Who Even Knows

2024 with bangtan - thank you for not leaving us alone 💜

heres 100 to get you started

(...so you don't have to.)

So, I tried-- I really, really tried to ignore it, but after stewing on if for two whole days I don't think I'll have piece of mind until I vent.

So, as I'm sure you all are aware, Billboard featured BTS on the cover of their magazine (but not just one version— no, there’s EIGHT which they’re selling as a bundle). And, as I’m sure you’re also aware, ARMY has a few complaints.

To put it bluntly: F*ck that article.

So strap in because do I have an essay to write about this monstrosity.

I feel like this is me being nit-picky, but I think that maybe there are other ways to make celebrities seem relatable that doesn’t involve talking about them having hangovers. I find nothing wrong with them drinking— they’re grown ass men who I have enjoyed watching get buzzed on a live or Festa on more than one occasion. But to lead your professional article with that? Not to mention using language to suggest that they were dressed poorly.

This was my first clue that this article was going to be everything I hope it wouldn’t be.

Let’s get into the blatantly obvious. The thing that really set ARMY’s rage alight: the inaccurate and backless accusations against ARMY and HYBE/BTS about chart manipulation, which they wasted TEN (10) paragraphs of a so-called 'interview' piece on.

A new word to properly describe the idiocy of the allegations that Billboard proposed needs to be created for my own sanity because I’ve run out of civilized vocabulary. How Billboard could have the absolute AUDACITY to ask BTS and HYBE about the manipulation of THEIR charts using the rules that THEY put in place is beyond me— and thanks, thank you for reopening the 2014-2015 sajaegi accusation wounds that had finally begun healing. For interviewing a band that has broken so many of their records, Billboard really doesn’t seem happy about it.

In fact, they seem as bitter as the tweets they used from accounts of other artists’ fans (without permission, I might add). I really wish I had known Twitter was a citable source while I was in college because my life would have been so much easier. It’s not a secret that other fandoms accuse BTS and ARMY of all sorts of ridiculous things— they have since BTS debuted in 2013. Thankfully, Namjoon has the eloquence and patience of a saint;

“…if there is a conversation inside Billboard about what being No. 1 should represent, then it’s up to them to change the rules and make streaming weigh more on the ranking. Slamming us or our fans for getting to No. 1 with physical sales and downloads, I don’t know if that’s right ... It just feels like we’re easy targets because we’re a boy band, a K-pop act, and we have this high fan loyalty.” —KNJ

I’d like to say that that’s where the article stopped with the accusations, but my mother told me it was wrong to lie. They then flipped the question and asked HYBE if they organized the fans to mass-buy albums and singles to inflate numbers that would assist in charting better. Because for some reason it’s hard to believe that the millions of fans could have organized themselves to combat the inequality we’ve experienced in music charts, not only in the US but in BTS’ home country as well.

Even after HYBE’s refusal of orchestrating ARMY’s movements, the article moved on with a maddening sentence:

“Still, HYBE appears to be doing its best to keep the BTS fandom close.”

The insinuation that Billboard plans not to listen to what HYBE and BTS tell them on the matter is obvious, which undermines the entire point of having an interview. The then continue on to talk about Weverse and it’s possible connection to inflated album sales.

We can assume that in the near future, Billboard will be taking another look at their rule book to make the changes necessary to put a halt to BTS and ARMY’s success. After all, the biases within the western music scene are geared towards specific artists and companies who are clearly unhappy that BTS has been dominating their charts. If you find this sounds familiar to what BTS and BigHit experienced in the South Korean music scene, you get a cookie!

Beyond that obviously ridiculous attack, the entire article was riddled with underhanded aggressive language. From using "it" to describe the group of boys multiple times, to adding in unnecessary content such as this gem:

"That status pushed it (BTS) to the front of the line for C*VID-19 vaccinations — a real privilege in a country that has struggled with shortages."

This lovely little tidbit was taken out of the paragraph talking about BTS becoming Presidential Envoys and being invited back to the UNGA for a third time, which could have been a significant part of the article since it was SUPPOSED to be about the business side of BTS's career. However, instead of the multitude of questions they could have asked about this particular subject, they write about how the group will be getting vaccinations while highlighting that the country is struggling with a shortage.

More or less, this one statement is saying "Look at the plush and privileged lifestyles these people are living while the rest of their country suffers."

BTS never asked for that privilege, but of course they would have to get vaccinated since they'll be participating in international travel and will have prolonged exposure in a room full of dozens of people during a pandemic-- in the USA no less, where we are doing such a stand-up job controlling it's C-19 cases (read: sarcasm).

The article starts off with describing them to have "humble charisma" and descends into villanization of the group, the company, and their fans.

I can forgive certain things— such as discussing their military enlistments— since this was supposed to be a piece on the business side of their careers. However, prudent questions that could/should have been asked were instead replaced by speculation, rumors, and Twitter gossip. It was more an opinion piece than an interview, which is truly disappointing-- can you imagine the content that was purposefully left out to make room for baseless accusations? The whole article is littered with subtle aggressive language-- it's clear that whomever wrote the article did not want to, or had a particular vendetta against BTS/kpop. I’m about to take a red pen to that article…

I’m gonna go ahead and stop here before I have an aneurysm trying to further analyze this ridiculous nonsense.

To end on a happy note, here are the boys looking fine as hell:

….

which bts member's birthday is closest to yours?

how he’s super respectful and always wants to shake people’s hands even though they don’t always reciprocate, and how he refers to people as sir/maam

he once said ‘i like peace, my favourite bird is the pigeon’ but he’s an idiot and he meant dove

going off number 2, alternatingly, how he got pigeon and dove confused but calls fruitflies by their scientific name aka drosophila 

how he thinks about love inclusively, not just the romantic kind but the friendship and familiar kind too

how he released mono because he wanted to be a source of comfort for all his fans and give them a hug even if he cant physically do it

how he said ‘mono’ means monster no more, meaning he’s let go of all that pent up rage and anger and all the negativity he had while being a teenager and how he’s found peace within himself, and how he’s grown emotionally and mentally and no longer feels angry at the world

how to spoke openly about going to therapy and getting help when you need it

how he speaks softly a lot of the time, and when he pauses and its almost like you can see his brain working, see him thinking and he’s completely beautiful

how his voice is low, and deep, and silky smooth, and how when i hear it its that feeling of drinking hot chocolate on a chilly day, just something so comforting

how he prefers sunset to sunrise (just like me) but how he likes being out at dawn when everyone else is asleep (again like me)

how he wrote moonchild for the people who feel most happy at night, for those who felt like ‘they can’t breathe during the day’ and how he believes the night sets him free

how he enjoys just,, being, in nature - going on walks, taking bike rides with jimin down han river

how he looks when he has no make up on and his hair is falling in front of his eyes and he just looks so soft and adorable

how he likes using filters on his vlive, especially the really cute ones and how i will deadass fight that fan who told him to stop using them because on god he deserves happiness in the little things and if filters make him happy then you BET he should use them

how his entire face lights up when he’s happy, and the way it scrunches when he sees things that are cute

how he’s so big and yet so gentle with everything - the way he picks up crabs, and frogs, and any small creatures - but he handles them with utmost care because he knows his strength and he would never willingly hurt any living creature

how he likes ryan from kkt and has a bunch of merch but freely admits he prefers brown from line jfsjfjsjfjd and how he has a collection of both of those as well as K.A.W.S. like he’s really just an adorable little nerd

how sometimes when he laughs he buries his face into his hand or his shoulders, and how sometimes his eyes are wide and his mouth is open and you can see his tongue

how he dressed up like an astronaut for the 2018 MAMA performance and did his little move and then fell on the ground in the most cUTEST way possible - and then his legs were all stretched out but he stayed on the ground

how he can be hella petty - like when he admitted his sister pissed him off one day and before they were going to school, it was raining, and he took all the umbrellas in the house so she’d have to walk to school in the rain

how when he was younger his dream was to be a security guard because it shows just how sweet he is and how much he wants to protect people, and how he does it every day just by being him and encouraging people to continue on even if they’re struggling

how much he loves his mother

how he gets annoyed with rap mon for not remembering who he is even thought monie is named after him

how even though he’s not a major vocalist, his husky, low-toned voice sounds so beautiful and calming

how he sings in the shower but gets clowned for it

how when he gets excited he physically can’t contain himself and runs around with a little bounce and the happiest expression

alternatively, how sometimes he just bounces in place instead of running around

how frustrated he gets when people aren’t listening to him and he throws a soft tantrum

how quick his mind works and how unbelievably intelligent he is

how he’s big but his sneezes are soft and quiet, and his face scrunches up and then his entire head shakes

how sweet he looks when he’s sleeping, all nestled in the covers and his cheeks full

how he has a mole on his neck just below his jaw

how clumsy he is and how easily he breaks things as if he doesn’t know his own strength

how he takes care of the members as much as he can, but how he equally needs to be taken care of

how he is a hazard to himself and is so smart yet doesn’t know basic things like how to use a knife or to NOT touch boiling pasta

how he’s so big but if he curls up into himself he looks so small

the way his nose wrinkles when he’s confused

that stupid ahahAHAHAHA laugh he does

the fact that he grows bonsai and has named them - ‘cherry blossom baby’ ‘jjin jjin’ ‘cherry’ and ‘orihime’ who he calls ori as a nickname and that he also talks to them

how he said he will wear whatever - regardless of ‘gender’ stereotypes

how he’ll sit on the side and simply watch the rest of bangtan with the proudest, sappiest smile because he knows they’re happy and because they’re his entire happiness

how he does aegyo and then immediately gets shy afterwards

how gentle and delicate his features are, and yet so unbelievably handsome and sexy he is at the same time

how he’s the gentlest giant to ever exist

how he lets bangtan do whatever they want to him - like wipe cake onto his face, or squish his cheeks, and he accepts it all with the patience of a saint

how he gives love freely and loves freely but never asks for anything in return even though he deserves it and everything

how he has a sweet tooth, and eats spoonfuls of sugar, and how he believes that even when the world ends people who make cotton candy should continue existing

how humble he is, despite being in the biggest boy group in the world, but how he never fails to thank the staff, the people who work with them, their dancers, the stage crew, the directing crew or whatever

how he can’t take a compliment without getting incredibly shy

how he learned to love himself over the years

how he’s so willing to let people use him for them to learn to love themselves

how he made me fall in love with the world again, and it’s beauty, and reminded me that there is good in the world

how he is my source of strength and happiness

how his words and existence bring me comfort

how he saved my life