Leave your troubles at the door

THE PUPILS

Kids are too smart for this school crap.

This is the best

#john cage would have been so happy #it’s so meta #he would have pissed his pants

One thing I’ve learned: when people end whatever they’re saying with “idk, I’m probably not making any sense,” it usually means they are telling you something very close and personal to them, something that’s such an integral part of their being that they have trouble putting it into words that do it justice.

WE ONLY USE LEASHES BECAUSE DOGS CANT HOLD HANDS

A moment of silence to all the kids who can’t wait to become a teenager because they think it’s fun

Two hours of silence for all the teenagers who can’t wait to become adults because they think they’ll get to do whatever they want

a shot of vodka to all the 20 somethings who are coping with a lack of rent money by sitting around eating captain crunch in dinosaur PJs wishing they were actually a pre-teen again. 

I would like to formally apologize for every bad thing I have ever said about you, Kristen.

WHAT KIND OF WIZARD FISH IS THIS

This little fish lives deeeeeeeeeep down in the ocean and spits that little glob of bio luminescent liquid to momentarily distract predators and escape being eaten

It’s a wizard

ITS LIKE TOOTHLESS IN HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON

back when i was a bee keeper my bees were really gentle and one time i scooped up a handful of them and i got rly emotional and wanted to kiss them and i essentially faceplanted myself into a palm full of bees while crying and that’s an important fact about me

SHOUTOUT TO CATS FOR GETTING THEIR CLAWS STUCK IN THINGS AND THEN WHEN YOU HELP THEY GET OFFENDED THAT YOU TOUCHED THEIR PAW