hopeless

why do I have the desire to show others my scars? isn't that messed up?

my best friend told me that he could see visible weight gain in my face, I need to get on my zoom asap and starve

I have to stay sick bc who's going to care about me if I'm doing okay?

I’m relapsing because I can’t get my meds and I can’t kms

I blew my nose and started feeling dizzy, I felt like I was going to fall. its getting bad again

its so fucking stupid how shocked people are about me having an eating disorder. I was raised fat in America, constantly being degraded by strangers and the people ive trusted the most. I dont recall ever being taught to love myself or that my size was ever acceptable. it's easy to say that I should work on loving myself and unlearning the mean things that I haver been taught but all that bullshit is easier said than done. im balls deep into my eating disorder and I want it to kill me

im so fucking tired of breathing, im so fucking tired of telling people how tired I am of breathing, killing myself always sounded like an easier option

I just wanna be addicted to starving myself to the point that it kills me, I know, im broken

I feel my rage more intensely than others

food is poison, why are we still consuming such a thing?

I binge ate weeks and weeks before my intended suicide attempt and now I have to pay the consequences of my fucking actions. fuck