follows back from @stolenrocket218 – tf2-centric sideblog at @postsfromtheteufortunderground | TF2 RP Blogs Masterpost Link
Hello! Welcome to the blog! My name is Ash (he/him)! You may also know me from @mostlypracticalengineering!
This is an RP blog for the RED Soldier, otherwise known as Mr. Jane Doe, from Team Fortress 2 – As always, this blog is non-selective, so anybody can interact, and other RP blogs are encouraged to stop in!
As is the case with the Engie blog, as long as you aren't super explicit or downright offensive, I'll probably answer whatever you send. Suggestive is alright, just use your judgement on it.
What gets mentioned about Solly here is about 30% canon content, and 70% me LARPing as a really patriotic American for content. He's from the same universe as Dell over on @mostlypracticalengineering and has the same situation going on, so keep that in mind.
Much like Dell, Soldier also doesn't know any versions of the mercs he comes across on here. Unlike Dell, he is objectively either too stupid or too busy being Soldier to even notice. He gets a vibe, and that's about it. Whether that vibe is, "You're different but I don't care!" or "You are an impostor pretending to be one of my men and I will kill you!" is a complete lottery and is based on nothing except what mood he's in at that given moment.
As always: Try and spot which TF2 ships I'm most partial to. I'm quite a multishipper, so have fun with that!
Send asks. Talk to a man with severe lead poisoning and militaristic delusions. Hoo-rah.
TAG LIST:
questions comments patriotism! (asks)
improving relations (reblog interactions)
a soldier's wisdom (non-ask posts) – note: anything under this tag is an open rp starter!
non-soldier posts (out of character)
Thanks for dropping by, and I look forward to any interactions you want to do!
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"He is!!" he says, despite the fact that the statement he's responding to is unfinished. "And certainly! I've only ever accidentally made napalm ONCE!!"
This man is EASILY in his, like, 40s, by the way. And yet...
"I will not ask that filthy, cigarette-stinking Frenchman for help in ANYTHING, thank you." He crosses his arms indignantly. Then, very earnestly, he asks, "Why would I ask anybody except Engie? He's a good cook. I like his cooking. And I like doing stuff with him. I like him."
"Negatory! I have stated my terms and I will not be swayed. The only man worthy of accompanying me into battle as my right-hand man is my first lieutenant."
You know, it is entirely possible that 'first lieutenant' is some sort of term of endearment. He seems to only ever use it for Engie.
He stands there stiffly, scowling at Gunner.
"Absolutely ridiculous," he grouses. "I have fought and won many wars, I can play trombone solos that will make you CRY, and I can rocket jump like no man before me! I think I can handle pouring stuff into a bowl." He lifts a hand, and, prodding Gunner in the chest with each syllable, he says pointedly, "Maggot."
(All of Gunner’s suspicions are confirmed with the second sentence alone. He knows a closeted person when he sees one. ..for no reason, of course.)
“Okay, don’t poke me. And no one cares about the trombone!”
(He sighs, realizing he’s getting his heart rate up over nothing.)
“Whatever! Go tell that mechanic to pour your stuff in a bowl then! I don’t care, all I know is that we can’t trust you with anything except fighting!”
The Soldier is more than pleased with this response.
Time has absolutely been wasted here. Also, he's probably going to complain about Gunner's conduct to a certain someone, so I'm sure THAT won't come up later.
"He is!!" he says, despite the fact that the statement he's responding to is unfinished. "And certainly! I've only ever accidentally made napalm ONCE!!"
This man is EASILY in his, like, 40s, by the way. And yet...
"I will not ask that filthy, cigarette-stinking Frenchman for help in ANYTHING, thank you." He crosses his arms indignantly. Then, very earnestly, he asks, "Why would I ask anybody except Engie? He's a good cook. I like his cooking. And I like doing stuff with him. I like him."
"Negatory! I have stated my terms and I will not be swayed. The only man worthy of accompanying me into battle as my right-hand man is my first lieutenant."
You know, it is entirely possible that 'first lieutenant' is some sort of term of endearment. He seems to only ever use it for Engie.
He stands there stiffly, scowling at Gunner.
"Absolutely ridiculous," he grouses. "I have fought and won many wars, I can play trombone solos that will make you CRY, and I can rocket jump like no man before me! I think I can handle pouring stuff into a bowl." He lifts a hand, and, prodding Gunner in the chest with each syllable, he says pointedly, "Maggot."
(All of Gunner’s suspicions are confirmed with the second sentence alone. He knows a closeted person when he sees one. ..for no reason, of course.)
“Okay, don’t poke me. And no one cares about the trombone!”
(He sighs, realizing he’s getting his heart rate up over nothing.)
“Whatever! Go tell that mechanic to pour your stuff in a bowl then! I don’t care, all I know is that we can’t trust you with anything except fighting!”
"He is!!" he says, despite the fact that the statement he's responding to is unfinished. "And certainly! I've only ever accidentally made napalm ONCE!!"
This man is EASILY in his, like, 40s, by the way. And yet...
"I will not ask that filthy, cigarette-stinking Frenchman for help in ANYTHING, thank you." He crosses his arms indignantly. Then, very earnestly, he asks, "Why would I ask anybody except Engie? He's a good cook. I like his cooking. And I like doing stuff with him. I like him."
"Negatory! I have stated my terms and I will not be swayed. The only man worthy of accompanying me into battle as my right-hand man is my first lieutenant."
You know, it is entirely possible that 'first lieutenant' is some sort of term of endearment. He seems to only ever use it for Engie.
He stands there stiffly, scowling at Gunner.
"Absolutely ridiculous," he grouses. "I have fought and won many wars, I can play trombone solos that will make you CRY, and I can rocket jump like no man before me! I think I can handle pouring stuff into a bowl." He lifts a hand, and, prodding Gunner in the chest with each syllable, he says pointedly, "Maggot."
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
"He is!!" he says, despite the fact that the statement he's responding to is unfinished. "And certainly! I've only ever accidentally made napalm ONCE!!"
This man is EASILY in his, like, 40s, by the way. And yet...
"I will not ask that filthy, cigarette-stinking Frenchman for help in ANYTHING, thank you." He crosses his arms indignantly. Then, very earnestly, he asks, "Why would I ask anybody except Engie? He's a good cook. I like his cooking. And I like doing stuff with him. I like him."
"He is!!" he says, despite the fact that the statement he's responding to is unfinished. "And certainly! I've only ever accidentally made napalm ONCE!!"
Without missing a beat, with all the conciseness and confidence of a musician who knows his stuff, he states, "Sousa's Stars and Stripes Forever, The Thunderer, which is also Sousa, and...American Patrol, F.W. Meacham."
Okay, so. Looks like as long as you're discussing music, America, or American music, he is on that shit like no other. Interesting cheat code, but alright.
Give him a minute, he's severely lead poisoned and/or brain damaged. It's like getting an old truck to start in the winter.
...
Or...not. He'll just not answer, that works too. He knows Sun Tzu quotes, war, and most USA history, but this particular topic escapes him. Or, wait, no, he's got something...
"Some...General. Something with...with an 'H'."
Okay, I mean...That was actually closer than I personally expected him to get. That wouldn't even be incorrect information if he were back home in 1968 instead of actively being blipped into another universe.
There is definitely more to be desired here, though. Everyone point and laugh.
"Counterpoint!! I love specifically the United States of America." Okay, tracks. "BUT! I can learn things!! If it will make me a better American. And also if it does not require reading. I cannot read."
Absolutely zero shame. But hey, he's doing better than about 99% of actual Americans (and potentially at least 45% of most lead poisoned Soldiers) – this Yankee's willing to learn things. Imagine that. Sure, he has the attention span of a walnut, but by God he's willing. With the mentioned caveats, of course.
Eh, sit him down with his Engineer and a history book, that'd get him to learn something.
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Give him a minute, he's severely lead poisoned and/or brain damaged. It's like getting an old truck to start in the winter.
...
Or...not. He'll just not answer, that works too. He knows Sun Tzu quotes, war, and most USA history, but this particular topic escapes him. Or, wait, no, he's got something...
"Some...General. Something with...with an 'H'."
Okay, I mean...That was actually closer than I personally expected him to get. That wouldn't even be incorrect information if he were back home in 1968 instead of actively being blipped into another universe.
There is definitely more to be desired here, though. Everyone point and laugh.
*thumps the top of your helmet and then shuffles away*
Without missing a beat, the Soldier bangs his fist into the side of his helmet. Some sort of display of dominance? Simply an example of how a REAL American would do it?
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He attempts a headstand and even flaps his wings fruitlessly to try and stay on his head but ended up falling on his side.
"Oof!"
He sits up and dusts himself off slightly before looking at Soldier with stars in his eyes.
"Did you see it? Did you see my headstand?"
@minidocofred
Soldier cocks his head, genuinely curious as to what the kid wants to show him. "Show me, private!" he says excitedly.
As Galen sets off into showing off his trick, the Soldier watches attentively, his hands tucked behind his back. A grin forms on his face as he briefly manages the handstand, before dropping off slightly as he falls down onto his side, his hands coming out from behind his back to hover, slightly awkwardly, in the air in case help was needed.
For a very brief moment, he looks genuinely worried, but then Galen sits up, and he grins again, putting his hands back behind his back.
"I DID see it, and I can say that it was EXCELLENT, private! You deserve a medal for that performance!"
He pauses, then starts rooting around in the satchel attached to his bandolier. He produces a medal – which he appears to have made himself – and kneels down, offering it to Galen as if he were handing over a very important award.
"For your services done in the name of headstanding, I present this award!" he says. "Do you accept, private?"
Leave it to Soldier to be the world's greatest hype man regardless of what it is he's actually hyping up.
He gasped and looked up at Soldier like he offered him something of extreme importance. He smiled wide and gave as best of a salute as he could and standing as straight as possible.
"Yes mister Solly sir!"
He chirped before practically leaping at the taller and hugging him, a flurry of giggles escaping him.
He grins again, letting Galen hug him – returning the gesture with one arm – before pulling back just enough to clip the medal to the kid's shirt.
"That's what I like to hear!"
Once he's able to stand, he clicks his heels together and salutes back at Galen, though he's not quite able to restrain the way he still grins at the other happily.
Huh. Who knew he could be so good with kids? I mean, I wouldn't trust him to babysit, but...Wow.
He attempts a headstand and even flaps his wings fruitlessly to try and stay on his head but ended up falling on his side.
"Oof!"
He sits up and dusts himself off slightly before looking at Soldier with stars in his eyes.
"Did you see it? Did you see my headstand?"
@minidocofred
Soldier cocks his head, genuinely curious as to what the kid wants to show him. "Show me, private!" he says excitedly.
As Galen sets off into showing off his trick, the Soldier watches attentively, his hands tucked behind his back. A grin forms on his face as he briefly manages the handstand, before dropping off slightly as he falls down onto his side, his hands coming out from behind his back to hover, slightly awkwardly, in the air in case help was needed.
For a very brief moment, he looks genuinely worried, but then Galen sits up, and he grins again, putting his hands back behind his back.
"I DID see it, and I can say that it was EXCELLENT, private! You deserve a medal for that performance!"
He pauses, then starts rooting around in the satchel attached to his bandolier. He produces a medal – which he appears to have made himself – and kneels down, offering it to Galen as if he were handing over a very important award.
"For your services done in the name of headstanding, I present this award!" he says. "Do you accept, private?"
Leave it to Soldier to be the world's greatest hype man regardless of what it is he's actually hyping up.
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