the hot guy in the basement @riverortiz - Tumblr Blog

Look, unless you wanna help me package this coke, get out of here. I’ve gotta have this shipment ready by midnight.

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winnyhayes:

I know they are. But I wanna go up a cup size. They’d be even better then, right?

So you just like… don’t wanna have sex with me? I mean I get it. I’m not gonna make you. But I almost never get rejected. This is new. And you’re too nice for me to even be upset?

No, I don’t know who you’ve been talking to but bigger doesn’t always mean better. Trust me, guys like natural far more.

I uh...I just, look if you wanna go grab a bite to eat or a drink or something, I’d be more than happy to spend some money on a pretty girl, but I...I couldn’t just do that with you, Winny. It’s not a rejection, you’re just not a girl who should randomly be taken advantage of like that.

#c:winny

winnyhayes:

Are my boobs too small? Because I have an appointment with a plastic surgeon in like, a month.

What? No?! They’re fine...I mean, they’re good...I mean- I uh...

You’re perfect the way you are, Winny. Seriously, you’re like the prettiest girl I’ve seen in my whole life, don’t- don’t ruin that with stupid surgery.

#WHAT DID YOU DO TO RIVER #c:winny

winnyhayes:

I know something that could easily keep you entertained for at least an hour and a half?

Wow. I wish I was one of those guys that only think with their dicks right now, I really do.

I just uh...I was raised to not even kiss a girl till at least the second date, so...

#river comes from a super strict italian family and it's awesome #he's probably one of the only people in all of ctk with both of his parents still alive and still married #c:winny

I don’t have to meet this dude for like another two hours down at the docks, I thought being a drug dealer was supposed to be exciting?

#same river #who wants to come over - watch netflix and chill ;)))#ctkstarter

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trevorcohen

Hm…

I’m not really one to pass up a good Italian meal so why the hell not?

riverortiz

Yeah, bro! That's what I'm talkin' about, a good ol' fashioned BOYS NIGHT.

Let's eat some dank ass food and find some hot ass women.

#im laughing so hard bc river still has no idea who he is #c:trevor

@babblingriver: meet my new partner, dealin' drugs to a city near you #teamworkmakesthedreamwork

#same #tweet

How was your month in the basement?

It was day in and day out of listening to the King brothers drama. It was like watching a soap opera that you can’t shut off.I also got pretty hungry, but I don’t dwell on that shit, it’ll keep you up at night. I ate enough burritos to kill a man, I’m good now.

#what even is river #anon

Are you mad at the Kings for taking you?

Na, war is war, man.Shit happens. Besides, I’m happy to be on the side that doesn’t kidnap pregnant women. That shit gave me PTSD or something.

#river stop sniffing keyboard cleaner #anon #lol these are from 9 years ago srry

asdfjklloveejasmine

Visit Original Link

#this is river's theme song #HOW COULD U LEAVE ON YOM KIPPUR #ipod

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thehenryking

Didn’t like the basement?

riverortiz

To be honest, man, I think I'm going to end up staying awake at night wondering whether or not you and your girl decided to actually 'be together' or not that day. 'Should we make out today or should we just fight about stupid shit instead?' One of my personal favorite story lines.

#:)#c:henry

New apartment. New apartment complex. New apartment complex with a hot tub.

Who's coming over to party?

#i needed to use this gif im sorry #ctkstarter

#xoxo gossip river #im never giving river a real theme

dia-king

Yeeeaah. That was me.

riverortiz

Well, uh. Thanks. It was easier to get over my concussion in a stranger's basement without having to starve at the same time.

#they're even now #c:dia

jackie-prescott

River? Holy shit, I totally thought you were dead.

riverortiz

Na, bro. I think you've got me confused with Cash.

#c:jackie

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