random thoughts

Alpha's eyes flicked from you to the chair behind you, sitting inconspicuously in the corner. "Just come back here. I'm tired of using the chair."

You crossed your arms, stepping back and out of reach of his searching hands. "You know your back still has trouble with bending, especially bending forward. We need to keep your spine straight, so… chair."

"My back hardly hurts at all anymore," he said, jaw set in a stubborn line. "I can move just fine, even when I'm bending forward."

"Yes, but until you don't hurt at all, I can't risk it." You shrugged a little, noting the way his eyes drifted down to your breasts with the motion. "Even a little bit of pain is too much."

For a moment, he looked like he was set to argue, but you didn't have time for a debate you would win anyway. "Please, Alpha."

He heaved a sigh, ignoring the hand you offered again. You knew intellectually that you weren't strong enough to help him stand up, but it was an instinct you couldn't always manage to fight. Especially when it was so clearly difficult for him.

With a lot of effort and a grunt or two, Alpha was standing upright. When you laced your fingers through his, he allowed you to lead him over to the chair.

He sat down without making any verbal complaints, though there was a displeased little curve to his lips. You settled slowly and delicately onto his lap, pressing a kiss against that curve until it disappeared into a small smile. And then, when you rolled your hips against him, his entire expression was taken over by an anticipatory groan.

"Are you ready, Alpha?"

He nodded a few times, swallowing thickly. "I've been ready since you took off your shirt, little one."

"That long?" you teased, deliberately brushing your mound against him again.

"Keep teasing," he warned, eyes flashing dangerously, "and I'll show you that my back doesn't hurt anymore."

You didn't dignify that with a response. Instead, you reached between you to position him so that you could sink down onto his length.

Riding Alpha this way was always a challenge, whether he was sitting or laying down. Something about being on top made him feel even larger. You had to be careful or things could get overwhelming, especially when you were just getting started. That being said, you had gotten plenty of practice over the past few weeks.

As soon as Alpha was cleared to return to ARC training, Ransom had said he was okay to have sex again, but had given him a list of some particular movements and positions that would make things easier. This had been the one that worked best for both of you.

The initial stretch was familiar now, something you could handle without outwardly reacting. Your inner muscles still took a moment to adjust, but after a few breaths and a kiss to Alpha's collarbone, you planted your toes on the floor and started to move.

Your feet barely reached the floor at the top of each stroke, leaving you extending your leg muscles as far as you possibly could to rise off of his lap. Alpha felt huge this way, jutting up into you so deeply that you could hardly breathe when you settled back down onto his thighs. Or perhaps it was just the way that put pressure on all the right places…

Alpha muffled your moan when he pressed those soft lips to yours, distracting you with the desperation of his kiss. Your hands were braced against his shoulders for purchase, using their breadth as leverage as you worked up and down on top of him, or you would have cradled his face the way he was doing to yours.

He seemed to realize that limitation at the same time you did. All of a sudden, Alpha's hands seemed to be everywhere. Stroking down the length of your arms, brushing delicately against your nipples, resting just above your ass, circling over your clit…

"Alpha," you groaned, trying to speed up despite the burning in your thigh muscles. "I'm not going to last long if you keep doing that."

"Can't help it, neverd'ika," Alpha confessed remorselessly. "I love watching you fall apart on top of me."

You involuntarily tightened around him at that. Your moan was nearly drowned out by his curse. His hands wrapped around your waist, holding on as he visibly struggled to stay still beneath you.

"You're killing me." Alpha's head tipped back, connecting lightly with the wall. "You feel so good. Can you go a little faster?"

"I'm trying." You reached further with your toes, trying to see if you could find a firmer purchase on the floor. When your foot slipped out from under you for the second time, you and Alpha both gasped at the resulting firmer-than-usual downstroke. "We should really look into a shorter chair."

"Or getting rid of it entirely."

You shook your head at the familiar complaint. Alpha seemed to have taken the chair as a personal insult, but it was necessary.

When you lifted back up off of him, it was so easy that the thick slide of him leaving you was overwhelming. Your eyes fluttered closed at the feeling, as well as the thrust of him back inside of you.

Two more easy strokes passed before you frowned. Why were you moving so easily now when you had been struggling so hard before? Now that you thought to pay attention to something so far outside of what you were concentrating on… your left foot definitely wasn't even touching the floor now.

Your eyes snapped open again, your suspicious gaze immediately caught by the blue cybernetics implanted in Alpha's side. Their glow was bright - Alpha was using his increased strength and the grip he had around your waist to lever you up and down.

"Alpha!" Your admonishment was as sharp as you could make it, distracted by the way he was brushing that magical spot inside you - a spot you rarely managed to angle him against when you were the one in charge of the movement - and the way Alpha's eyes had gone heavy-lidded with pleasure.

Alpha released you immediately after your shocked chiding. "Sorry, little one. I got carried away."

"You could have hurt yourself!"

"I needed to know I could still make you feel good."

You rested your hands on his pecs, leaning in to press your forehead against his. "Alpha, you always make me feel good. But I can't let you risk hurting yourself for something so minor."

"Being with you isn't something I consider minor," he told you seriously. "Besides, helping you along a little wasn't going to hurt me."

You huffed out a breath at him. "If us having sex in a bed could cause you another injury, you lifting my entire body weight - putting all the strain on your back, by the way - could do even worse!"

"I was engineered to handle more than double your weight at my weakest moment." Alpha was definitely pouting by that point. "When are you going to admit that I've recovered enough to be with you off of this karkin' chair?"

"When bending forward to eat your food doesn't make you break out into a sweat." You lifted yourself off of his lap, giving him a look of warning when he reached out as if to help you. "I know it's frustrating for you that you're not fully recovered yet, but pushing things too far too soon is only increasing the risk of getting another injury or making the ones you have worse."

"Wait," Alpha said, reaching out to catch your hand with his before you could walk away. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have tried to lift you, especially when I knew how you would feel about it."

"I would think you'd be upset for your own sake, not because I'm mad." Alpha's carefully blank expression told you everything about what he would do if he wasn't worried you would be angry. "Alpha…"

"I won't lie to you, cyare, I think I'm well enough to be with you the way we were before all of this." Your eyes followed the gesture he made down toward his lower half, but it only served to remind you how close you had come to losing him. How scared you had been.

How scared he had been.

"It's not worth the risk, Alpha. I know you hate the chair-"

"I hate the di'kutla chair."

"-but it's keeping you from reinjuring your back," you finished, giving him a pointed look. "If there were another position that kept you from moving your hips forward, we could try it, but I just haven't done the research."

"I have," Alpha told you, getting to his feet. His erection bobbed between you, half-comical and fully mouth-watering as you considered what other positions might bring him some relief without requiring the hated chair.

"Mmm?" you hummed, realizing that you should probably look back at his face. When you did, Alpha was wearing a satisfied little smirk that made you give a rueful smile in return. "You've done what?"

"Researched positions that could work for us." Alpha ducked down slightly as he reached you, swiping his thumb over your cheek as he cupped your jaw. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course."

He smiled, tilting your head up so he could kiss you. When he finally pulled away, Alpha said, "Thank you, ner karta."

You were slightly dazed as you stood there, watching him neatly fold the blankets on your bed down to the foot of the mattress. In the empty expanse left by the lack of covers, he arranged a stack of pillows at the very edge of his side of the bed.

With that done, he turned back to you and patted the pile of pillows. "Hips here."

It wasn't the most dignified position, but you could make it work… As you were clambering into place, Alpha's hand on your hip made you pause. When you looked at him, his face was slightly red beneath an apologetic expression.

"Sorry, neverd'ika, I should have said- Uh. The advice I read recommended that you be facedown."

That was a little different for the two of you. Alpha wanted nothing more than to watch your face when he was inside of you, and you had been surprised by how much you loved watching his expression as he got closer and closer to the edge. It wouldn't be the first time he had taken you from behind, but it would be the first time he requested it instead of it being a matter of convenience.

You paused, awkwardly half-propped on the pillows. "Does it matter?"

"I'm- not sure…" he said slowly. "It said facedown, but I don't know if that's a requirement or just how they described it."

With a shrug and a comforting smile for Alpha, you said, "Easy enough to fix."

You flipped over, settling into the position he had described. The stack of pillows under your hips left your upper body pressed into the mattress in an undignified way, but propping yourself on your elbows put uncomfortable pressure on your spine, so you settled fully onto your belly. Your legs were dangling in the air and a mental image of how you must look made your face go hot with embarrassment.

"Not the sexiest position," you joked, turning your face to the side so you could breathe.

"You're not seeing what I am." Alpha's voice had gone husky with want, drawing an instant response from your body.

Sudden and sharp, you realized that Alpha was standing between your spread legs and eyeing everything you had on display. That awareness made your body tighten as your core went liquid for him.

"This…" You stopped to gulp down a quick gasp of air. "This position might work for me after all."

A touch - so gentle it was barely there - traced the swollen lips of your sex and you shuddered. "Yeah? Better than the chair?"

You rolled your eyes, but they fluttered shut as he pressed a single finger into you. When he had buried it up to the knuckle in your heat, another finger ghosted over your clit and your lips parted so you could take a shuddering breath.

"What are you doing?" you asked, trying to keep the tremble from your voice.

"Appreciating you," came his answer, and it somehow sent a flutter through your heart and your sex simultaneously.

He began to pump his finger in and out of you, the motion gentle and unhurried but still maddening. He added a little twist to the movement every time he withdrew from you and your hips tried to chase the movement. The pleasure was rising faster than you had expected, but there were questions that still needed to be answered.

You fought to keep your mind clear as you asked, "How is this position going to keep your back stable?"

"I'll move my whole body instead of just my hips." The casual way he explained it sent heat through you. You were on the brink of falling apart and he was still so coherent. "Since flexing my hips forward is the only thing I'm struggling with, this position should minimize how much flexing I need to do. And you're at the perfect height for me like this."

You nodded, barely able to process anything past the need he was building inside of you. You understood that he wasn't going to be straining himself in this position - and it was definitely working for you - so you could melt into the pleasure.

At least, you did until Alpha withdrew his hand and stopped touching you entirely.

"Does that work for you, neverd'ika?"

From his tone, you knew that he was teasing you. With the bone-deep need rising in your gut, you nodded quickly. Alpha pressed, "Are you sure? I'll need you to tell me if there's something you want me to do differently."

"Now you're the one-" You broke off, voice hitching sharply when his teasing touch returned, barely making contact with the petals of your sex before disappearing. "-the one killing me."

His rumbling laugh made you shift impatiently against the pillows. "When are you- oooooh…"

Alpha pressed into you, and your desperately-clutching muscles welcomed him eagerly inside. He felt bigger than ever from this angle, stretching your walls around him, and you writhed at how full you felt. Your fingers clutched in the sheets on the bed, trying to keep yourself grounded as he steadily worked himself inside you.

When he was finally buried as deep as he could go, Alpha paused so you could both appreciate the sensation. Your inner muscles danced over his length, trying to get used to the blissful intrusion. You weren't sure - you never were - but it almost felt like you were clenched around him so tightly that you could feel his pulse throbbing in your core.

Alpha's hands, wrapped around your hips, clutched you tightly and your body convulsed with desperate need. Alpha grunted, hips surging forward so he could sink a fraction deeper.

"You're so tight," he bit out.

You whined in agreement, trying to rock forward and back on your stack of pillows. He had to start moving soon or you would die from delayed gratification. That was the only explanation for the maelstrom raging through you.

Thankfully, Alpha must have felt the same because he finally started to move.

There was no reason, logically speaking, that this should have felt as overwhelming as it did. You had sex with Alpha more times than you could specifically remember over the course of your relationship, and a lot of those times had been far more strenuous or fast-paced than this.

As far as you could tell with your temporarily-limited capacity for higher brain function, it had just been so long since you weren't the one controlling everything. Alpha had never needed to be in charge, not like some others you had heard about, but he tended to be the one setting the pace for most of your encounters. At least, he had before Grievous.

Since his injury, sex with Alpha had been limited to a handful of times in highly controlled situations. He couldn't support any weight, couldn't move his hips, couldn't move his body too much or he risked another injury. You had made it work, but you had been in control for a lot of it. You had always ridden him or - once - laid on your side with him behind you for easier access. Oral sex from him was out of the question simply as a matter of position, though you had used your mouth on him a few times.

This was different. You weren't used to not being the one in control of the pace, depth, stimulation… Your movements were limited by your position on your stomach and by the pile of pillows beneath you. You didn't know what was going to happen and you couldn't do anything but take it. The idea excited you in a way you couldn't quite explain but weren't going to question.

And, true to his word, this position didn't seem to be hurting Alpha.

You couldn't see him to check whether he was avoiding flexing his hips, but it certainly felt like he wasn't. Each stroke came slow and methodical, heavy in a way that said he was moving his entire body. The thrusts pounded against you in a series of percussive collisions that were a little jarring and a lot stimulating. More than once, you found yourself drooling helplessly onto the mattress.

The whole situation unlocked something in you and your orgasm was rising up to meet you fast enough that you needed to warn Alpha. "I'm-"

"I'm not going to last long, neverd'ika," Alpha admitted at the same time you began to speak. "'m close."

"Good," you said immediately. "I'm gonna-"

Alpha squeezed your hips again. "Come for me, ner karta."

And with only that encouragement, the wave of pleasure crashed over you. Every muscle in your core locked down and started squeezing. Somehow, Alpha managed to keep his pace for another handful of thrusts before he surged forward, hips pulsing against yours as he emptied himself as deep inside you as possible.

When you were self-aware enough to take account of your surroundings, Alpha was slumped over you, his chest pressed against your back. He kissed your shoulder, the hint of stubble on his jaw tickling your skin. You sighed at the tender touch, but cracked open one eye to peer back at him.

"You're going to hurt your spine."

Alpha huffed out a laugh. "Of all the things I'm feeling right now, 'hurt' isn't one of them."

You smiled, letting your eye fall shut again. "Same. That was incredible."

"Better than the chair?" he asked impishly.

After a moment of thought, you said, "I think you can throw the chair off the platform."

"It's a deal." Alpha paused. "As soon as I can move again."

"So it's not just me." With a laugh, you admitted, "I'm not using to hanging off the bed like this. My toes are going numb."

That was enough to jolt him into movement, and Alpha gingerly repositioned you on the bed without lifting you up. When you were nestled comfortably on your side of the bed, you smiled up at Alpha and he joined you, pushing the pile of pillows unceremoniously to the floor.

After a few moments of silence - you wriggling across the bed to tuck your head into the crook between his shoulder and neck - Alpha took a breath.

"Thank you." Before you could gather the energy to ask what he was thanking you for, Alpha continued, "Not everyone would be willing to put up with this from their partner."

"You don't make it easy," you agreed, smiling despite yourself at his insulted noise. "I just need you to stop going out of your way to hurt yourself."

"I meant that you're willing to change and adjust." You could feel him look down at you. "I know things are rough right now."

You sat up, ignoring twinges of soreness in your hips and the small of your back. "Alpha, you make it sound like I was ever going to do anything else. I'm never not going to fight for you. You understand that, right?"

He blinked at you a few times. Somewhere around the fourth blink, you realized that his eyes had gone glassy with the tears he was fighting back. Your hand lifted on its own, cupping his jaw gently. His hand covered yours immediately, pressing it harder against the warmth of his skin.

"Kar'taylir darasuum, ner karta."

"Cyar'ika," you returned in kind, knowing full-well that your smile was dopey and lovesick. Worse, you were far beyond the point of caring. "Kar'taylir darasuum."

Alpha pressed his forehead to yours in the gentlest keldabe and only pulled away when he drifted off to sleep. You allowed yourself a moment or two to admire him, visually tracing every line of his softened expression, before you joined him.

---

Author's Note - Sorry to drop this at such an odd time, but I was determined to post today! I barely made it, but I did it!

Just because these two were even more sickly cute than usual, I feel the need to say that they are NOT married. In this universe, I'm working off the Legends (possibly fanon) Mandalorian wedding process of just saying the vows and being married, even without any witnesses. If you need backstory, just assume that Kal Skirata and Walon Vau taught the Alpha ARCs about Mandalorian culture along with the Nulls and commando squads.

Anyway, the end of this chapter felt very weddingish, but I promise they're not quite there yet. They just really, REALLY love each other and are a pair of hopelessly romantic saps!

Also, I know I play fast and loose with Mando'a in general, but this is a pairing of two words (position and sit) that I'm just going to say roughly translate to "a place of sitting". We're just going to go with it.