"ɪ ᴡᴏɴᴅᴇʀ ʜᴏᴡ ᴍᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴜꜱ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴡᴇ'ʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴜᴄᴋʏ ᴏɴᴇꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴜʀᴠɪᴠᴇ ᴛʜɪꜱ?"

a writing blog for skyrim's favorite soldier , penned by holly! a study on innocence and oaths, keeping kindness and faith when the end of the world is near. fighting impossible things with impossible people & finding comfort in the (not so) average.

-> carrd : ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴠᴇɴᴛᴜʀᴇᴅ , ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ɢᴀɪɴᴇᴅ.

— ASSASSINS. hadvar found the use of them dishonorable, but he could not deny their usefulness. perhaps if they could find their targets, this war could end with less bloodshed. that is - if they were used on those that deserved it. using his blade is an easy thing to do, physically. mentally, it typically plagued him in the hours after ... but tonight , hadvar believes he will sleep well.

they came for viserra in the night, when one could suspect a guard's eyes to be weary. there was chaos in the house of the queen, and perhaps the enemy thought her and her own, weak. she was not, and by extension, hadvar wasn't either. viserra opened the door at the commotion to see a seething lover, blood spattered on his thin chest plate and dripping in thin rivulets from his sword. it was uncommon to see hadvar angry. he was not immune to it, and now she could see it in the quick rise and fall of his shoulders and the mutilated figures at his feet.

his arms had yet to rest. she had witnessed his final cut and her would-be killer's last breath. his hands were still tight around the hilt of his sword - his arms stretched tight, taunt, teeth clenched. the rattling of death lingers with the smell of copper.

was this the first? the first time viserra saw that her sworn sword and shield was capable of such destruction? the knowing was there, always, or the queen would not have made him so, but it is a one thing to know and another thing altogether to see. and perhaps, even more brutal it was, that they come for her. his patience, good temperament, and mercy had all ceased when the assassins dared to breathe the air meant for the princess.

and now he is a gross, bloodied thing and he is sure that she will lose the love she has for him now that his brutality is revealed. but he would do it again, he would show this wretched side of his abilities, if it kept her safe. and he is so, so sorry.

" are those my monkeys .... " " FUCK that's my circus ... "

— the time had come. they had all gathered around the table of the high council with anxiety tightly wound in their chests. blades would need to be at the ready by dawn. hadvar's experience with the forge had come in handy in small measures. he had made a gift, a small dagger, more decorative a hilt than necessary, and nothing like valyrian steel, but ...

he looks over, between the hunched shoulders of maestars and masters and sees the rider. the one that seems to see him through his armor, through skin and tissue down to the very bone. and what will happen when the dust clears? he stares at her in return, the queen's short speech requiring no return.

also i updated his ako7k verse but im thinking about changing it again. -> what if instead of kingsguard- he was a landed knight who picked dunk's side in the tourney.. that would put haddy back in the action instead of a bystander. still very targ loyalist (to keep in line with his canon) and while a very good fighter, likely gets decked tf out by maekar or the actual kingsguard. #HeTried , any thoughts?

also created a new carrd and corrected hadvar's family origins as blacksmiths, not loggers. which isn't that big of a deal but it bothered me that I got it wrong. also creates a new hobby for haddy in his spare time, forging and leatherwork.

he maps out their trek in his mind. his family was not one of many riches but hadvar had saved ... he could rent them a carriage to ivarstead & then a room. a small hamlet , he remembers, that could keep them the night before they carry themselves across the bridge. " the seven thousand steps are perilous and only the most devoted have ever made it to the castle ... " but he is not a man of deep cowardice and ruined dreams. if she wills it, he will go. and he has yet to have his fill of this mystery woman, this not-goddess, as she swears herself to be. ( he remembers how the wildlife flocked to her gentleness. he is not convinced. )

" my uncle alvor lives in riverwood , we can go there first. and the inn there if you'd like a drink , though i cannot speak for its quality. "