Leggo my Eggo

This year was the 10 year anniversary of my abortion.

It was a shitty day this year and I was incredibly emotional and didn’t know why. I attributed it to being exhausted and stressed from the show I was rehearsing, and still grieving a recent breakup. I realized when I was going to bed, what day it was.

When I realized it was a huge weight off my shoulders. I can’t explain why. But it’s very interesting to me that the body still knows, after all these years.

But it’s interesting to note as well, that this is the first year in MANY that I haven’t suffered all month like I usually do, and my seasonal effective disorder is minimal. I would like to think of it in part as being the body and mind and life moving on, moving forward.

<3 <3 <3

Hmmm, interesting name for your blog. Does that include a father's right to choose to keep and raise a baby for himself even though the mother doesn't? Or do fathers rights mean absolute shit to you? And I know what you're gonna say, I've heard it all before. Firstly, Im not anti-abortion. In the cases of rape and incest, if the father agrees to abort or if he doesn't care or is nowhere to be found, then by all means, abort away if that's what you choose. And as for the "it's her body" argument, I'm sorry men weren't created or have evolved to gestate. If it were me in this situation, I would gladly carry and give birth to the child myself if I could, but it's biologically impossible. And yes, pregnancy does have its risks as do most things. Fortunately, medical technology has advanced so that an expectant mother can receive all the care and treatment she needs. You might think I'm for using women as my own personal incubator, but on the flip side of that, if a father's right to choose is taken away, isn't he being treated as her own personal sperm dispenser, thereby objectifying him? All I'm saying is that a father should have the same choice as a mother when it comes to a child's fate.

Hi There,

Thank you for taking the time to write to me and patiently awaiting my response. I do not have a lot of time to be on Tumblr these days.

I need to primarily address your concerns about the my-body-my-choice consideration, because that is ultimately the most important thing this boils down to. Or, in essence, consent. If there is any instance where you think consent can ever be overridden, you need to seriously examine your beliefs.

No person in any other circumstance is ever forced into giving any part of their body without freely given and ongoing consent – Even in matters of life or death. If blood or bone marrow or organs are needed to save a life, that person still must wait for donated, legally obtained donations. Even the bodies of the dead are respected in this way – if they aren’t an organ donor, then you can’t take their body parts, even to save a life.

So why is a pregnancy treated differently?

I need to interject that there are many reasons one may not wish to remain pregnant, and physical danger is just the tip of the iceberg.

To name a very few:

- Financial instability

- Body Dysmorphia

- Tokophobia

- Mental health

- Future planning/career/school

- Just not wanting to be pregnant

If, as you say, you’re ok with abortion in cases of rape, incest, and if the other parent also consents, then clearly your objection is not of the “human life must be preserved/abortion is murder” kind.

Instead, it sounds like it is ownership and preservation of “property” that you are concerned with.  

So, why is this property of yours so important all of a sudden?

Have you ever masturbated? Have you ever had sex while using birth control? Ever had a wet dream? That’s a heck of a lot of sperm being thrown away you didn’t seem to care about before. So why suddenly just because a stray piece of shrapnel hit a target, is that one spermatozoa suddenly of value?

It is here where we begin to feel your need to preserve that which “belongs to you” is superseding our bodily autonomy and consent. If I stole your ipod and put it in my pocket, would you have the right to stab my leg to rip open my jeans to get it back? (And I’ll note that you probably care a lot more about your ipod than you ever did about the sperm that you’ve ever tossed away before). No, no matter what that would not be ok, to physically assault and potentially harm someone, even to get back YOUR PROPERTY. That is how this ridiculous this argument feels to us.

What are the “rights of the father” you are referring to? The right to use their partner’s body to create a child without their partner’s consent? If your big concern is that you can’t gestate a child yourself, and that is your biggest concern in choosing your partner, maybe it’s time to go find someone else who IS willing to have children with you, rather than forcing it on someone who does not consent to it. I get it, you want to be a parent. That’s fine. But this is not your opportunity.

I’m confused by your last comment about using someone as a “personal sperm dispenser” - This case is in fact the opposite case? I would say the pregnant party is more likely to be accused of not valuing sperm, because they’d rather it not be there in the first place… In which case, their interest in their sexual partner was in THEM, as a person and sexual partner, not in their sperm…

By all means, go on sperm controlling birth control and shoot blanks, many of us would be VERY grateful if more people chose that option.

I’m very sorry you can’t see our point about consent and bodily autonomy, because that’s all this comes down to. The pregnant person is the only one who HAS rights over what happens to their body. Period.

No matter what that effects. No matter whom that effects.

As soon as you make an argument towards shared rights from other parents, you are supposing that there is anything in the world that can invalidate consent. NO. Consent cannot be given or removed at the will of any other person.