Bonus: 

However, it is clear from his sonnets that Shakespeare was part of an interracial polyamorous triad. 126 of his 154 sonnets were love poems addressed to a young man! His girlfriend is clearly described as Black (yep, there were some Black folx living in London, even back then!)

Historians believe that his boyfriend was either the Earl of Southampton or Pembroke. He’s described as very feminine, possibly gender nonconforming or nonbinary in today’s language.

I see why you omitted these details - sexism is more catchy when you neglect the whole story

Also:

BUT NOW I AM LIKE:

“The patient: this 3-day-old little boy was born with torn upper and lower wings. Let’s see how we can help!”

Today the Department of Awesomely Good Deeds salutes costume designer and master embroiderer Romy McCloskey who used her fine skills with delicate materials to help a monarch butterfly she’d raised and who’d emerged from his cocoon with damaged right wings.

“The operating room and supplies: towel, wire hanger, contact cement, toothpick, cotton swab, scissors, tweezers, talc powder, extra butterfly wing”

“Securing the butterfly and cutting the damaged parts away. Don’t worry it doesn’t hurt them. It’s like cutting hair or trimming fingernails”

“Ta-da! With a little patience and a steady hand, I fit the new wings to my little guy”

“The black lines do not match completely and it is missing the black dot (male marking) on the lower right wing, but with luck, he will fly”

“FLIGHT DAY! After a day of rest and filling his belly with homemade nectar, it is time to see if he will fly”

“With a quick lap around the yard and a little rest on a bush, he was off! A successful surgery and outcome! Bye, little buddy! Good luck”