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@rocksoundmay

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Stop
Get this away from me.
Avengers: Infinity War (2018)
Ladies, I am holding out my hand. Do you trust me?
I need you to open Google Maps. Locate your nearest mall. Get in your car. Drive to Yankee Candle.
Past the seasonal pumpkin display, near the back of the store, you will find a trash pile Man Candle section. You will see candles called MMM, Bacon!. Riding Mower. Man Town. (Iām not kidding. Man Town.) Stay strong. Not in this section, but likely very near this section, you will find a candle called Mountain Lodge.
Hold this jar in your hands like a talisman. Close your eyes and picture a man.
I want to be clear: Iām not talking about a Hugh Dancy. Or an Andrew Garfield, a Ben Whishaw, even a Tom Hiddleston. This exercise requires someone in the Chris Evans weight class. The Richard Armitage department. Someone with smile lines around his eyes who could chop the cedar for your bower with his own hands, strangle an alpha wolf, carry you home when you sprain your ankle in the woods, bench press your entire body. Picture this man in your mountain home with a full beard, a slightly grimy white henley, a fond half smile he reserves only for you. Now open the lid and smell Mountain Lodge.
Steady yourself on the man candle display. Give yourself a second. No, youāre not wrong. Yes, the Yankee Candle Company has just eliminated the need for men. This medium tumbler Mountain Lodge candle jar is now your boyfriend. The Yankee Candle Company has effectively replaced the need for contact with the male half of our species with a compact and clean-burning candle in a jar.
āDo you like this one?ā the cashier asked, ringing me up. āEvery man should be required by law to smell like what this candle smells like,ā I replied intensely. āThatāll be $12.01,ā she said.
MOUNTAIN LODGE
it literally smells like waking up on a cold night to find a bearded richard armitage adding another quilt to the bed before he gets back in and pulls you snugly against his chest
Iām not fucking around I feel like I should be watching chris hemsworth in flannel and suspenders whittling a delicate masterpiece in front of a fireplace rn
All right, Tumblr, I saw this post a few months ago and immediately realized IĀ hadĀ to smell this candle. Ā I have never in my life experienced such a burning need (pun intended) to smell what the Yankee Candle website described as a warm aroma of cedarwood and sage, but what Tumblr described as my new boyfriend.
The trouble is that nearest Yankee Candle Company store was a bit of a trek, and my schedule tended to prohibit this olfactory adventure.
So for the last few weeks, as Iād scroll my Tumblr dash and look at images of attractive manly men, Iād sigh and wistfully think, if only I could engage another sense with this image. If only I couldĀ I could truly fathom the ideal fragrance of this man.
And then this happened.
And I knew.
I knew whatever was happening, IĀ neededĀ to get to a Yankee Candle Company. The scent of Mountain Lodge would transport me instantly to this scene. The aroma of this infamous candle could make me live out a self-insertion Avengers fanfic.
So I got in my car, made the drive, and located the Yankee Candle Company. Ā The store was crowded with holiday shoppers. My nose was immediately assaulted by hundreds of warring scents. Ā
I battled through the sea of humanity and the Angel Wings-Merry Marshmallow-Magical Frosted Forest assault, buoyed on by my need to understand what Steve Rogers ripping a log in half with his bare hands smelled like.
I waded toward the back of the store, only to discover the man candle section seems to have been discontinued. What was I going to steady myself on, once I found my scented gateway to hanging out with the Avengers on Hawkeyeās farm? I felt lost, adrift, unable to find my bearings amid Soft Blanket-Fluffy Towels-Home Sweet Home.
And then⦠rising from the āFreshā display, there it was.
Mountain Lodge.
It was the moment of truth. What would it be like to smell this infamous candle?
I opened the lid. I took a deep breath.
And I giggled.
Ah yes. Ā This was it. Ā This gentle, pleasantly masculine fragrance, in fact, reduced me to what Iād probably do in the actual presence of Chris Evans:Ā giggle like an idiot.
The smell makes me smile, makes me laugh, makes me gently swoon: all reactions that, indeed, can be elicited by an ideal man.Ā I can barely handle the true power of Mountain Lodge.
Several months have passed since this discovery. I have regaled friends with the saga, and after hearing of it, they, too, felt the burning need to smell the candle. Ā One by one, we have all become Mountain Lodge converts. In times of need, this candle is our refuge. Our group has developed escapist superpowers, infused by the Yankee Candle Company.Ā
THE CANDLE, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND. Ā
MOUNTAIN LODGE.
This is how you do advertisement
we love everything about all of this. We will always be there for you, just light your Mountain Lodge candle and know that our love burns bright for you.
The official Yankee Candle⢠tumblr account has recognized the Mountain Lodge mythos. My work on the material plane is finally complete. A being of pure light, I slowly ascend to the aether.
This post made me go to the shop as soon as I went to the USA and I can confirm itās all real. Itās Chris in candle
Why do you gravitate towards brooding, conflicted, and repressed characters?

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One day, youāre walking along when you fall into a hole. You realize in horror that this is the Writing Prompts database. To escape, you have to live through every single prompt on this page.
this aint a prompt its a full-fledged horror story
Iād rather die tbh
Good news for you amigo youāll die many times before you live out every prompt
I feel like this could be fun tho
Oh boy, you are in for a wild ride if we include all the submissions that are still in my inbox. Want to have sex with The Doctor in a room full of talking bananas that are trying to lunge at your ass?
Ok normally i like the prompts on this page but what the fuck is this
I have been protecting you amigos since the beginning of this blog
Do you have any idea whatās it like for me? I seriously fear my inbox
IT SPEAKS
I DO
Good morning tumblr, Who are we cancelling today??
Victoria SecretĀ
Read More:Ā https://www.vogue.com/article/rihanna-savage-fenty-lingerie-campaign-body-positivity
I literally just signed up on the website and bras go higher than DDD and undies go up to 3XL so yeah guys itās more inclusive than VS, the article is inaccurate
Hey everyone, I just wanted to say that for my capstone in my undergrad, our class ran an ad campaign for VS. So, of course, we got to talk to a ton of executives for the company. One of our goals for them was to figure out how to make VS appeal more to the younger generation. The girls in my class (which was about 98% of my class) immediately jumped on the ābody inclusivityā train. Why not start hiring plus-size models to be angels? Why not start including bigger sizes?
The executives immediately took it off the table. Their words were āWe are interested in selling the fantasy of the supermodelā in laymanās terms that equates to āno fat chicksā and we spent the rest of the meeting with the ladies in my class (myself, included) questioning the executives and essentially jumping down their throats.
Victoriaās Secret is not interested in body inclusivity. They donāt care about appealing to a wider audience, despite their failing sales. Theyāre seriously a bunch of older, out of touch people who donāt understand that times are changing and they will very soon get left behind. We gave them facts, statistics, and survey results that we collected that PROVED that people arenāt interested in VS anymore and thatās exactly why. But they donāt care about that. They donāt care about improving their own image. They just donāt care about their own consumer base.
I hope somebody besides me reads this. Because I want more people to know what narrow minded scumbags the executives at Victoriaās Secret are.
HIGHER THAN DDD YOU SAY? ME AND GIRLS ARE ACCEPTED!!
I NEED THIS!!!!!
https://www.vogue.com/article/rihanna-savage-x-fenty-lingerie-launch-details/
https://www.savagex.com
https://www.savagex.com
ššš
Gabriel, after terrorizing Paris once again for his own selfish reasons: Thank God Adrien is not Chat Noir, right? Thatād be terrible. Can you imagine if I put my own sonās life in danger every single day??
Nooroo, knowing damn well Adrien is Chat Noir:
a very scared abandoned dog was saved off of the streets and regained her happiness
via @crankdatholly
She was so scared but she warmed right up :ā( I love herĀ
Omg the way she looks at the owner in the end, Iām gonna spontaneously combust from how cute this is
Iām not crying, you are

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chris evans is a joke i want 10
hereās some info you might like to share
gofundme takes up to 7.9% of everything people donate you + $0.30 per donation
that means that if 10 people help you raise $1000, youāre losing $82 bucks
gofundme doesnāt allow fundraisers for abortions but let darren wilson open a fundraiser after he murdered mike brown
instead, try usingĀ http://www.youcaring.com/Ā which is not only free but also pro-choice and not fucking racist to my knowledge
they can stay free because they ask everyone who donates to a cause whether theyād like to donate $1 to the website to keep it running
good luck w/ ur fundraisers!!
Ugly Privilege is being the ārelationship expertā when your friends are going through relationship issues and you got no experience with romantic relationships
Ugly Privilege is knowing your partner likes you cuz you goofy and your personality is a 10/10 and not for your looks
Ugly Privilege is being used to rejection because yo ugly ass aint surprised, given the odds
Ugly Privilege is not being hit on all the time and not having random people slide into your DMs while you tryna mind yo own business
Ugly Privilege is having a longer battery life, since ya know⦠nobodyās sliding into your DMs and blowinā up your phone cuz you posted a selfie
Ugly Privilege is saving that money and spending that money on yourself and nobody else cuz yo ass forever single
Ugly Privilege is having your partner not worry about you cheatinā because who else wants yo goofy ugly ass besides your partner?
half of yall pretty af and shouldnt be reblogging this.
for yall average-lookin folks, yall can reblog this but you on thin ice, ya hear me?? THIN. ICE.
this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!
ehh what the hell
OH MY GOD SO NO FUCKIN BULLSHIT I SWEAR To GOD. I reblogged this an hour ago and IM NOT Lying My Tax Refund which I did in late march popped into my Bank Account, and it was a Decent sized amountā¦ā¦
WHAT THE FUCK Is THIS MAGIC!??!?!?! Im trying this again IM NOT BSing hahahaha thats actually pretty cool xD
yooooo
yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
FUCKIN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
no BULLSHIT I KID YOU NOT! Look what I found while walking Homeā¦..
OH MY GOD
OH MY F*CKIN GOD
THIS POST FUCKIN WORKS?!?!?! THIS IS PAST A COINCIDENCE NO WAY!??! NO FRIGGIN WAY!!!Ā
Im Going to reblog this every day to test this, its MAGIC ITS FRIGGIN MAGICĀ
I need to believe in the heart of the postā¦
Oh? Well⦠*reblag*
i reblogged this and now my uncle is giving me 250 to dye my hair nani the fucko
I have nothing to lose
my palm was itchin today not riskin it
I always reblog the money posts cause I canāt afford not too lol
It works. I just got $300 for no reason.
Money dog is my friend
Money dog is the shit
I believe in the money dogš
I believe in the money š¶
Bless me pls money pup šš
Just woke up ššæ
Ppleaseššš½

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Songs that never fail to make white people beyond turnt
Ā Donāt Stop BelievingĀ
Bohemian RhapsodyĀ
Living On A PrayerĀ
Come On EileenĀ
Sweet CarolineĀ
Shot Through the HeartĀ
Pour Some Sugar on MeĀ
Sweet Home AlabamaĀ
Under PressureĀ
Shook Me All Night LongĀ
Ice Ice BabyĀ
Cotton Eyed Joe
500 Miles
WonderwallĀ
Buddy HollyĀ
A Thousand MilesĀ
Teenage DirtbagĀ
Red Solo CupĀ
Mr BrightsideĀ
Never Gonna Give You UpĀ
Eye of the TigerĀ
Chicken FriedĀ
American PieĀ
I Love Rock and RollĀ
Dancing QueenĀ
Donāt You Want Me
We Will Rock YouĀ
The Time WarpĀ
Hey JudeĀ
Piano Man
This Is How We Do It
Drops of JupiterĀ
Hey Soul Sister
In The EndĀ
All The Small ThingsĀ
Stacyās MomĀ
KryptoniteĀ
All StarĀ
You Found Me
Bad DayĀ
Bring Me To LifeĀ
Dance, Dance
Sugar Weāre Going DownĀ
I Write Sins Not TragediesĀ
All The Small ThingsĀ
Ocean AvenueĀ
Dirty Little SecretĀ
MargaritavilleĀ
Sk8er Boi
Brown Eyed GirlĀ
Life Is A HighwayĀ
Some NightsĀ
Little Lion ManĀ
Breakeven
Hey There DelilahĀ
Viva La Vida
Use SomebodyĀ
Carry On My Wayward SonĀ
Take On Me
1985Ā
IrisĀ
Iām AwesomeĀ
Seven Nation ArmyĀ
SeptemberĀ
Since U Been Gone
Skinny LoveĀ
Everybody (Backstreetās Back)
Bye Bye ByeĀ
Say It Aināt SoĀ
Somewhere Only We KnowĀ
Iām YoursĀ
Last ResortĀ
My GirlĀ
Tiny DancerĀ
Roxanne
ShoutĀ
Iām a BelieverĀ
Soul Man
Feel Good IncĀ
Check Yes Juliet
Walking On SunshineĀ
MMM Bop
Pumped up KicksĀ
Hooked On A FeelingĀ
Itās A Beautiful Day
Summer GirlsĀ
Before He CheatsĀ
Happy Together
You Make My Dreams Come True
Build Me Up Buttercup
Escape (The Pina Colada Song)
DONTTRUSTME
Shake It (Metro Station)
Juke Box Hero
Girls Just Want To Have Fun
so i made the playlistĀ https://open.spotify.com/user/haey1/playlist/15HiKjAnUuAymWdqejOTcP
Rebloging with the playlist.
as a white I can confirm the accuracy of this playlist
If you donāt lose your titties with excitement over this playlist you donāt have a soul!
homeskillet, iām mexican american and i can confirm that this gets the white in me turnt af
Aināt gonna lie