Reign

I tried to come out as a lesbian like 7 years ago. I ended my last relationship because I didn’t feel the way I wanted to feel about the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. He tried to convince me that I was confused and offered me the opportunity to explore my sexuality whilst we were together, but I didn’t like the idea of leaving someone that cares about me on standby. The only thing that I’m confused about is why I thought I like men for anything more than sex. I have identified as bisexual since I was 14. But I can honestly say I lied about wanting a family with every guy I dated. I was trying to fit into a box I never really cared to fit into. Being heavily attracted to the woman that had my heart, scares me… because what tf was I doing. I may identify as “bisexual” but I’m actually Bisexual Homoromantic. I don’t crave a man’s heart the way I do a woman’s and tbh, because men I like have always been accessible, I’ve never really had to “crave” them. I love the amount of effort women put into learning ourselves… amongst other things. But I never felt grounded dating a man. Especially since I have a fairly androgynous aesthetic and a lot of “masculine” skills of my own. It’s like having both my father and grandfather really made me not need nor want for a man’s approval or love. I’ve always felt full in that sense. But something about pouring into other women fulfills my spirit. I can’t even explain it. Is this considered “coming out the closet” if I’m really taking something out of it??

I’ve learned more women’s history from watching drag queens that admire women than from women because women don’t like women.