Rittenhoused

Still haven’t done your patriotic duty as an American and voted yet today? No worries, there is still time to get out and vote! Polls are open to 8 pm in the state of Pennsylvania.

If you need more information on today’s General Election – such as polling locations, ballot questions and who’s on the ballot other than Barack Obama and Mitt Romney – check out the Philadelphia City Commissioners’ election page here.

There was a time in America long, long ago when the political convention really meant something. Before the convention would start, we might not know who would come out of the big gathering as the party’s nominee for president. These days, we know who the nominees will be months in advance, and the conventions are nothing more than dog and pony shows designed to fabricate an image and message around a candidate.

There is only way to survive through excruciating speech after speech if you so choose to watch the convention: with a drinking game! Allow me to assist you in getting through this week’s Republican National Convention as you watch people tell you that “government is not the answer” at their huge, government convention.

Whenever you see someone draped in an American flag with more than 50 lapel pins and a hat shaped like an elephant’s trunk, jumping up and down and chanting USA whenever someone waxes poetic about precluding people from being able to be treated for preventable disease, take a shot from a medicine cup.

When Rick Santorum expresses concern about with whom you conduct your private, sexual relations, lock your bedroom door, and fix yourself a Sex on the Beach. Make it something tall and stiff whenever a professional politician discreetly shuffles aside to create distance between himself or herself and national punch line Donald Trump.

Whip up a batch of cosmos in martini classes and clink them together whenever a person without a uterus gives a speech containing exhaustive detail about what legal restrictions and mandates are good for women.

Whenever someone hypocritically professes to strictly adhering to the teachings of both Ayn Rand and Jesus Christ, bless yourself and take a drink of communion wine.

Whenever the television cameras pan to celebrities in the crowd, take a nice fancy drink. Note: for the purposes of this particular drinking game, Kid Rock, Ted Nugent, Jeff Foxworthy and the Oak Ridge Boys count as celebrities.

Take several drinks of milk if you get a strange tingle inside when you see one of those handsome Romney boys and feel kind of guilty about it. Allow yourself an extra swig if you have trouble concentrating because you’re distracted by their immaculate, pearly white teeth.

So you don’t overdose, merely take a quarter of a shot whenever someone mentions the “traditional American family.” Make it a whole shot of something nice and strong if the person mentioning this phrase is obviously a closet homosexual.

Likewise, whenever someone mentions that they’re speaking for “all Americans,” have a drink of your most patriotic beer (PBR?) as you see the speaker completing that thought with, “except for….”

Pour yourself a crystal fluke of your finest champagne if someone comes out on stage riding an Olympian dressage horse.

For the sake of balance, take a drink of an alcohol-spiked vegan smoothie every time a liberal protestor in dreads embarrasses himself or herself in the name of a cause you can’t quite figure out.

Shotgun a Molson if you’re completely envious of our Canadian neighbors to the North that their election seasons are a mere four weeks long, allowing them to avoid the insane year and a half long parade of horribles that we call our Presidential election campaign.

In today’s world there’s buzz. The kind that will catch the eye of a few people in the know. Then, there’s buzz-buzz. The kind that make it onto the internet and grow legs longer than the fabulous Heidi Klum. Such is the case with Jay-Z’s upcoming “Made in America” festival.

The festival in and of itself created buzz. I mean, there’s nothing quite like the world-dominating king of rap hamming up with our own Mayor Michael Nutter. Then, the lineup was announcing and that was certainly buzz-worthy. With names like Pearl Jam, Janelle Monae, D’Angelo, and of course Jay-Z it was all anyone was talking about. Then, the rest of the lineup was released and the addition of names like Gary Clark Jr., Chris Cornell, Drake and the return of Run DMC. Again…total buzz. But, now…NOW is the real buzz-worthy moment.

With less than a month until the concert weekend, everyone is buzzing about a possible Rockumentary about the whole event. And, since the rest of the event has been a parade of the who’s who, this documentary is no exception. Rumor has it that none other than Ron Howard will be directing the film along side the producers that include Academy Award-winner Brian Grazer, former record label exec Steve Stoute, and, of course, Jay-Z.

Now that’s buzz.

The film will reportedly document how Jay-Z is putting the event together. His relevance in the music industry and staying power despite the uncharacteristically long career are the inspiration behind the film.

“Jay stayed the king for a very long time … I can’t even begin to explain how he is capable of remaining relevant. He is a phenom, like a musical Michael Jordan,” says Grazer.

Snow is probably the last thing you want to talk about now, in mid-August, as the summer is coming to a close and temperatures hover around the 90s. Sun and sand are what’s on the forefront of most people’s minds. Or, if you like cooler weather, you might be looking forward to long pants, cooler breezes, football and the line of fall beer offerings.

But snow? Not snow. Let’s not talk about snow.

Those damn meteorologists, though, they just HAVE to look ahead to the future, don’t they? Like it’s their job or something.

After a quiet winter last year – at least in terms of snowfall – these weather guys and gals are predicting that the Northeast Corridor is going to get quite a dumping this time around.

“I think the East Coast is going to have some battles with some big storms,” Paul Pastelok, Accu-Weather’s lead long-term forecaster in State College, Pa., said.

Above-normal snowfall is expected for the major cities along I-95, which would mean something north of Philadelphia’s average snowfall of 22.8 inches. How far north is hard to predict at this point, but the cold weather is expected to “phase” in, and the big storms aren’t expected until January and February.

With the warm summer months we’ve been having, why is heavy snow predicted? Because of the presence of El Niño or La Niña. El Niño is classified by above-normal water temperatures in the central Pacific Ocean, which warms the air above the Pacific, which causes weather patterns to change globally. This weather pattern creates a strong southern jet stream that, when it phases with the northern branch of the jet stream, can create big storms in the East.

Did you follow that? Neither did I.

Suffice it to say, though, that if this El Niño character does indeed form as is predicted, we can all expect to strain our backs shoveling snow over and over again.

No more Shane Victorino. No more Hunter Pence.

Goodbye starting center fielder. Goodbye starting right fielder.

Goodbye .261 average, 9 home runs, 40 RBIs, 46 runs, 24 stolen bases and $9.5 million salary.

Goodbye .271-17-59-59-4-$10.4M.

Hello five players you’ve probably never heard of before – except maybe outfielder Nate Schierholtz.

Is it 2013 yet?

It’s going to be a painful final two months of the season for the Philadelphia Phillies and their fans. Citizen Bank Park’s 200+ game sellout streak could end in coming weeks, as the more casual fans decide not to pony up to watch a baseball team that has given up for this year. Who out there remembers the mid-1990s and empty Veterans Stadium?

The Victorino and Pence trades were as much about shedding salary and avoiding the luxury tax – for this year and next – as they were about getting back solid prospects for the future.

Schierholtz is a fill-in for Pence in right field, but doesn’t have superstar potential. The Phillies also received Double-A catcher/first baseman Tommy Joseph and Single-A pitcher Seth Rosin in the Pence deal. Joseph has serious potential, according to scouts.

In exchange for Victorino, Philly received young relief pitcher Josh Lindblom and pitcher Ethan Martin, who has a power arm.

They are two trades that helped re-stock the Phillies’ farm system, but, maybe more importantly, they free up money for the team to try to contend again next season.

GM Ruben Amaro Jr. says that’s exactly what he expects the team to do, and he better be right. The Phillies’ core players are aging and expensive, and the team’s window of opportunity for another World Series championship is starting to close quickly.

It’s going to be a busy off-season for the Phillies who will have to find three replacement starters in the outfield (can Domonic Brown be one?), one at third base (goodbye Placido Polanco?) as well as replacements in the starting rotation (goodbye Joe Blanton?) and the bullpen.

Much has been written already about the Philadelphia Flyers’ bold offer to the Nashville Predators’ restricted free agent defenseman Shea Weber. The details, in case you are living under a rock, are on vacation, don’t pay attention to hockey news in the summer, or just plain don’t like the NHL…

• Late Wednesday night, news broke that the Flyers and Weber agreed to a restricted free agent offer sheet that totals 14 years and roughly $110 million. Because Weber is a restricted, and not unrestricted, free agent, the Predators still own his rights and can choose to match the offer. If they match, they must pay Weber the terms of the Flyers’ offer. If they don’t match, the Flyers must give the Predators their next four first-round draft picks. The Predators have six more days to decide what to do.

• Because the Predators could still match the offer sheet, the Flyers have by no means completed the acquisition of Weber – one of the league’s best defenseman. However, what they have done is prevent Weber from playing for all teams in the NHL except for the Flyers or Predators. If the Predators don’t match the offer, Weber comes to Philly for the next 14 years. If they do match, he signs with Nashville for the next 14 years.

• The Flyers tried to work out a trade with Nashville before resorting to the offer sheet route, but the price got to be too high. Reports are that the Predators were requiring both Brayden Schenn and Sean Couturier, plus other assets, in a straight trade for Weber. So Flyers GM Paul Holmgren went bold and extended the restricted free agent offer sheet. Despite the offer sheet, the two teams could still agree to a trade for Weber, a polite gesture from the Flyers to the Predators that says, “hey, no hard feelings, guys.” Rumors have already swirled that Jakub Voracek could be sent to Nashville along with some draft picks if Nashville decides they want to let Weber leave.

• Before the Flyers’ offer sheet was official, Nashville GM David Poile repeatedly stated that he would match any offer extended to Weber, his team’s captain. But the Flyers crafted their offer in a way that could seriously hamper the Predators financially. While Nashville could easily absorb the $7.857 million salary cap hit that would come along with the offer, and probably even the total monetary value of the deal, they might have a hard time forking up all the up-front, guaranteed money the contract requires. Because of the way the Flyers structured the deal, with low base salaries and high bonuses, Weber is due $56 million in the first four years of the deal. It’s something Philly can easily afford, but can Nashville?

The Predators officially have until next Wednesday to make a decision, but they’ve probably already made up their minds, after spending all of yesterday digesting the details of the offer and responding to media inquiries.

How long they’ll go before revealing their intentions is anyone’s guess at this point, but one thing is for sure: By next Thursday, the Flyers will either have one of the league’s best defenseman in orange and black anchoring their blue line next season, or they’ll be back at square one – searching for alternate ways to improve the team.

Only July 4, Philadelphia Phillies radio play-by-play announcer Scott Franzke vaulted himself to the top of my “favorite Philadelphia sports broadcasters” list. While calling a Phillies game against the New York Mets that day, Franzke let his Philly pride shine brightly – maybe a little too brightly.

In a blunder that is receiving national attention, Franzke, who thought the radio broadcast had gone to commercial break, shouted into the mic: “Will somebody figure out how to fucking get Scott Hairston out? He stinks! Jesus Christ!”

Franzke was expressing his frustration at the Phillies’ lack of ability to not let up a home run to Mets outfielder Scott Hairston, or, even better, get him out at all. In only 34 at-bats against the Phillies this season, Hairston has a .324 average with 5 home runs and 8 RBIs. Franzke is absolutely disgusted by that stat line because Hairston isn’t very good against anybody else. He is a career .244 hitter and has AVERAGED 9.7 HRs per year! Yet, somehow, the Phillies can’t keep him in the ballpark.

Sound clip aside, Franzke is right: Scott Hairston does stink, just not against Philadelphia. Here are some other professional athletes that fit that bill.

Cody Ross

No Phillies fan will ever forget the six-game stretch the then-San Francisco Giants outfielder put together against them in the 2010 National League Championship Series. Ross, a career .261 hitter who has hit more than 14 HRs only twice in 10 years, looked like Babe Ruth against the Phillies. In those six games, Ross lead the Giants to the World Series by hitting .300 with 3 HRs and 5 RBIs. And it wasn’t just what he did but when he did it. His home runs were always backbreaking, and whenever the Giants needed a hit, Ross responded. After his spectacular 2010 postseason, Ross signed a 1-year deal with the Giants for $6.3 million, then promptly hit only .240 the following year.

Rod Barajas

The Phillies were looking for a catcher to replace long-time backstop Mike Lieberthal in 2007, and they turned to Rod Barajas. In his three prior seasons with the Texas Rangers, Barajas hit .253 while averaging 12.33 HRs and 53 RBIs per season. In 2007 with the Phillies, Barajas disappointed, to say the least, by hitting .230 with only 4 HRs and 10 RBIs. He spent only that one season in Philly, thankfully, and eventually cleared the way for current catcher Carlos Ruiz. What’s worse than Barajas’ performance in Philadelphia has been his performance against the Phillies over the last three years. In just 49 at-bats over that time, he has hit .327 with 6 HRs and 13 RBIs. Where did that come from??

Jeff Conine

Conine always seemed to be clutch come playoff time. That’s why the Phillies signed the veteran outfielder/first baseman in 2006. Of course, they didn’t make the playoffs that year, so it didn’t really matter. Overall, Conine was a serviceable Major Leaguer, playing 17 seasons and recording 214 HRs and a .789 OPS. Against the Phillies, though, he performed like a Hall of Famer. In 425 at-bats against them, he hit 14 HRs with a .850 OPS!

Joe Jurevicius

Philadelphia Eagles fans hate Joe Jurevicius as much as Phillies fans hate Ross – and this even though Jurevicius is a graduate of Penn State University. Jurevicius played 10 seasons in the NFL, scoring 29 total touchdowns. He scored 2 of those TDs in 9 career games against the Eagles, along with 15 receptions and 217 yards. But what puts Jurevicius on this list is not necessarily his career numbers but one play in particular. In the 2002 postseason, he ripped the hearts out of Eagles fans after catching a pass over the middle and sprinting 71 yards down the field. The play lead to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers go-ahead score against the heavily-favored Eagles.

Chris Boniol

Who? Boniol, if you remember, was one of the better placekickers in the NFL in the mid-1990s – well, at least when he played for the Dallas Cowboys and against the Eagles. In 1995, Boniol successfully converted 96.4% of his field goal attempts. In 1996, he was 88.9%. Then he signed with the Eagles and dropped all the way down to 71% in 1997 and 66.7% in 1998. Not surprisingly, his tenure in Philly lasted only those two years. To make matters worse, he was great against the Eagles, connecting on 13-of-14 attempts (92.9%) in 7 career games against them.

Ruslan Fedotenko

Apparently, $150 billion (with a b) and 18 years.

“In the future, to move more people that are coming to the region, we have to increase speeds,” says Amtrak spokesman Steve Kulm. “We have to get to next generation high speed rail.”

So, in order to meet that demand and not die off all together the way, say, horse and buggies have, Amtrak has big, big plans for the Philly-NYC corridor.

In addition to simply shutting more and more people between the two cities, the Philadelphia side of the equation would involve some rearranging of the stations. The historic 30th Street Station would lose its status as the city’s main gateway to the rails and instead Market East would become Amtrak’s high-speed hub. In addition to the Center City switch, a station would also be added at the Philadelphia International Airport.

But first it needs to raise 151 billion bucks and says federal funding is almost a must.

“Taxes that provide investment in things that underpin the economy for growth, stability and prosperity are good investments to make,” Guzzetti argues. “So that’s the way it has to be seen.”

Which begs the question: Is it all worth it.

The unofficial first half of the Major League Baseball season officially ended with the conclusion of yesterday’s games, and it couldn’t have come any sooner for the Philadelphia Phillies. Despite starting the season with stars Ryan Howard and Chase Utley on the disabled list, this was not the start that anyone – myself included – envisioned for the team that has won five straight National League East titles.

A drop-off from last year’s 102-win season should have been expected, considering the fill-in players who had to play early on, but a 37-50 record in the first half is still hard to fathom. That mark puts the Phillies 14 games behind the Washington Nationals in the division at the half-way point. Are we back in the 1990s, or is this 2012?

Here are some more disturbing facts from the first half:

• The Phillies have the fifth worst record in the National League and are tied for the eighth worst record in the Majors.

• In addition to being 14 games behind the Nationals, the Phillies are 10 games out of a Wild Card spot. Their chance of making the playoffs is estimated at 0.7%.

• They have a run differential of -28. They have allowed 396 runs and scored 368.

• Their team ERA is 4.23 (ranked 22nd) and their batting average against is .260 (21st), thanks in large part to a bullpen that has been shaky, to say the least.

• Their team batting average (.262 – 10th) isn’t that bad, but without Howard and Utley, they have lacked power (84 HRs – 17th).

• They’ve lost 6 of their 7 games in July, and 10 of their last 11 games overall.

• To finish the season at .500 – which in March would have been considered a complete failure – the Phillies will have to go 45-30 (.600) over the rest of the season. To put that in perspective, only two teams in the Majors finished the first half with a .600 or better winning percentage.

To put it lightly, the first half of the season has not been pretty.

The Phillies and the rest of the league will get to sit back and refresh over the next few days while the league holds its annual All-Star festivities. They’ll be back in action on Friday and will play 16 games before the MLB trading deadline on July 31. In that time, the team is going to have to show some serious potential for a turnaround, otherwise GM Ruben Amaro Jr. will likely do his best to sell off assets – namely Cole Hamels, Shane Victorino and Juan Pierre – in return for young, promising players.

Being sellers instead of buyers at the trade deadline would feel strange. Over the last few years, the Phillies have traded away their own young, promising talent in exchange for players who could help them now – names like Hunter Pence, Joe Blanton, Roy Oswalt, Cliff Lee, Brad Lidge and Roy Halladay.

Those trades helped bring Philadelphia a World Series title in 2008 and have made them one of the most successful franchises in baseball over the last five years. Of course, it’s easy to second-guess the moves now, with the team doing so poorly and lacking talent at the minor-league level. Yesterday’s annual MLB Futures Game was a stark reminder of some of the potential stars they traded away, as CSNPhilly’s Jim Salisbury pointed out in an article here.

There are haters in Philadelphia who are using the Phillies’ failures so far this year to criticize management for leaving their farm system bare. But who among us would honestly trade that World Series title and five straight division crowns for young prospects who still may never succeed at the Major League level? I would venture to say there aren’t many out there.

Still, this team has enough talent on their Major League roster to bounce back and compete in 2013, even if they do decide to trade away Hamels, Victorino, Pierre and others. In a few short weeks, we’ll all know whether that’s the path the team will take, or whether they’ll make one last, desperate run at the postseason this year.

The Philadelphia Flyers are doing all they can to add two of the biggest names on the NHL free agent market, but whether they land either one of them is anyone’s guess at this point.

Since NHL free agency opened yesterday at noon, much of the buzz on the rumor mill has centered around Ryan Suter (Nashville Predators) and Zach Parise (New Jersey Devils). They are, respectively, the top available defenseman and forward on the market, and teams around the league are lining up to try to acquire their services.

Count the Philadelphia Flyers as one of those teams. Reports are swirling that the Flyers extended the largest financial offers to both players – two similar 12-year contracts worth at least $80 million and maybe as high as $110 million. If money is what Suter and Parise want, then Philadelphia is where they will end up calling home.

But it’s not all about the money for these two, at least it doesn’t look that way at this point. Suter is reported to prefer returning to Nashville, but the Predators might not have what it takes to bring him back. If Nashville is out of the picture, another team in the Western Conference might be the more likely destination. And Parise? He also would love to return to New Jersey, and if not, a Western team like Minnesota could be at the top of his radar.

Of course, things can change, and change quickly, in free agency. What is being reported as true now can be revealed as a smokescreen later. Parise might make his final decision today, while Suter is expected to take a little longer to decide. If the Flyers aren’t able to land either of these top players, look for them to turn to the trade market. Can you say Shea Weber or Bobby Ryan?

On the MLB

Have the Philadelphia Phillies made the decision to give up on this season? Probably not just yet, but they are assuredly making preparations to go that route if things don’t turn around dramatically in the next two weeks.

Over the weekend, the Phillies jettisoned off-season additions Chad Qualls (to the New York Yankees) and Jim Thome (to the Baltimore Orioles). Reports also surfaced that general manager Ruben Amaro Jr. was beginning to gauge interest in free-agent-to-be Cole Hamels.

Now don’t freak out just yet – this doesn’t mean a trade is imminent. It does mean that Phillies’ brass is exploring the possibility now so that they are prepared, just in case, as the trade deadline approaches at the end of this month.

And can you really blame them for doing so?

We’re exactly halfway through the MLB season, and the Phillies find themselves 11 games out of first place in the National League East division, with a record of 36-45. They were swept by the Miami Marlins this past weekend and have lost 5 games in a row. By the time Ryan Howard and Roy Halladay come off the DL, and by the time Chase Utley is ready to play everyday, the Phillies might be officially out of contention.

The next few weeks should go a long way in determining the direction of the Philadelphia Phillies’ 2012 season. With a 34-40 record, they sit 9 games out of first place in the National League East division and 5.5 games out of a Wild Card spot.

Major League Baseball’s unofficial halfway point, the All Star Break, is only two weeks away, and the annual trade deadline is only three weeks after that. While it’s only the end of June, the Phillies are going to have to make a move up the standings soon, otherwise, the team’s management may start preparing to sell off pieces, instead of improving the team, come July 31.

The Phillies are in the midst of a poor stretch – they’ve lost 2 in a row, 6 out of their last 10, and are 7-15 in the month of June. So what better time to welcome back injured star Chase Utley?

Utley, who has missed the entire season with knee injuries, will be back in the Philadelphia area this week, playing a Triple-A game for Lehigh Valley on Tuesday. The team’s official website is reporting that, if all goes well, Utley could be back in the Phillies lineup as early as Wednesday.

Utley would certainly be a welcome addition to a Phillies’ lineup that seems to lack an identity and leadership. While the offense has started to produce lately – they rank 12th in the league with 317 runs scored on the year – adding another productive bat, and a leader in the clubhouse, should pay huge dividends. In 9 rehab games at Class-A Clearwater, Utley only went 5-for-32 at the plate with 1 home run and 5 RBIs, but his mere presence in the lineup should boost the entire team.

Will it be enough to vault the Phillies back to the top of the National League standings? On its own, probably not. But maybe his return can serve as a motivating factor for the rest of the team and help the club climb out of the cellar in the NL East and back into contention.

One young Haddonfield, N.J., athlete is heading to the U.S. Open. Not as a golfer, but as the manager, trainer and caddy for the youngest athlete ever to qualify for one of the most prestigious golf tournaments in America.

Chris Gold, a 25-year-old golfer and graduate of Haddonfield Memorial High School, has been training 14-year-old Andy Zhang for the past five months. Not even old enough to drive, buy a scratch off lottery ticket, or attend an R-rated movie, Zhang will tee it up on Thursday at 8:21 a.m. for the first round of the 112th U.S. Open at the Olympic Club in San Francisco.

Gold will caddy for Zhang during the event. He caddies for the young golfer as often as he can, Gold said, but many of the junior tournaments that he participates in don’t allow caddies.

Zhang is the youngest athlete to every qualify for the U.S. Open. To put it in perspective, Tiger Woods, arguably the greatest golfer of all time, was 20 when he made his U.S. Open debut in 1997. He was, however, coming off a record setting Masters victory, so he has Zhang beat in that regard.

It’s been a fantastic few days, Gold said, as the pair wasn’t sure that they were even going to be invited to the U.S. Open. After winning their way through the local qualifying round, Zhang was one of the top five finishers out of 83 Nationwide Tour golfers in the sectional tournament.

Zhang shot a 69 in a local qualifier and then 70 and 72 in two sectional rounds. He lost in a playoff, but was able to secure the fifth overall finish and claimed the second alternate position.

The championship event is the only truly “open” USGA tournament, with amateurs like Zhang able to play if they make the cut. Other championship tournaments are only open to golfers with PGA or Nationwide Tour cards.

Due to two golfers dropping out because of injury, Gold said he received an interesting phone call on Sunday.

“Jeff Hall from the USGA told us we moved from number five to the number two alternate on the list earlier this week. He said it would be a good idea for us to come out here, he was hinting it to us, but he didn’t outright say anything. He simply said it wouldn’t hurt to come out,” Gold said. “We came out Monday, we landed in San Francisco at 1:30 p.m. We were on the putting green Monday afternoon when I got the call. He said that we’re in the tournament.”

Withdrawals of Paul Casey (shoulder) and Brandt Snedeker (ribs) opened the tournament up for Zhang.

The duo didn’t have much time to process the information, as they were scheduled for a practice round 7 a.m. Tuesday with PGA pros Bubba Watson and Webb Simpson. Watson, of course, won the 2012 Masters Tournament this past April.

Gold was introduced to Zhang when Zhang’s father approached him at the driving range at Reunion Resort golf in Orlando, which is Gold’s training course. Zhang is a member of the country club and his father was looking for a young professional/trainer to help mold his son’s game.

“I was on the range at Reunion Resort, he’s a member there and Andy’s dad came up to me and asked me if I could help him out. It started out as being two to three days a week, but then expanded to five and six,” Gold said. “I love being on the course, I love being around kids. I want to play pro golf, but this can’t hurt at all. You need money and I have a tight budget. It’s great experience.”

Gold attends lessons with Zhang, tutors him on the driving range, and takes notes during Zhang’s tournament to help improve his performance.

He plays well over his age and never gets nervous, Gold said, which is a wonder for a 14-year-old. He’s a fantastic ball striker, it’s his best strength, and Gold said that if he plays his best, he could most certainly make the cut in the U.S. Open.

On Tuesday afternoon, he made the same comment to Tony Kornheiser and Mike Wilbon, co-hosts of ESPN’s sports show “Pardon the Interruption,” and Gold said they immediately blew his statement out of proportion.

Yep. You heard that right. Philadelphia cheesesteaks and a Baltimore strip club. What could be better than that?

If you answered that question with, “Ummm…how about anything else on this planet,” then you can consider yourself a sane human being. Because nothing sounds more disgusting, at least to me, than a combo of a Philadelphia cheesesteak and a Baltimore strip club. That’s just me.

Don’t get me wrong, I love myself a Philadelphia cheesesteak. But eating one at a dark strip club, with that waft of perfume, and naked women dancing around? Maybe I’m crazy, but that doesn’t sound too appetizing.

Tony Luke’s and Scores Gentlemen’s Club in Baltimore are banking on patrons disagreeing with me. Tonight, the pair will celebrate the grand opening of the South Philadelphia sandwich shop inside the Baltimore gentlemen’s club, starting at 9 pm, according to PR Newswire.

Along with your $20 lap dance and $12 beer, Scores patrons can fill their belly with cheesesteaks, chicken cheesesteaks, roast pork sandwiches, chicken cutlets and Pazotti’s. The food will be served weekdays from noon until 1:30 am, and weekends from 7 pm until 1:30 am. That means that, if you have too many drinks one night at Scores, you don’t have to hop in a cab or walk to a late-night dining establishment – that is, if you haven’t blown all your money on the scantily-clad women.

It’s always big news whenever the Pope is involved, whether you’re a Catholic or not. So it’s no surprise that the announcement that Pope Benedict XVI will hold the 2015 World Meeting of Families in Philadelphia brought with it a lot of publicity this week.

The Pope is an international figurehead, and his arrival in any city in the world brings with it attention, awe, excitement and, in most cases, financial windfall. So the Pope’s selection of Philadelphia couldn’t come at a better time for both the city in general and the Archdiocese of Philadelphia specifically.

There has been a lot of recent attention on the local Archdiocese, and most of it hasn’t been good. From the ongoing sex abuse trial against Monsignor William Lynn and other members of the clergy, to the constant removal of new priests in the region, to reports of a $12.3 million budget deficit for the last fiscal year, most of the publicity surrounding the Catholic faith in the Philadelphia region has been negative in tone.

What a shock.

But maybe Pope Benedict XVI’s arrival in Philadelphia, even if he won’t officially be here for another three years, will turn that around.

“It’s fitting that this gathering, which celebrates the cornerstone of society, will take place in America’s cradle of freedom. The Holy Father’s choice is a gift to the local Church in Philadelphia and to the whole nation,” said Philadelphia Archbishop Charles Chaput.

In 1992, then-Pope John Paul II established the World Meeting of Families, a five-day event that is held every three years and is designed to fortify the sacred bonds of marriage and family.

One-third of the Major League Baseball season is over, and one thing is crystal clear to me: The Philadelphia Phillies can’t compete for the World Series title this year, at least not with their current roster. With stars Roy Halladay, Chase Utley and Ryan Howard all out of action, and with Jim Thome, Layne Nix, Jose Contreras, David Herndon and Michael Stutes all on the DL as well, it could be tough for the team to make the playoffs at all.

In years past, General Manager Ruben Amaro Jr. would have responded to similar situations with a bang, scouring the free agent and trade markets for ways to improve the team. That type of response doesn’t seem likely this year, though, not because Amaro doesn’t have the desire to do so, but because the Phillies lack the assets necessary to pull off any moves that could have an impact.

It’s not just the lack of minor league talent that would be necessary to pull off a big trade; it’s also the lack of available money the team has – or, rather, wants to spend – to increase payroll.

Just last week, former Phillies pitcher Roy Oswalt signed with the Texas Rangers for the rest of this year, a deal that will bring him $4 million if he makes the big league roster by July 1 and an extra $1 million if he makes 10 starts this year. In years past, that’s a deal Amaro would have signed on the spot. In 2012, the reality is that the Phillies were never even in the running to bring Oswalt back.

So what do the Phillies do? In my mind, it’s pretty simple: Give up on this season, trade away any assets you have and come back with a vengeance in 2013.

Die-hard Phillies supporters are sure to cringe at that last sentence. Even the everyday fan is unlikely to be on board with what I’m saying. After all, the Phillies sit only 3.5 games out of first place in the National League East with a 28-27 record, there are still 107 games left to play, and Halladay, Howard and Utley will all return to the lineup at some point…right?

I’m not so sure. I don’t doubt that the Phillies’ three injured stars will make a return to Citizens Bank Park at some point this season, but I find it hard to convince myself that they will have the type of impact that will be necessary to vault the team back to the top echelon of the league. All three are battling tough injuries to return from, injuries that could use a lot of rest and rehab.

Rushing them back to the field just so the Phillies can maybe make a run to the playoffs this year seems foolish to me. I’d rather see the organization stockpile some minor league talent, clear some unnecessary salary off the books this off-season and jump right back into serious contention come 2013.

The Phillies’ two main trade pieces are starting pitcher Cole Hamels and center fielder Shane Victorino, both who will be unrestricted free agents after this season and both who would bring back quite a bounty in a trade. Hamels is having a stellar year (8-2, 2.81 ERA, 1.04 WHIP, 80 Ks, 77 IP), but the Phillies and his agent have been unable to work out a long-term deal and seem unlikely to do so before he hits the free agent market in October. Victorino, meanwhile, isn’t having the greatest of years so far (.251, 6 HRs, 27 RBIs, 24 runs, 13 SBs), but his combination of speed, power and defensive ability would make him quite attractive on the trade market.

The Phillies could expect at least three close-to-ready prospects in the separate trades for Hamels and Victorino. And with Hamels ($15 million), Victorino ($9.5 million), Placido Polanco ($6.4 million) and Joe Blanton ($10.5 million) all possibly off the roster next season, the Phillies could quickly turn around and make a splash in the free agent market, with one player in particular at the top of their wish list – Cole Hamels.

Remember that it wasn’t that long ago that the Phillies traded starting pitcher Cliff Lee to clear the way to bring Halladay on board, only to bring Lee back with a free-agent contract the very next off-season. So trading away Hamels now doesn’t necessarily preclude the Phillies from having him on the roster for 2013 and beyond.

What it does do, though, is allow the team to re-stock its minor leagues, get its star players completely healthy and make a serious run at another World Series trophy in 2013.

When you live in a city that’s come to idolize adult beverages like Philadelphia does, you might be used to dealing with a little bit of attitude in the morning or a sluggish afternoon, but this coming week will keep you friends and co-workers in an extra special slump as we kick off Philly Beer Week.

No, apparently, one night or day or even weekend isn’t enough time to properly celebrate the cool, refreshing, hoppy goodness of an ice cold beer. So, naturally, we dedicate an entire week and a half to the cause.

For the fifth year running, Philadelphia Beer Week has helped ring in the start of summer with a whopping 10-days of beer themed celebrations, specials and events. With hundreds of events taking place throughout the celebration, it would be impossible to pick just a few to send you to. Although, some other site have tried. UWishUNu and Visit Philly both have guides to Beer Week, for example. There’s even an app for that.

Instead, we’d rather share some advice on how to deal with hungover colleagues and how to handle your own hangover.

Let’s start with the latter because, without a cure for yourself, you’ll never be able to deal with anyone, much less your fellow fallen comrades. For your own hangover, an unofficial Facebook survey was taken to find the most common cures. They include drinking tons water (duh) instead of sports drinks like you might think. And, if you reach for a cup of Joe, be sure to balance it with plenty of water to combat further dehydration.

In terms of food remedies, docs suggest toast or crackers for the carbs and the spike in blood sugar. They also say eating a lot before a long night (or 10-day stint) can help ease the pain the next day.

Experts warn against taking pain meds to help with your hangover headache and say vitamins are a waste of time. They also say the exercise cure is a myth and sex really only helps you pass the time.

So, when it’s all said and done, grab a bottle of water and some saltene’s and hope for the best.

As for dealing with hungover people, share the hangover tips with them — i.e. force feed them water and carbs. And, if that doesn’t work, just head back to the current Beer Week event, beat the hangover with the “hair of the dog” and prolong the inevitable.

I have to admit that, between Memorial Day weekend, seeing old and new acquaintances, family parties and emotional explosions, I really have not had much thought as to what I wanted to write about this week. But thankfully, CBS 3’s Pat Ciarrocchi came to my rescue.

So when you’re hungry, what do you crave? Me? Vodka. ;P Joking (ish) Usually a  big salad, mashed potatoes, or anything of the crustacean variety. But not good ole Rudy Eugene of Miami, Florida. Big, bad and naked Rudy decided that he would like first and second helpings of Ronald Poppo’s face. One would have thought he was at an all you can eat buffet, Cannibal style.

Now, as gruesome as this story is, I feel compelled to find the humor, so bear with me. First, why were these two grown men in all their nekkid glory on the side of a busy highway…get a room already! What sort of psychedelic drugs were they on?! Turns out, it was bath salts.

I ask this because when the po-po shot at Eugene, he took the hit and growled at them! Growled! What is he reenacting a scene from American Werewolf in London? (stellar movie btw) And the victim, Poppo, doesn’t want to release a statement, he wants to put the whole situation behind him. No s**t Sherlock, of course you do, it is flipping embarrassing! But you will speak, you must because this nation, or just me, wants to know why you were in the predicament in the first place.

So where are the witnesses!? If people slow down when passing a car accident, how could no one stop to watch this freak show? Where are your priorities Miami!?!?! Sigh, well I guess I’m going to have to dig deep down and try to find some patience and wait Poppo out. This is going to real hard for me since I wasn’t born with any. But I’m sure he will surface sooner or later, probably wind up on The View, you know those lions would just love to eat him alive!  (badaamp baamp)