THE MILKMAN

"Now, if I had anythin' ta say 'bout tha BEST milk for morale, it's gotta be Angel Milk! My own recipe, y'know!! Ya can drink it hot OR cold - or, I mean, ya can, but it's betta hot!! I drink'a stuff every night!! I'd drink it more!! But, well, then I woul'n' have none ta sell, an' I think everybody should drink more milk!! I woul'n' even charge fa it, 'cept tha base is almond milk, an' I'on even know how ta milk an almond, so I gotta buy tha stuff!! ... I mean, I sell'a otha stuff, too - an' chocolate milks real good, too, but I really gotta toot my own horn here wit' my Angel Milk!!" The milkman seems incredibly satisfied with being given the time of day to discuss, perhaps, the most important topic that could be: milk. And how everybody should drink more of it.

Ay, my milk's got nuttin' ta do wit' RED, buddy!! I handcraft an' sell it all on my own. I drink a crapton'a tha stuff an' I'm doin' great!! Ya gon' love it pal, trust me!! ദ്ദി(｡•̀ ,<)~✩‧₊

Euukey. If you insist.

"I DO insist!!" (˶ᵔᗜᵔ˶)ﾉﾞ Not a man in the world would be able to outmatch the milkman's certainty. A bottle of milk it handed over - it emits a faint light, and is off-white in color.

"Hell yeah!! Tell me how ya like it, pal!!" The milkman seems to have 100% confidence that the other will actually try the milk later on.

"That's 'cause it's my own recipe!! I call it Angel Milk!! ... Not sure why it glows, exactly, but I can only assume it's 'cause milk is a gift from Heaven!!" (˶ᵔᗜᵔ˶) The milkman seems very certain that a glowing beverage raises no red-flags. He holds it out insistently. "C'mon, pal!! I drink plenty'a tha stuff, an' I'm jus' fine!!" （˶•̀ ᎑-˶）

Ay, my milk's got nuttin' ta do wit' RED, buddy!! I handcraft an' sell it all on my own. I drink a crapton'a tha stuff an' I'm doin' great!! Ya gon' love it pal, trust me!! ദ്ദി(｡•̀ ,<)~✩‧₊

Euukey. If you insist.

"I DO insist!!" (˶ᵔᗜᵔ˶)ﾉﾞ Not a man in the world would be able to outmatch the milkman's certainty. A bottle of milk it handed over - it emits a faint light, and is off-white in color.

"Hey-ay-ayy!! Washington would be real proud'a ya decision, pal!!" Without hesitation, a cool bottle of milk is handed over. The milkman is very smug about his plan working.

"..." The milkman looks utterly horrified at the spiking of the milk. "Uh, yeah, pal! I wouldn't pay a nickel fa spiked milk, eitha! ... I, uh... Think I got otha' deliveries ta make." The milkman has learned a very hard lesson about the out-of-pocket nature of Soldiers, and the danger of advertising to them whilst expecting a normal interaction. He will be better prepared in the future.

Ay, my milk's got nuttin' ta do wit' RED, buddy!! I handcraft an' sell it all on my own. I drink a crapton'a tha stuff an' I'm doin' great!! Ya gon' love it pal, trust me!! ദ്ദി(｡•̀ ,<)~✩‧₊

"Hey-ay-ayy!! Washington would be real proud'a ya decision, pal!!" Without hesitation, a cool bottle of milk is handed over. The milkman is very smug about his plan working.

Workin' on it, pal!! By the time I'm done, everybody's gon' be drinkin' the stuff!! ദ്ദി(｡•̀ ,<)~✩‧₊ ... And hell yeah, pal!! Ya won't regret it!!! (,,>ヮ<,,)!

"'Course, pally!! If someone don' like ya flowas, jus' come an' tell ol' Scout an' he'll make 'em like tha flowas!!" The man flexed, flashing a confident grin.

Ay, pal!! I think ya supposed'a yell "think fast!" before ya CHUCK BRICKS AT PEOPLE. ((OOC: On a real note, amazing art!! :-) ))

I dunno, doc!! Usually ya tests end me wit' that freaky bird somewhere in me an' my everythin' bein' sore. An' I bet it don' taste nearly as good as milk! Plus, no milk's a waste if I enjoy every sip! ...But metal bones sound cool. On a scale of one ta "the usual", how much would metal bones hurt ta get?

...Are there any needles involved or can I jus' shotgun a bottle'a tha stuff?

Yeah, seriously!! Needles are basically, like, not awesome at all!! You may be a doctor, but I'M scientastic, an' I know that needles kill cool guys 100% of the time. I took a survey an' tha results said that. It don' matter that I'm tha only one that answered tha survey. Results are results !!

Fine zhen! No indestructible metal bones!

WAIT!! Like REAL indestructible? ... Maybe SOME needles don' kill cool guys.

I dunno, doc!! Usually ya tests end me wit' that freaky bird somewhere in me an' my everythin' bein' sore. An' I bet it don' taste nearly as good as milk! Plus, no milk's a waste if I enjoy every sip! ...But metal bones sound cool. On a scale of one ta "the usual", how much would metal bones hurt ta get?

...Are there any needles involved or can I jus' shotgun a bottle'a tha stuff?

Yeah, seriously!! Needles are basically, like, not awesome at all!! You may be a doctor, but I'M scientastic, an' I know that needles kill cool guys 100% of the time. I took a survey an' tha results said that. It don' matter that I'm tha only one that answered tha survey. Results are results !!