Hypnotic Robotic

I feel this at the deepest level

one day you’ll wake up at 9:30am on a Sunday w the love of ur life and you’ll make some coffee and pancakes and it’ll all be alright

Who are they?

u mean to tell me its not north east west south!?

Bitch I thought they called it news because it was that new NEW shit

The things you can still learn …

Not everything is an acronym

You mean Not Everything Was Shortened

Best customer I’ve ever had was when some rich white cape cod lady in a floor length fur coat came into my store and asked her daughters what sweated pants were and how to wear them and her daughters kept trying to explain what sweat pants were to her and she was completely and utterly flummoxed by them

She asked if sweat pants are bisexual and her daughter was like “unisex?” and she was like “sure”

Fun fact, the word “bisexual” originally entered the English language to mean what we now say is “unisex”

I love saying “of course” instead of “you’re welcome,” like of course I’m helping you that’s what I do, you were foolish to even consider an alternate dimension in which I’m not helping you. you idiot. you absolute buffoon.

Ahh I do this a lot.

We should fear this guy

I’d do it