THE SERPENTINE STARSHIP

stop replacing mirrors with ‘you look fine’ signs i know i look fine that’s why i want to look in the mirror

for chinese new year they get all these famous actors and comedians together and they do a lil show and one of the comedians was like “i was in a hotel in america once and there was a mouse in my room so i called reception except i forgot the english word for mouse so instead i said ‘you know tom and jerry? jerry is here’

if I’m not playing video games I’m probably thinking about them

I was so done when it whispered…I would shit bricks if I heard that when I got up to get a drink in the middle of the night…

“Let the bodies hit the….FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!!!”

oh my god he’s so into it

i hate birds