roiesie

me emailing my college professors: hi bestie! i can't do this today

amy winehouse was right......what kinda fuckery is this 💔

every single person on depop has the mind of a criminal

i want a glass of water themed birthday party

I recommend scrolling to a port and start clicking the fuschia dots. They’re pleasure crafts, owned by civilians, and they have the most amazing names.

we’re both construction workers trying to level concrete but i’m very in love and keep drawing hearts in it with my finger while laying on my stomach and kicking my legs

*writing in my diary using a glitter gel pen* I'm losing my sense of humanity

why do i have to format emails like i’m writing a letter to my fucking husband on the frontlines of the long war. my dearest gregory. it has been too long since i’ve held in my embrace. o, that these travails shall lead us to one another again. my sincerest, fondest thoughts go with you in this, your hour of need. i have attached the requested documents in .pdf format. thanks!

Can you believe we can just live in our houses with little animals

I can pick one up and kiss it any time you can just smooch them

Every day I wake up to little animal snores in my bed is a revelation

Sometimes you will be lying down and a little animal will stomp all over your body and organs 🥰

lighting a candle is such a commitment. yes I do want to be in this room for the next two hours at least. yes I’m sure

knuckle tats that say TOMAT OSOUP

life is very simple you see. the goal is to look at good things (your personal email which contains tracking info on your packages) and not look at bad things (your work email that contains evil messages)