yearner

Gay culture needs to get genuinely freakish and weird again. There’s tremendous liberation to be had in that spirit. Fuck up gender binaries! Write weird erudite dramas and stage them in strange nightclubs and have drag queens star in them! Embrace both beauty and grotesquerie—in fact crush them together! See what happens! Experiment! Love the ugly, the unpolished, the imperfect, the clownish! Mock at the heterosexuals! Imagine new worlds and new ways of being! Imagine old worlds in new ways! Transmute yourself! Ridicule yourself! Everything’s wrecked, so take the pieces and build yourself a house or an erotic monument or a library or a garden or a bordello! More life! More life!

they injected me with mental illness when i was a baby because they didn't like that i radiated moonlight and had stars inside my eyes. they were jealous of me.

so haunted by eduardo’s relationship with his father and the way it’s presented in the film. like he’s literally only mentioned three times across all 164 pages of the script but what we see of the achievement-oriented nature of their dynamic sets up and narratively justifies the pattern of people-pleasing behaviour that eduardo spends the entire duration of the film attempting to break out of. and when eduardo does manage to finally break that pattern by freezing the account, by asserting a boundary to stop mark from continuing to financially take advantage of him, he’s punished for this perceived transgression so harshly that it destroys not only his relationship with mark but also his relationship with his father, cementing that the behaviours he exhibits in his relationship with Mark in regards to acts of service are founded in and perpetuated by the way that his father treats him. if you’re raised with an angry man in your house there will always be an angry man in your house

thinking about this again i feel so crazy

“Do it scared” “do it badly” it’s time to drop the guide for do it alone

Doing it scared and doing it badly is one thing, but no one seems to talk about doing it alone. When you feel so isolated from your friends and your family but you have shit to do and you have to get it done no matter what. When your support system really is only you. For any myriad of reasons. We do not talk enough about doing it alone.

I lowkey hate how people misunderstood this post because it’s not about “go to a movie by yourself every now and then uwu” “be your own dinner date!!” it’s literally being at a stage in your life where the only person who’s gonna consistently be there for you, for whatever circumstances, is you. And it’s about the loneliness that comes w reminding yourself that that has to be fulfilling enough bc the only person who’s guaranteed to stay w us through anything is us. Thats what I mean by doing it alone.

Guys I literally hate to admit this but being obsessed w yourself and your life no matter how small it may seem litetalky works like effusing that energy ATTRACTS people but what’s even nicer is you dgaf if it does because you’re having so much fun all on ur own

You are DEAD longer than you are ALIVE And you aree WASTING IT by GIVING IN TO FEAR FEAR FEAR IS THE ENEMY

it's encouraging to be around people who imagine a bigger life for themselves, whose only desire is to collaborate harmoniously with others, see opportunity instead of obstacle, people who remind you that life is about seeing how far you can go and how much fun you can have...real life enjoyers

bell hooks mentioned going through a time in her life where she was severely depressed and suicidal and how the only way she got through it was through changing her environment: She surrounded her home with buddhas of all colors, Audre Lorde’s A Litany for Survival facing her as she wakes up, and filling the space she saw everyday with reinforcing objects and meaningful books. She asks herself each day, “What are you going to do today to resist domination?” I also really liked it when she said that in order to move from pain to power, it is crucial to engage in “an active rewriting of our lives.”

i hate driving. here are the laws! if you break them there will be consequences! except youre also expected to break the law just a little bit. people will get mad at you if you dont. you dont have right of way but the person who does is waving you forward for some reason. here's the speed limit! it's not the speed limit, the actual speed limit is that plus ~5-10. the light is green but you're in the turning lane. can you go? should you have gone just then? the person behind you is honking at you. there's a weird noise coming from your engine; if you try to do the right thing and get it checked out, will you get scammed? you are driving a 1-2 ton metal machine rocketing at speeds unknown to humankind for most of history. around a million people die in car accidents every year; that's about one person every thirty seconds. if you take that seriously and try to drive safely then people get mad at you.