show 'em what you're made of

Vik adjusted a little to lean in for a gentle kiss to Kerry's cheek. "Wish I could too. Just wanna get lost in you for a while." Drown out that sound haunting his mind with far prettier noises. Remind himself he wasn't as useless or helpless as he'd felt the past day or so. "If I hadn't come here in an AV, I'd sweep you off as soon as you're cleared 'n have us a little home vacation," Vik added with a light, warm laugh.

One that could come true if his producers decided his health was more important than the tour. All at once, Kerry wanted the best of both worlds. When wasn't he as greedy as could be, really? To tour, to have Vik at the end of the night... Still, somehow he doubted he'd be allowed that luxury. Or maybe Vik would insist he stay if he was "forced" to keep touring.

Nevertheless, a little "home vacation" didn't sound so bad either. Exactly the opposite, really. At that point all he did wanna do was rest. Having Vik home for a whole week, at that? Man. That sounded like a privilege he couldn't possibly pass up if he were presented with it.

But, that would be a decision that would come later. He'd figure it, he guessed.

"Would be nice... been missin' my own bed, big time. My nice warm body pillow, too," Kerry remarked, allowing his head to rest back against the bed and lull to the side so he could look at Vik. He'd offer him a tired smile.

"...Guess we'll cross that bridge once we get to it, though. Same with tellin' everyone 'm back to bein' on this side'a sane. Really don't need anyone bitchin' at me, whether they're the tour manager or my adult kid," he heaved out a heavy sigh, then brought his hand up to rub his eyes briefly.

So Vik let slip a quieter chuckle this time. "Yeah, your nice warm body pillow's been missin' you too." His tone was humored but his expression sincere as he brushed curled fingers over Kerry's cheek, thumb lingering a moment at the decorative chrome under one eye.

He didn't blame his partner for wanting to hold off on the news of improvement, either. It was a bit thorny, since it seemed kind of unfair to Désirée and Kearney in particular when they were so concerned - but to be honest, there were plenty of other doctors and nurses around to tell them. He knew from experience that though the hospital staff would advise going easy on Kerry, the tour staff would likely push right past.

A bit more lingering tension unwound from his back and shoulders when Kerry's hand rested over his. Man, as soon as it'd be safe to do so, Vik would wrap his partner up in the biggest, tightest hug. He probably wouldn't let go for a good while, either, not until or unless Kerry complained.

"Yer so cute when y'get all guard dog," Kerry jested, another short giggle tumbled out. Reminded him of-- okay, that needed to stop immediately. Comparing almost never went well, even when harmless. It was just nice, really having someone on his side again. Vik had basically always been like that, ever since he met him, but it never stopped the warmth from spreading in his chest.

The fact that Vik was there, and had no plans to go anywhere was such a damn relief. He knew how him being away from the clinic had gotten better with time, but he also knew still how he clung to his work. Kerry never doubted that Vik would be there in situations like these, when he really needed him, but it still felt like such a relief. Being along in that room would've been hell, even if they'd still have been able to have their calls.

"Good... wouldn't be able t'do it without ya." That shit would come with time, but he did hope they could just be left alone for a while. He was still so damn tired, his head still pretty foggy. Rest, contacting Louise, the kids, V, 'n' Johnny... then maybe he could start entertaining the idea of whether he wanted to keep going on with the tour or not.

As much as he knew he needed to just let it be for the time being, Kerry couldn't push the thought of what was gonna happen too far from his mind. The fate of tour, what he wanted to do... but also, what about everything else?

God, he really just needed to relax.

Vik adjusted a little to lean in for a gentle kiss to Kerry's cheek. "Wish I could too. Just wanna get lost in you for a while." Drown out that sound haunting his mind with far prettier noises. Remind himself he wasn't as useless or helpless as he'd felt the past day or so. "If I hadn't come here in an AV, I'd sweep you off as soon as you're cleared 'n have us a little home vacation," Vik added with a light, warm laugh.

But right now, that damn sound just wouldn't stop haunting him. A part of Vik wished he'd stepped away into another room, or had the TV muted, or the mics had cut out, something, anything so he wouldn't have to struggle to forget how sudden and chilling helplessness hollowed out his stomach.

Vik's eyes shut a bit tighter for a moment or two, while he pressed into that gentle touch and its familiar calluses. They only opened when Kerry's hand retreated. Any thought of apologizing for clinging too hard vanished at the sight of his partner scooting to one side of the bed. Making room. Didn't have to tell him twice.

Though there weren't too many wires, Vik was still careful just in case. He settled next to Kerry, turned on his side to face the other man with one arm cushioning his own head. His opposite hand cradled Kerry's cheek, and a soft sigh escaped as Vik's hint of embarrassment was drowned out by relief and loving concern.

Sometimes you just needed to feel it for a while. Let it exist. Let it pass, but likely never feel it truly fade.

Kerry brought his uninjured hand up to stroke the back of Vik's hand with his thumb again. It was about as much physical affection as he could personally manage without straight up leaning against him and potentially hurting his arm further. He just needed to reciprocate that touch.

A bit more lingering tension unwound from his back and shoulders when Kerry's hand rested over his. Man, as soon as it'd be safe to do so, Vik would wrap his partner up in the biggest, tightest hug. He probably wouldn't let go for a good while, either, not until or unless Kerry complained.

So without much or any ability to really change that outcome, for now Vik would rather focus on helping Kerry get better.

He leaned a bit more into the hand on his cheek, eyes closing for an indulgent moment. Even just hearing those three simple words was a balm, after too many fraught hours. It helped his laugh emerge as a clearer chuckle this time, and their eyes met once again. "That's damn tempting."

Vik's expression gentled while his touch skimmed down just a little to Kerry's wrist, finding comfort in that steady pulse beneath his fingers. "Love you too, Ker. And I've missed you just as bad. House feels bigger, when you're away." Emptier.

At least they'd had their daily calls, texts. Kerry had hoped that made the silence a little less suffocating.

Whatever teasing and humor he'd attempted to keep the air light went up in smoke, though, as he listened to Vik. His heart ached for him. He rarely saw Vik getting like this, so upset. There'd probably on been a small handful of times since they'd gotten together that he'd seen it. Seeing it applied to him now... He felt a little guilty. Not like he could've done much when he hadn't known what was going on in the first place, but still.

He could imagine how he felt, unfortunately. Kerry had at least felt something similar before, probably. A few incidents with Johnny 'n' the terror that came with instances of almost losing him in front of his own eyes.

But right now, that damn sound just wouldn't stop haunting him. A part of Vik wished he'd stepped away into another room, or had the TV muted, or the mics had cut out, something, anything so he wouldn't have to struggle to forget how sudden and chilling helplessness hollowed out his stomach.

Vik's eyes shut a bit tighter for a moment or two, while he pressed into that gentle touch and its familiar calluses. They only opened when Kerry's hand retreated. Any thought of apologizing for clinging too hard vanished at the sight of his partner scooting to one side of the bed. Making room. Didn't have to tell him twice.

Though there weren't too many wires, Vik was still careful just in case. He settled next to Kerry, turned on his side to face the other man with one arm cushioning his own head. His opposite hand cradled Kerry's cheek, and a soft sigh escaped as Vik's hint of embarrassment was drowned out by relief and loving concern.

"That's pretty normal, for where you are in your recovery," he assured, smoothing his thumb over Kerry's knuckles. "Don't strain yourself over it." Something else he wasn't keen to elaborate on, all the stress and fear and worry only to come in and endure hours of being treated like a stranger. It wasn't anyone's fault. Vik just needed to soothe his frayed nerves for a little while, preferably like this.

Buuuut somehow he doubted Vik wanted to talk about that either. Leave all'a that shit for when he was actually better, rather than just starting to get better.

Kerry couldn't help the smile peeking from the corners of his lips when Vik kissed the heel of his palm. Man, that affectionate man of his. Always knew how to send his heart and his head crazy.

He gently stroked his thumb over Viktor's cheek, reciprocating that small, fond smile. Poor guy looked as tired as he felt.

"I'll take what I can get," Kerry remarked fondly, cradling Vik's cheek gently. "I love you... 'm almost tempted t'just go home with you after all of this. Been missin' you like crazy." The roar of crowds kept those thoughts at bay most often, but now with Vik right in front of him... the pull of home was definitely on his mind. Ooo, his manager would be pissed if they heard that.

So without much or any ability to really change that outcome, for now Vik would rather focus on helping Kerry get better.

He leaned a bit more into the hand on his cheek, eyes closing for an indulgent moment. Even just hearing those three simple words was a balm, after too many fraught hours. It helped his laugh emerge as a clearer chuckle this time, and their eyes met once again. "That's damn tempting."

Vik's expression gentled while his touch skimmed down just a little to Kerry's wrist, finding comfort in that steady pulse beneath his fingers. "Love you too, Ker. And I've missed you just as bad. House feels bigger, when you're away." Emptier.

While Vik didn't join in on that attempt at a joke, he also decided against chiding Kerry for it. The atmosphere had been pretty heavy for a while now, weighing in Vik's expression as much as the air around them; understandable that his partner would want to clear it.

"Yeah, I don't... remember any of that. I remember singin' and then... that's it. Don't remember fallin', or gettin' here, or you comin' in here." But then again, Vik must've been someone he'd seen over the few periods of time he did remember. Kerry hated the thought of it all, entertaining any idea that he might've been sick, or hurt. Faux blue eyes glanced down toward his arm, knowing well how that'd likely end up fucking up his playing.

"Good t'hear things are calmin' down. I can already hear Kelvy givin' me an earful." Louise, too, probably. "...And hopefully you feel too sorry for me to give me one, too." Another small jest, a small smile gracing his weary expression before letting it fall.

"That's pretty normal, for where you are in your recovery," he assured, smoothing his thumb over Kerry's knuckles. "Don't strain yourself over it." Something else he wasn't keen to elaborate on, all the stress and fear and worry only to come in and endure hours of being treated like a stranger. It wasn't anyone's fault. Vik just needed to soothe his frayed nerves for a little while, preferably like this.

'Eventually' was pretty cold comfort when he had to watch his partner miss his presence from only a few feet away.

And when the hours that followed were no less of a fraught roller-coaster, fraying Vik's nerves even more.

He'd had a fitful sleep in the bedside chair, little more than sporadic naps that left him tense and aching every time he woke. But still, he refused to leave. Even if Kerry didn't recognize him yet, the thought of leaving his partner all alone in this hospital room chafed too sharply.

Vik had just come out of another such doze, settling back into the chair with another water from Désirée. She'd updated him on the fuss over the tour schedule Kearney was still keeping at bay; he should get the doc lunch or something as thanks. He cracked open the bottle's cap - and paused. Finally, finally, there was his name in a tone that knew he was here. Vik met Kerry's eyes, and had the faint fleeting urge to cry at the other's recognition and relief.

"Really?" There was no reason for Vik to lie. Vik didn't lie to him, that much Kerry was sure of. But that just confused him even more. Well... the solution was obvious. His brain had been a little fucked up. He'd hallucinated from trips before, so it made sense if some of the meds they were giving him were making a little fucked up.

"Man..." Kerry sighed, stroking over the back of Vik's hand with his thumb. "How fucked up was I? Seriously, what the hell happened?" That was what he was definitely still fuzzy about. There were bits and pieces, but none of it was really all that clear, in actuality.

While Vik didn't join in on that attempt at a joke, he also decided against chiding Kerry for it. The atmosphere had been pretty heavy for a while now, weighing in Vik's expression as much as the air around them; understandable that his partner would want to clear it.

He shouldn't. Even when holding back let the other man's words dig sharp into his chest. Kerry wouldn't be saying any of it if not for the thyroid storm's aftereffects. Vik held onto that like a lifeline, letting it repeat in his mind between each sentence from his partner.

Then his name, and that tinge of disappointment, and then another insult - and god-fucking-dammit could he really endure this?

Jaw set, Vik swallowed hard and stood from the bedside chair, turning to fix his gaze on the various monitors around Kerry with his arms crossed. "Sure, that's what I am," he muttered bitterly.

A measured, silent breath in through his nose. "...You experienced a thyroid storm," Vik explained, settling into his more professional cadence in the thin hope it'd pull his heart off his sleeve for a bit. "First symptom showed 'round the sixth song, increased perspiration. Then delirium partway into your seventh, then fainting." Once again, that sound haunted his ears. The line of his shoulders stiffened subtly. "Most likely culprit is goiter caused by an infection. Not sure why it wasn't detected, but... poor Kearney's been beatin' himself up over it."

A slip, a crack. Seemed his heart didn't want to be far from Kerry for long.

Instead of getting irritated this time, however, he began to sink in a bit to his bed. A more somber expression replaced the last. He wished he wasn't alone with someone he didn't know. He wished he knew what was going on. He wished he had Vik.

The next several hours would be a lot of that. A lot of confusion, mood swings, and forgetting what had even happened. There was already being pressure to talk about the state of the rest of the tour, though that had been pushed back against by Kearney when it'd been brought up to them. Kerry would be in his right mind soon enough, they just had to wait.

It just wouldn't be until early evening the following day when it finally appeared to be clear to Kerry.

Blue optics blinked at Vik, recognition finally setting in for the first time since he'd been allowed to be with him.

'Eventually' was pretty cold comfort when he had to watch his partner miss his presence from only a few feet away.

And when the hours that followed were no less of a fraught roller-coaster, fraying Vik's nerves even more.

He'd had a fitful sleep in the bedside chair, little more than sporadic naps that left him tense and aching every time he woke. But still, he refused to leave. Even if Kerry didn't recognize him yet, the thought of leaving his partner all alone in this hospital room chafed too sharply.

Vik had just come out of another such doze, settling back into the chair with another water from Désirée. She'd updated him on the fuss over the tour schedule Kearney was still keeping at bay; he should get the doc lunch or something as thanks. He cracked open the bottle's cap - and paused. Finally, finally, there was his name in a tone that knew he was here. Vik met Kerry's eyes, and had the faint fleeting urge to cry at the other's recognition and relief.

He didn't try to reach for Kerry again, much as his palm itched for it. Instead, mustering his patience, Vik calmly met that petulant look while he sat in a nearby chair. "And that's still true." A light snort. "If I ever do the bidding of a corpo, there'd have to be a gun to your head, to Misty's, V's, or mine."

This was the best approach he could think of, to remain confident in their connection until Kerry remembered. Insisting too strongly seemed more likely to sound unconvincing.

"Yeah, yeah--" Kerry attempted to move his arm, but would wince with the sharp pain he received in turn. "Fuck, that smarts. ...Y'said you saw? Watched? Whatever? I fell? Know you psycho fans love t'get every fuckin' detail, so tell me whatcha know... These freaks 'round here... Dunno what they've been smokin', but they're talkin' shit. Don't know a damn thing." Before Vik could get a word in, though, Kerry was going off again.

He shouldn't. Even when holding back let the other man's words dig sharp into his chest. Kerry wouldn't be saying any of it if not for the thyroid storm's aftereffects. Vik held onto that like a lifeline, letting it repeat in his mind between each sentence from his partner.

Then his name, and that tinge of disappointment, and then another insult - and god-fucking-dammit could he really endure this?

Jaw set, Vik swallowed hard and stood from the bedside chair, turning to fix his gaze on the various monitors around Kerry with his arms crossed. "Sure, that's what I am," he muttered bitterly.

A measured, silent breath in through his nose. "...You experienced a thyroid storm," Vik explained, settling into his more professional cadence in the thin hope it'd pull his heart off his sleeve for a bit. "First symptom showed 'round the sixth song, increased perspiration. Then delirium partway into your seventh, then fainting." Once again, that sound haunted his ears. The line of his shoulders stiffened subtly. "Most likely culprit is goiter caused by an infection. Not sure why it wasn't detected, but... poor Kearney's been beatin' himself up over it."

A slip, a crack. Seemed his heart didn't want to be far from Kerry for long.

The privacy of the rooms down this last hallway wasn't a surprise; if anything, at the moment it was appreciated. Neither Kerry nor Vik needed the mess of dealing with any more gossip or intrusions than they'd likely already face before long.

He recognized each machine flanking Kerry's bed, and glimpses of their displays told Vik his partner was doing as well as could be expected. The cast, the IVs, the bed's incline, all were their own manner of welcome sight. Even moreso was Kerry's glance toward them, despite the lack of immediate recognition.

"Fuck off. Corpo... send ya t'butter me up? Only managed t'piss me off." As irritated as Kerry sounded there wasn't much energy behind it, no matter the fire lit within him despite everything that'd happened that day. "'Cause I don't give a damn what weird "southern hospitality" or whatever y'got t'use as an excuse. Only my fuckin' mainline calls me "sweetheart."" And that was that, apparently. With that message gotten across, he appeared to settle into his spot on the bed again to relax once again.

He didn't try to reach for Kerry again, much as his palm itched for it. Instead, mustering his patience, Vik calmly met that petulant look while he sat in a nearby chair. "And that's still true." A light snort. "If I ever do the bidding of a corpo, there'd have to be a gun to your head, to Misty's, V's, or mine."

This was the best approach he could think of, to remain confident in their connection until Kerry remembered. Insisting too strongly seemed more likely to sound unconvincing.

Vik also knew enough about Kerry to feel certain the latter would back her up - and if the man wasn't in a condition to do so himself, Vik would readily be a messenger.

For now, he let the quiet stretch between them, occasionally taking more swigs of water. His wandering mind sometimes honed in on quiet conversations between some of the other waiting room occupants, but he let them pass through his ears without much concrete thought. Mulling over Kerry took up most of his mind; his own self-comfort was still reminding himself of the facts, to drown out the memory of his partner's collapse.

Vik greeted Kearney when the other doctor joined them, offering a bit more reassurance while knowing it could only go so far. He decided to take no news as good news, for his own sake.

It was only when a nurse who arrived focused on Vik that he stood straighter and set aside his mostly-empty water bottle. Her obviously-practiced benign smile itched at him - a reminder of what he'd escaped in becoming a ripperdoc instead - but Vik kept his own expression neutral. What mattered more was what the nurse said. Lingering renewed tension drained from his shoulders, and he spared a subtly gentler glance to Désirée and Kearney, before looking to the nurse again.

The walk to Kerry's room was a quiet one. The nurse didn't have much to offer past what she'd already warned Vik about.

They would end up in a slightly more out of the way hallway, one with the doors a bit more further apart. Private rooms for their far more high profile patients, bound to have large enough rooms to keep even the most vain celebrities comfortable, while also keeping much of their business private by keeping them far apart from one another.

Kerry had been half-aware when they finally made it to his room. Eyes half-lidded, hooked up to a number of machines and IVs that were giving him the medicines he needed to fight what was going on with his body. His bed was at an incline, where he was half-lying against the upper half so he wasn't too bothered by his arm cast that was held in place by a sling.

Blue Kiroshis would raise only slightly to give the intruders his attention, though he, for now, didn't appear to recognize either of them.

The privacy of the rooms down this last hallway wasn't a surprise; if anything, at the moment it was appreciated. Neither Kerry nor Vik needed the mess of dealing with any more gossip or intrusions than they'd likely already face before long.

He recognized each machine flanking Kerry's bed, and glimpses of their displays told Vik his partner was doing as well as could be expected. The cast, the IVs, the bed's incline, all were their own manner of welcome sight. Even moreso was Kerry's glance toward them, despite the lack of immediate recognition.

Regardless, whether it was all or a few, Kerry would have —

Yeah, the joking label of a 'tantrum' was one way of putting it, though Vik wasn't as likely to call it such himself.

Leaning back in her seat and sinking down slightly, she'd hold her own water bottle against her chest as a means of self-comfort. So long as Kerry was okay, that was all that mattered. She had to keep assuring herself of that, though the thought of the producers alone had her anxious.

There would be some time before they'd finally be joined by Kearney, with no new news about about what was going on. He seemed a bit better, but not by too much. He was just as anxious as they were, eager to hear anything about how things were going. He kept having to pull his mind from festering in those self-doubtful thoughts. Wondering why his equipment would've read as normal. But, it wasn't helpful. Like Vik had said, he was just gonna drive himself crazy.

It would be another couple of hours before a nurse finally appeared from that long hallways of rooms, tablet in hand. With a brief scan of the room, she would approach Viktor once she would briefly internally confirm his status as Kerry Eurodyne's emergency contact. She offered Vik a small, painted on smile before she spoke.

Vik also knew enough about Kerry to feel certain the latter would back her up - and if the man wasn't in a condition to do so himself, Vik would readily be a messenger.

For now, he let the quiet stretch between them, occasionally taking more swigs of water. His wandering mind sometimes honed in on quiet conversations between some of the other waiting room occupants, but he let them pass through his ears without much concrete thought. Mulling over Kerry took up most of his mind; his own self-comfort was still reminding himself of the facts, to drown out the memory of his partner's collapse.

Vik greeted Kearney when the other doctor joined them, offering a bit more reassurance while knowing it could only go so far. He decided to take no news as good news, for his own sake.

It was only when a nurse who arrived focused on Vik that he stood straighter and set aside his mostly-empty water bottle. Her obviously-practiced benign smile itched at him - a reminder of what he'd escaped in becoming a ripperdoc instead - but Vik kept his own expression neutral. What mattered more was what the nurse said. Lingering renewed tension drained from his shoulders, and he spared a subtly gentler glance to Désirée and Kearney, before looking to the nurse again.

Cracking open the bottle for a sip, he glanced to Désirée again when she asked after Kerry, and his smile gently broadened in reassurance.

"He will, yeah. They're treating him right now." Vik's expression sobered somewhat, meeting her gaze directly. "He had what's called a thyroid storm; best guess for the cause was an infection. Just needs some meds to even his levels out and break his fever." Another brief swig of water. "He did fracture somethin' when he fell, but I haven't seen the scans yet. They only mentioned pain relievers for it, though, so at most that'll need a cast and plenty of rest."

He was going to be super mad because of what happened. His health was what was most important, but she'd seen how Kerry was over the last several weeks. That drive and passion would be the end of him if he wasn't careful. She wondered if Kearney or Vik would even just want to cancel the rest of the tour as it was.

That would really piss him off, if they did.

Regardless, whether it was all or a few, Kerry would have —

Yeah, the joking label of a 'tantrum' was one way of putting it, though Vik wasn't as likely to call it such himself.