Jamsung

Trinity Santos hates the colour yellow.

As a child, she didn't know that she was any different. She knew about the string leading to your soulmate, of course, but as a child she simply figured that everyone had different colours. And yellow was so pretty!

It wasn't until her sixth birthday that she realised that it was strange. Her aunt had just got married the month before, and during her birthday party she got to talking about finding him. It wasn't some cliché or anything; they had met through work, which Trinity thought was incredibly boring. At least she seemed happy.

Regardless, Trinity asked the question. What colour was their string?

Her aunt had laughed.

And so, on her sixth birthday, Trinity Santos discovered that she was not destined to have a romantic soulmate.

It shaped the way that she saw the world well into her teens, when for the second time in her life, her world was shattered. Her best friend wasn't her soulmate - her string was red, and Trinity tried so hard not to be bitter over it - but their relationship felt as close to soulmates as possible.

Getting that call stripped Trinity bare all over again. The one person that she could rely upon, the first person she'd come out to, her date for prom, was gone. Just like that. The night of senior prom was the first time that she picked up a blade.

The anger carried on with her, alongside the grief and the sadness. She was furious with Rachel for leaving, even though she knew and understood what had happened to her. She was grief stricken and distraught over never seeing her again and it manifested into something ugly, something concrete. And it changed her yet again.

Where there was once a girl that tried so hard for everyone around her, where there was once a girl who was overly bright and bubbly just so that she knew that she'd be accepted, now stood someone hardened and defensive. It wasn't what she wanted, but it was enough. It was safe. She prayed that whichever girl ended up being her soulmate, she would love just as much.

Med school was difficult on her own, but she pulled through, if only to honour Rachel's memory. It had been hard, relocating to Pittsburgh of all places to do her residency, but she was determined to pull through.

She's up early for the first day. Alarm set for 04:00, then 04:30 so that she can feel like she's having a lie-in. Then it's get up, reply to her mother texting her from the night shift and begin to actually get ready.

Trinity moves on autopilot as she gets ready. Hair somehow tamed into a short ponytail and a little makeup so that she doesn't look as tired as she feels before breakfast. She has enough time to make eggs - something that she tells herself she will not take for granted when she eventually doesn't have the energy in the morning - and to sit on her phone for ten minutes before leaving.

Since moving to Pittsburgh, the tug on her string is stronger. She became so used to ignoring it, to pretending that it didn't exist, that it had been a shock the first time it pulled. It's been worse over the last two weeks, especially, changing direction constantly and pulling on her pinkie to the point of annoyance. Today it's particularly feisty, and all she can think of is that today would be the worst possible time to find out who her soulmate is.

Of course, luck is not on her side.

She makes it into PTMC with no issue, changes into her scrubs and manages to get herself a coffee from the cafeteria before the induction. With about ten minutes to 07:00, she makes her way back towards the main atrium where she assumes the other students and new residents will be. The string around her pinkie jerks almost aggressively, as much as she tries to tamp it down, and she begins to plan the best way forward. What if it's a colleague? Fuck, what if it's a patient?

Whoever it is, she hopes that she's at least nice.

She tosses her paper coffee cup in the trash and finally rounds the corner to the space outside the lockers. Her hand actually raises a little bit as the pull becomes strong enough to almost drag her in that direction.

Following the sickly yellow of her string, Trinity's eyes fall upon someone's hand. A man's hand. Her heart drops through her fucking stomach.

When she finally drags her gaze up, the man the hand is attached to is staring back in equal shock. His eyes are wide and wet, mouth slightly agape, and Trinity thinks briefly that he reminds her of a wet cat.

- Robby knew the moment he had to do rotations with Dennis he would have to pray to whatever God there was he would survive without fist fighting the dude, at least for a day. Perhaps his entire rotation time, but he was never an optimist. He just couldn't stand him for whatever reason, maybe it was the way Dennis seemed to easily fit in with patients while he on the other hand had to force out these people to talk to him.

- He just couldn't sport a smile all day like Dennis, he wasn't as soft as Dennis or easy going, he wasn't as trusting of the other staff as Dennis. And it pissed Robby off because he could just fit in like Dennis seemed to. Robby was like a square trying to fit into a circular hole. He was qualified but too jagged. 

- He couldn't help that the desire to give his grandmother a better life had gotten him through school. He had to make a life for himself to take care of her, repay her for all that she had done to make him survive into becoming a man, but he seemed so out of place with everyone. 

- He was jealous of Dennis, bitterly jealous, a feud he started to distance the fact that he felt so... intrigued by his nature. He was in a one-sided war with Dennis and he didn't even know it until Robby started taking his patients. Put notes over Dennis's charts correcting something, like an agonizing presence trying to get rid of him.

- Dennis didn't take too kindly to Robby's sharp comments or glares throughout the day, he had done nothing wrong... maybe Robby had figured out he was gay. That could be the only explanation for how hostile he was being... Dennis couldn't back down though, he hadn't left Nebraska just to be a wimp in the face of a grumpy med student who had it out for him.

- Robby did know Dennis was gay, Dennis was exactly subtle. He also was jealous of that, how Dennis didn't care about what others thought and he just... loved. Robby could never afford that privilege, to be open about his attraction to men... what would his little left of his family he already had think about it all...

- Dennis fought back, he would be tooth-rotting sweet to Robby, in an annoying way to see his eye twitch. Calling Robby Dr. Even though they both knew he wasn't, he would tell all his patients to check in with Dr. Robby before leaving. This left Robby constantly surrounded by people talking to him at all times.

- Robby would get all flustered and Dennis would just laugh from afar. Hoping this would cause Robby to finally call a truce or at least stop picking on him, Dennis lingered after his shift was over just to see if Robby would say anything. Leaning against the lockers checking his pager to see if his ride was there yet.

- Everything the other did got a retaliation, something just bad enough to not get bosses or supervisors involved but it was noticeable to everyone in the ED who had interacted with at least one of them. Ruined lunches, ink all over scrubs, petty things. Stupid things only two people who had no idea why the other was angry in the first place did.

- The cycle continued for weeks, then months. Bets were placed to see who would break first and fight the other man. Bets on who would win the fight. And a single placed bet made by a young nurse named Dana who said they would end up together before the year was over. 

- No one believed she was serious. But no one else saw what she did, saw the lingering looks, the physical closeness. And how if someone else did the same things Robby did, to Dennis, she was positive there would be a broken nose. She could see everything the others couldn't, even Robby and Dennis themselves.

- Maybe if they asked her they would have known that when Robby finally confronted Dennis in the locker room, it would have ended in sloppy heated kissing after a yelling match. One where Robby hadn't even thought to do, he just did, just... felt. Like he had been trying to do since the start of their feud. Trying to get whatever sunshine had stuck to Dennis.

- Robby stood there for a moment, tasting the sweet coffee Dennis had been drinking all day. But then it felt too real, Robby stormed off before Dennis could process it. Leaving Dennis's heart beating out of his chest and a new plan forming in his head... maybe all this anger was to cover up for something. Something that Dennis could help him figure out so he wouldn't be so grumpy... and Dennis really needed some company.

- After that kiss, everything shifted, it was no longer petty pranks or rude staring, it felt personal now. The looks got longer, Dennis would stand closer, poking at Robby's patience by bumping into him. It was a silent war, no words to communicate how they were feeling, what they were. 

- All Robby knew was that he couldn't stop his hands from shaking whenever Dennis was too far away. That he only felt peaceful if he was right next to him, because Dennis always seemed so sure that things would go well. Always seemed steady... everything Robby needed. Robby needed him.... and Dennis needed Robby.

- Dennis needed his assertiveness in the face of rude patients. How Robby never asked him questions about why he did things just accepted them. Never questioned why Dennis always took extra food or slept in the break room... He wouldn't just sit next to him while he napped, shooing everyone out who tried to wake up Dennis.

- Dana won the bet after Dennis walked in wearing Robby's sweater and Robby was trailing behind him looking actually happy for once. The fight was over in a treaty, and now the bets turned to who would admit they were together first.