set me free

The curly haired boy was hesitant to return the words to River; not because he didn’t love them; in fact, it was quite the opposite - but once you spoke words out loud, you couldn’t take them back.  That could make or break a relationship, and even though Orion was already in way over his head, he didn’t want anyone to know that.  He shifted slightly, giving River a more serious look.  “I’m not, though.  An amazing person.  I’m a very bad, inconsequential person who most likely won’t amount to anything in life.  The concept had been beating into him so much, he had finally started to believe it.  “I like spending time with you; I love sleeping over and waking up and having pillow fights or making breakfast or just - whatever, you know?”  He paused, playing with a stray thread on his jeans.  “I started like.  Looking into rehab centers.  I don’t really think I need rehab, per se, but I don’t think I can even think about getting clean without help.  Like…. professional help.  I’m sure you’d back me up and support me, but it’s their job to deal with people like me…. you know?”

While River did mean what they said about being patient, Orion’s hesitation still made their heart sink. Even a few of his own sweet nothings would work, something to show that he felt the same way they did even if he couldn’t fully say that he loved them. They expected something more, something that wasn’t just saying he liked having them around. River looked away as well, busying themselves with a loose thread on the hem of their shirt. “I know and I like spending time with you too.” It was so much more than that, but maybe Orion was even less ready than River had first thought. Maybe making things official was moving too fast for him, but they couldn’t be sure and they wouldn’t be able to muster up enough nerve to ask. “Really? That’s awesome! It’s a step in the right direction, so you should be proud of yourself. I’ll always be here for you through whatever. You’re doing something positive. You shouldn’t be so harsh on yourself or listen to the horrible things people have said about you. They’re wrong and this is proof of that. You’re clearly putting in the work to get healthy and to live a better life.” After staying quiet for a few moments, River sighed and lifted their head to look at Orion again. “--I just, I know you can’t say you love me yet, and I understand, but... Are you only able to say you like spending time with me? That kind of...makes me feel weird and a little sad. I don’t know -- I guess I just wanna gauge where your thoughts and feelings are.”  

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Orion commented airily, grinning.  “Oh, I do think I’m a pretty good cook; I won’t ever say that fact is wrong.  I just don’t think I’m the best one, or that anything I do is that good.”  However, the encouragement was nice, and the flush still lingered on his cheeks.  “Well, luckily for you, darling dearest, I am very handy with a knife.”  As he started on the second gourd, he laughed as River came parading back.  “I’m very tempted to just dump all that glitter on you, you know.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” River clapped back, grinning in kind. “Who says you can’t get better? You don’t have to stay a pretty good cook, you can learn and grow and be even better! Everyone starts somewhere, babe. Why would you be any different?” Orion was easy to care for, easy to love given how much skill and potential he actually showed, and simply lacked confidence in his skills and talents. River believed that once he finally found his self-esteem, Orion would be a whole new man. “Dump it all on me? Why?” They laughed, carefully sitting down before they let their hoard drop onto the ground. “Have you been secretly binging Twilight when I’m not around -- get a shiny vampire kink going?” 

The kid got The Sun, which was a remarkably positive card and, unfortunately for Lux, there wasn’t much he could say that was all that negative. This granted him a surprise hug from the little BB8 (to which Lux actively froze up when approached by any type of affection) and with Lux immediately trying to peel the child off of him before more of the gold paint stuck to her chubby little cheeks. “My god, I need to bathe in hand sanitizer,” he shivered, wiping his palms on his pants and giving a child a halfhearted wave as she excitedly waved at him after she returned to her parents. River’s dare was not met with amusement. Lux looked down at the drumstick like it was actively decaying in front of him (who knows, it probably was judging by the frozen grease that stuck it to the paper plate) and physically moved away from it. “Absolutely not, and you can’t just extort candy out of me if I don’t eat leftovers. You’re horrible, what kind of person are you? I ought to bet you $200 dollars you won’t do the damn same– oh wait, I am,” he let out a laugh and waved his hand at the disgusting plate, “I’ll give you the money and tell you a cautionary tale about hooking up with strange men at a rooftop rave. Come on, I know you can’t say no to that.” 

River started to laugh when the child decided to latch onto Lux, his disgusted expression only adding to the humor of the moment. “You’re such a natural. I almost couldn’t tell you were about to vomit on contact.” River wasn’t too keen on children themselves, but they weren’t the one actively entertaining the tiny crowd. All they had to do was simply step aside whenever chubby fingers dropped off a piece of candy or two so the golden skeleton could tell their future in the cards, an act Lux would surely be asked to do again at next year’s event.

“It’s not leftovers, it’s an offering. Though I think it’s funny you’d call that shit leftovers. That sounds like a rich person’s horror story about having to eat the same thing day after day. I promise you real leftovers aren’t that bad,” River teased, more amused laughter leaving their lips. “Some tiny person clearly thought it was the perfect thing to give you! But I mean, if you set the cash out for me to see, I’ll do it. I never back down from a good dare.” River’s finger tapped the bills they already placed on the table, giving Lux an expectant look. “Do I wanna know that story? You’re very surprising. I mean, your sister definitely embodies the ‘I’m better than you’ persona, but you? This is the third time you’ve mentioned having sex with or spending your time with some hairy, sleazy stranger just because he gives you attention. I couldn’t imagine Becca in one of those scenarios, but maybe I’m wrong and she’s just that good at keeping her reputation controlled. You’re more personable than she is -- approachable. I mean, look at your setup here.” River took a step back and spread their arms out to demonstrate their point. “--You’re entertaining kids for free in exchange for whatever little candies they pull out of their pockets. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re actually pretty nice. And your sister? She may not exactly be my cup of tea, but she’s actually pretty funny. She reads like a fuckin’ pro. I think you two are really good actors, if you know what I mean. I think you two are probably pretty cool people.” 

“ hey , “ shifting on the couch , jaden moved a little closer with dark eyes trained on his friend . he was no therapist , but time and time again wandering in and out of those dusty rooms had helped pick up techniques in order to overcome ( or at least begin to overcome ) struggles that piled upon him . if he could help river with even one piece of advice he’d be doing his job as a friend , and wasn’t that the most important thing above all ?? “ i’m not the best , i know that , but if you ever need me i’m right here .. just a message away . even if it’s sitting and watching a movie or grabbing a pizza i’m here . what’s stressing you ?? “ 

River frowned and pulled their knees to their chest, resting their head on their kneecaps as they met Jaden’s gaze. He was certainly flawed, but he was flawed like everyone else, and River didn’t fault him for any of it. “I’m fucking tired, dude. I don’t wanna wake up on my 40th birthday turning on my camera to do sex work. The problem is, this is all I’ve ever done, so I don’t have any shit to put on a resume even if I wanted to. I could go to school, but what the hell would I go for? There’s just...a lot on my shoulders right now because I have to do something different, and I want it to be something that my dad would be proud of, and this just isn’t it anymore. So I’m stuck. I have no tangible skills and I’m wanting to change my life at the same time.” 

-

laika was rather nonchalant when it came to river’s tone , not that she didn’t care but simply for the fact that she didn’t have the energy to pour into such a mundane job . her role was essential in order to maintain her apartment , the clothes on her back , the food in her stomach , and so she’d sit there bored out her skull until five o’clock rolled around and she could go home . nobody cared if she scrolled on twitter or played mobile games , listening to spotify in one earphone most of the day without engaging in the roswell population filtering in and out . “ they have a mind of their own , i’m just tryin’ to help you out . it’s kinda fun seeing you go all hulk on the dryers though , keep on going like that and you’ll need to dish out more money to repair it yourself , “ 

Somehow the machine started to work after River’s abuse, a relieved sigh falling from their lips as the laundromat filled with the normal hum of washers and dryers again. “I’ve been coming to this stupid place for years, and nothing’s ever fixed, so I couldn’t care less to be honest with you. I’m sure they know where I live, so they can bring the issue up with me personally, since I’ve basically paid your wages and their mortgage three times over. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to dish out more money because a machine stopped working and I had to try another one, two or three times over. If my apartment had hookups I’d buy a set already, but it doesn’t, so I gotta keep coming here.” River knew Laika didn’t actually care, and they wanted to mention that the sucker she was currently eating smelled like cough syrup and it was turning their stomach a bit, but shady digs weren’t their style so they kept those thoughts to themselves. “Anything interesting going on lately? I heard that a couple was arguing in here about one of them cheating with the exterminator the other day. It was pretty hilarious.” 

“Are you scared?” Toni smirked. “Alright, fine. You can remain a passenger if you cough up the money for food. The good cancels the evil out.” Toni wasn’t huge into Top 40 music, especially not music that sounded overly produced. “Oh, God, don’t be pregnant. I’m not ready to be Aunt Toni,” the nurse scrunched up her face. Kids were funny sometimes with their lack of a filter, but Toni deeply valued her alone time to decompress. And sleep. Neither things possible with a child running around. “You’d rock the hell out of a baby bump, though,” she conceded. She slowed to a stop at the light and flicked her turn signal on. A soft laugh bubbled from Toni’s chest at the Positions album that no one had shut up about ( joke fully intended ). “Eh, I’m not judging. Ariana hits notes us mere mortals can only dream of. Sweetener and Thank You, Next are far superior to Positions, though, we all know this.”

River laughed and rolled their eyes, giving Toni a playful glare of their own. “Fine, fine, fine. I know you’re just using me for my money, but I guess I can do you a favor. You’re the one with the degree though. This should be the other way around,” they teased. Toni was someone River loved having around, her laid-back personality meshing perfectly with their own, even when things got tough and they had to lean on each other. “I’m for sure not pregnant. I don’t even know that I’ll ever want kids, let alone actually carry one.” Her comment made a shocked laugh leave River’s lips, causing them to lean over and playfully push Toni’s shoulder in response. “Oh my fucking God, don’t you dare do me like that. I don’t need people getting any ideas about me pushing out fucking children. No thank you. I did run into this lady that was talking about some rumor, that shapeshifters in South America were successfully carrying and given birth to children or whatever. I don’t know if I buy that shit, but it’s enough to make me kinda question things.” River happily sung along to some of the verses they’d already memorized, humming along and head bobbing whenever they lost the words. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a superfan, but I do love a good pop song. Thank You, Next didn’t do it for me though. Sometimes she’s a little...cheesy for me? Does that make sense? It’s like I don’t always buy the persona she tries to convey through some of her songs. I thought 7 Rings was absolute shit,” River added with a chuckle, “Just...not even worth the money spent to lay down the melody.” 

“I was on Tinder for a while, but, like, let’s be honest - someone seeing me? I felt like ninety percent of my matches were kinksters, and I was just like… Instant unmatch, you know? Granted, it’s Tinder, it’s for hookups, I shouldn’t be surprised,” Sugar hummed, thinking about their experiences on the app for a moment before their shoulders lifted in an almost dismissive shrug. “I thought about Bumble, but it’s… confusing for me, I guess? I mean, a big selling point is that women on that app message first, right? But then, I feel like… I fall into this grey area? I mean, I haven’t actually downloaded the app so I don’t know how it works, but that was definitely, like… The idea that kind of put me off of it. Not to mention the fact that I hate messaging people first, I always feel really weird about it. I never have good pickup lines.” When the other slowed down, a faint laugh fell from Sugar’s lips, before they gave a small nod of their head. “Okay, sure, I’ll go first.” Taking a few steps forward, they carefully looked around the corner, having to take a few more steps out to be able to see clearly - and then they were looking back towards River, a grin spreading across their face. “It’s safe - how about we give it a little bit more effort before giving up, hm?”

“Now I didn’t know that about Bumble. That’s kinda fucked up. What are you supposed to do when they have women message first, and you’re not even a woman to begin with? You’d think with all of these advancements in technology and people’s acceptance of gender and all that, they’d make some kind of inclusive dating app already. It’s either that or you gotta do things the old fashion way, get drunk with the same people you went to school with, and cross your fingers that they’re good in bed. It’s a mess. No one deserves to hook up with the guy you shared a math class with, who kinda sorta had a glow up, but he also definitely still lives in his mom’s basement. Not that I’m speaking from experience or anything.” River rolled their eyes and gave Sugar an unamused look when they returned from their sad attempt at checking the path out for jumpscares, though there was no malice behind it. “Bitch, you don’t know whether its safe or not. The whole point is that we can’t see them until we get up close,” they laughed quietly, trying not to alert any nearby actors, “Your guess is as good as mine, and mine is shit. We’re just gonna have to walk out and see what happens.”

Emmanuel’s ego was currently being fluffed in a way it usually wasn’t, and this fact made him smile. He ducked his head down in a fight against his own humility and looked at them. “Trade secret, I’m afraid,” he shrugged, passing off his ability to hold his breath indefinitely as some sort of party trick. “I’m a lifeguard, it comes with the territory. But for sure, if there’s ever a contest for it, sign me up!” he cheered, leaning closer to them. “I go for the stems, that’s all I’ll tell you,” he muttered, half-grinning.

River narrowed their eyes a bit at Manny’s explanation, but they didn’t verbally call him out on it. They’d had enough life experiences and interactions to know when someone was feeding them a lie, and they also knew that sometimes a lie was told to protect the person telling it. More likely than not, this lie fell in the latter category. “Oh yeah, sure. The fucking stems. As if I can even get a hold on those with my teeth when I’m underwater,” River joked, patting Manny on the back in congratulations. “I’m pretty sure you won the whole night, dude. You’re gonna go down in history as the apple whisperer of Roswell. How does it feel?”