my cosmic love, my rarest air

a little excerpt from my sunrise on the reaping wolfstar au <3

read When Again Your Eyes Open, the Sun Will Rise on ao3.

sureeee

everything stays consensual, communicative, and wrapped in that bone-deep trust they have. sirius is a quick learner and absolutely obsessed with pushing remus apart

remus has always been the steady one, the one in control, but in bed he secretly craves the moments where he loses it completely

overstimulation hits that spot for him, because it brings the overwhelming pleasure that tips into too much, too good, until he’s shaking and babbling

he doesn’t ask for it right away. it takes months of sirius coaxing it out of him with patient teasing and careful observation. sirius notices how remus’ hips jerk and his breath hitches when touches linger just past the peak, how his voice goes wrecked and small

sirius starts experimenting gently. after remus comes the first time (from sirius’ mouth working him slow and thorough), sirius doesn’t pull off. he keeps sucking lightly, tongue swirling, hand stroking the oversensitive skin until remus’ thighs tremble and he’s gasping “baby—fuck—too much—” but his fingers are threaded tight in sirius’ hair, not pulling away

sirius looks up with those storm-grey eyes, checking in softly “okay, moony?” and when remus chokes out “yes—don’t stop”, sirius hums happily and doubles down

remus gets beautifully overwhelmed. his usual calm voice fractures into broken moans and whimpers, scars flushing pink across his chest and shoulders. sirius loves the contrast of this man who carries the world suddenly reduced to trembling, oversensitive nerves and desperate little sounds

he’ll edge remus close again with fingers and tongue, then keep going right through the second orgasm, pressing a hand down on his lower belly to feel the way his muscles spasm. remus’ legs kick weakly, heels digging into the mattress, but he always leans into it, trusting sirius to catch him

they develop rituals around it. sirius learns exactly how remus likes the intensity: firm pressure at first, then feather-light touches that make him sob with overstimulation

sometimes sirius rides him slow and deep, grinding down even after remus has come, clenching around him until remus is arching off the bed, tears slipping from the corners of his eyes from how good it hurts. sirius kisses them away, murmuring “you’re so fucking perfect like this, taking everything i give you. let me hear you, baby”.

remus gets shy about admitting how much he needs it, but sirius makes it safe. he spends hours working him over (multiple rounds with toys, his mouth, his hands), until remus is a sweaty, boneless mess

after everything sirius wraps him up in soft blankets, feeds him water and chocolate, strokes his hair and praises him endlessly

hiiiii cutie!! no, i don’t have one specific playlist with fixed songs i loop for wolfstar, my music taste changes a lot depending on what i’m writing and the exact mood of the scene/fic. it’s very scene-dependent for me

for example when i’m working on “in the blind spots” i lean super heavily on the cure, the magnetic fields, the smiths, the human league, the killers, and indie-rock in general. also a bunch of pop/indie-pop like gracie abrams and conan gray

when i’m writing “when again your eyes open, the sun will rise” i go for a softer, dreamier vibe, like cigarettes after sex, bleachers, chris isaak, hozier, sufjan stevens (SO much sufjan), the 1975… and then suddenly i’ll go BAM and throw in “labour” by paris paloma for some intensity lol

i also really love instrumental stuff, especially “vitamin string quartet” and the soundtracks from “the ballad of songbirds and snakes” when i need to visualize sirius’ covey performances, dancing, and singing scenes

so yeah that’s pretty much my “playlist” rn. i feel like it’s quite a rotating mix depending on the story and mood

what do you think wolfstar’s biggest miscommunication fight was about?? and what did they do to fix all this mess that just stems from all their love and fear for something so big and new???

hi my lovely ronnie hi my sweetheart!! never annoying, i missed you too 😁 come back anytime

sooo their biggest fight (early relationship, maybe 2-3 months in) was about remus pulling away because he was terrified of hurting sirius. he started getting distant, making excuses not to stay the night/sleep in the same bed, avoiding sirius when the full moon is close, etc. all that because he was convinced that eventually the wolf would slip and he’d kill the person he loved most. sirius, of course, read it as remus getting tired of him / realizing he was too much / starting to leave for good

obviously sirius blew up first. he started yelling, accusing remus of treating him like glass, of already planning his exit. “just say it if you don’t want this anymore” was his go-to phrase genuinely

i feel like remus would shut down hard in response. like jaw clenched, fists tight, barely speaking except for quiet “that’s not it” while trying not to cry or snap. he tried to leave the room twice and sirius followed both times, because that’s sirius for you

the fight lasted for hours. sirius spiraled into abandonment fears (“everyone leaves, why would you be different?”) and remus’ guilt + self-loathing made him think he was proving sirius right by being dangerous

they said stupid and mean shit to each other, like sirius snapping “you’re always expecting me to fuck up anyway” and remus replying with “maybe i am, because you act like this when i’m trying not to argue”. obviously they said all those out of pure fear

it’s the first time they went days barely speaking. sirius yelled and stormed off, remus shut down completely and holed up in the library or their bedroom

it ended with sirius showing up with a huge messy bouquet of flowers he picked himself and a shaky voice, admitting that he was fucking terrified remus would wake up one day and not want this anymore

eventually it turned to sirius crying (the ugly kind) and remus finally breaking, pulling him into his arms and kissing his wet face while sobbing his own apologies

remus finally cracked and told sirius about the constant voice in his head saying he was too dangerous, too broken, and that sirius deserved better. so yeah they both cried

then they stayed up all night talking. remus admitted his biggest fear was hurting sirius. sirius admitted his biggest fear was remus waking up one day and realizing he deserved better

they made two main rules: 1. no leaving the room during fights (even if they sit on opposite sides in silence), 2. they have to say the fear out loud instead of assuming

after that fight they became much gentler with each other’s insecurities. little reassurances became normal, ones like “i still choose this” and “i still want/choose you”

hello darling!! of course i do omg thank you for this ask

remus can handle almost anything except sirius crying. the second sirius’ eyes get glassy, remus’ brain blue-screens. deep down it’s because he knows how much sirius had to hold in growing up

the first time teenage sirius cried in front of him, remus panicked so hard he nearly cried too. they ended up a tangled mess of awkward hugs and shaky “it’s okay”s

when sirius cries from pure sadness (like missing his friends or brother or feeling the weight of his past), remus gets this frantic, helpless look and immediately reaches for sirius like he can physically stop the tears. he cups sirius’ face with his big hands and kisses it all over so gently, murmuring “i’m here, it’s alright, i love you” between each salty kiss until sirius’ breathing evens out. he’ll tuck sirius’ head under his chin, rub slow circles on his back, and whisper all the loving things he sometimes gets too shy to say out loud

remus secretly thinks sirius looks beautiful when he’s crying, all raw and open. he thinks sirius is the loveliest person alive in general, but when he cries, he gets this siren type of beauty that drives remus crazy

when sirius eventually calms down, remus will make him tea or cocoa without being asked, wrap him in his biggest sweater or hoodie, and then pull him onto the couch so they can stay pressed together under a blanket

during fights, the moment sirius’ voice breaks and tears slip out, remus’ anger vanishes instantly. he physically can’t keep arguing when his lovely boy shows him so much vulnerability

btw when sirius cries happy tears, from overwhelming love or a sweet moment, remus’ heart swells so much he gets a little teary too

remus has this habit of kissing sirius’ eyelids when they’re still wet, so softly it tickles. it never fails to pull a watery little laugh out of sirius

even in public, if sirius starts tearing up (because sometimes people are assholes and his therapist said that it’s not shameful at all to let yourself feel emotions), remus will discreetly tug him close, shield him with his body, and press a secret kiss to his temple while rubbing slow circles on his back

I don't know how to explain it without it sounding like I'm talking about a degeneracy LMAO, but, you can feel the characters' emotions through reading these specific scenes, and it's something I've noticed is present in all your fics, and it's something I think you should be proud of it, because one thing is to write smut just for the sake of it, and another is to do what you do, which is to create a connection between the characters regardless of the feeling you want to convey.

The way you have you portray fixed top/bottom roles in your stories (which I personally appreciate because it's hard for me to get used to characters being switches. Maybe it's my neurodivergence idk 😔) even though you're a vers Wolfstar believer, It's really good; you make the roles not seem boring or forced on the characters. Again, you write everything in a genuine way, and that means a lot I don't even know how to explain it.

Saying it again, I'm not saying this in a morbid way, but out of admiration for your writing ability, so I'm sorry if the beginning surprised you or anything like that xd

And on the other hand, I hope this eventually reaches you in the right way and it doesn't end up somewhere wrong on some Russian profile; I'm really a grandma with Tumblr 😭

aww my love come here let me hug you 😭❤️‍🩹

this message made my day (busy corporate girl workday 🤢), thank you so much!!! it’s really sweet that you took the time to say all that

also i’m kinda glad the fixed roles work for you?? yes i’m a vers believer most of the time but i totally get wanting that clear dynamic in fics. i try to write it in a way that feels natural to their personalities instead of just slapping a label on. hearing that it doesn’t feel forced makes me really happy!!