itâs dangerous to get too close. Gotta be cautious.â This is among the most transparent lines of thinking the reader is ever given access to from Izaya. Beyond this, the text reveals occasional moments of deeper emotions. After bantering with Shinra, Izaya reflects on how easily his walls could be broken down: âThe thought that all kids from other elementary schools might be this way was a very depressing one, but Izaya convinced himself this was a property unique to the Kishitani boy.â When the two argue about the gambling ring Izaya is running, Izaya is described as âtruly annoyed.â Similar to Izayaâs inner monologue in the present timeline, these instances only supply limited insight. However, any insight is significant for a character like Izaya, whose motivations are shrouded in mystery.
The climax of the flashback sequence is Shinra getting stabbed. In the present timeline, Izaya tends to react to chaos and violence with excitement. Even when he is in moments of grave danger, he is able to maintain his composure. Contrary to that, Izayaâs composure entirely collapses here. He rushes over to Shinra, immediately trying to call for an ambulance. Izaya listens to Shinraâs commands without question. He tells Shinra to refrain from talking and to take it easy. It is only when Izaya realizes that Shinra is okay that he regains his composure, suggesting that he takes the blame for the stabbing. It is explicitly stated that Izaya âwas alarmed enough at this moment that he couldnât accurately understand his emotions as it happened.â Itâs unsurprising that anyone, let alone a child, would react with panic when seeing their friend get stabbed, but it contrasts sharply with how Izaya acts in the present. When reflecting on this moment, Izaya states that Shinraâs stabbing might be âthe one single event that had a clear and undeniable effect on shaping who I am as a person.â Izayaâs feelings here are complicated. He also bears some jealousy towards Shinra for how âfirmly, confidently alien he was.â Izaya is similarly described as âalienâ by his elementary school classmates, but seemingly has more inner conflict regarding his detachment. Izaya is constantly seeking connection with others, using his machinations as a means of engagement. Meanwhile, Shinra is unbothered as long as he has Celty.
Debatably, Izayaâs most vulnerable moment in the entire light novel series is the telephone pole scene. After bringing Celtyâs head near her, Izaya considers how angry Shinra might get at him for doing that before laughing and slamming his fist into a telephone pole. This is a pivotal character moment for Izaya. It isnât as if Izaya is unaware of the consequences of his actions. Throughout the series, he repeatedly states that he understands the impacts of his behavior, but he just doesnât care to change. In this volume, he tells Celty, âEven I understand that my actions and personality have rightfully earned me some enmity.â The telephone pole scene, however, is an outlier. It is a rare instance where he is shown grappling with the possible repercussions of his actions, becoming distressed enough to externalize it. Most importantly, this is something that has not happened. This is a consequence that Izaya has not and does not end up facing, but just the thought of it is troubling to him.
All together, this contrasts the perceived Izaya, who is framed as a womanizer, with the real Izaya, whose emotional core is Shinra. This begins to paint a picture of Izayaâs feelings towards Shinra that can easily be read through a romantic lens. The text highlights his romantic and sexual appeal to women before shifting attention to how important Shinra is to him. The moments of real Izaya provided in this novel almost exclusively surround Shinra. This novel frames their friendship as the most human part of Izaya, revealing several emotional vulnerabilities. It confirms that Shinra is Izayaâs only true friend, calling him âA friend by the definition of the rest of the world, not Izayaâs own twisted standards.â Izaya holds resentment toward Shinra for how he treated him when he was in the hospital. He is jealous of Celty for being Shinraâs top priority, as well as Shinra himself. He is fascinated and perplexed by Shinra when they first meet. Izaya is so distressed at the thought of how Shinra might react to him bringing the head near Celty that he punches a telephone pole. It becomes evident that Izaya holds very strong, yet mixed, feelings towards Shinra. Although Narita has come out and stated that he considers Izaya straight, the intentional juxtaposition in the ninth light novel enables Izaya to easily be read as queer.
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fweamy called this besties double date so... double date it is. but seriously i draw this as an excuse to show my headcanon of their heights and stuff lol
i am very much a "celty is taller than shinra" believer... narita, suzuhito yasuda and everyone else can't take that away from me...
and shinra got thee most babyface ever amongst the adults, just because i think it suits his character, especially in contrast to izaya, who look mature but can be childish if you poke him the wrong way haha
anyway, commission link here -> (x)