a little excerpt from my sunrise on the reaping wolfstar au <3
read When Again Your Eyes Open, the Sun Will Rise on ao3.
ac: sophithil

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@ricochetyears
a little excerpt from my sunrise on the reaping wolfstar au <3
read When Again Your Eyes Open, the Sun Will Rise on ao3.
ac: sophithil

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remus proposing fucked up and said 'you will marry me' instead of 'will you marry me' and sirius just smiled at him and said 'yes i will' through happy tears
sirius loves giving remus forehead kisses because he learnt physical affection from effie, and she always gives them to him
he makes remus lean down so he can give them to him
do you think sirius had body image issues? growing up in a perfectionist family must have consequences so i thought sirius with body image issues going wild at gaining a single pound and remus just letting him know he is perfect in every single weight. then they kiss
yeah of course i do omg, thank you for this ask, i need to yap more about my traumatized boy and his supportive boyfriend
i think in siriusβ house, nobody outright said βdon't gain weightβ, since it was way worse. it was the little comments like you look different or that shirt fits tighter, and because of that, he memorizes numbers. not just weight, but calories on menus, clothing sizes, measurements. he hates that he knows them and that his brain catches them automatically, but he canβt really help himself
he has good days and bad days. on good days he forgets about his body entirely, on bad days he catches his reflection in a shop window and it ruins his whole afternoon because apparently he forgot to suck in his stomach and it looked βuglyβ
whenever he gains even a pound or two, he immediately assumes everyone can tell (remus literally cannot tell). sirius goes like βi gained weightβ, and remus is just there with his βokayβ. sirius is like, βthatβs it?β, and remus literally goes ??? βwas there more?β
sirius hates being touched when heβs feeling insecure, but craves it at the same time. if he's having a bad body image day, he'll pull away from hugs first, sit slightly farther away, and avoid changing clothes in front of remus. meanwhile all he wants is reassurance. remus eventually learns the contradiction: those are the days he drapes himself over sirius on the sofa without asking questions. sirius always melts after pretending not to want it
sirius has specific βsafeβ clothes. certain jackets, certain shirts. days when he feels bad about himself, those are the only things he'll wear
sirius has a habit of sucking his stomach in. heβll do it while standing in the kitchen, while trying on clothes, while leaning against counters. one day remus catches him doing it and walks over, hooks a finger through siriusβ belt loop, pulls him forward until theyβre chest-to-chest, rests his hand on his waist and starts rubbing soothing circles into his skin. after a minute sirius relaxes without even realizing it
the first time sirius gains noticeable weight is during a genuinely happy period of his life (dating remus). he sleeps enough, eats regularly, spends weekends with friends, laughs more
and the irony is brutal because physically heβs healthier than heβs ever been, yet mentally heβs spiraling over it. eventually, remus gets angry (not at sirius, obviously, but at the fact that happiness and guilt have somehow become tangled together in his head)
remus falls in love with evidence of sirius living. scars, stretch marks, tired eyes after road trips, sunburns from beach days, muscles gained from helping friends move furniture. all the little proofs that time is passing
meanwhile sirius has spent his entire life believing the goal was to remain perfect and untouched. remus loves the exact opposite, he loves the signs that sirius is growing and changing and existing
i also think gender fluidity fits here as well, especially because siriusβ whole story is already so tied to rejecting categories that were chosen for him
there are days when sirius desperately wants to be pretty. not handsome, not attractive in a masculine way, but pretty. and when people insist on calling him handsome because they think itβs the safe compliment, it makes him feel strangely invisible. remus eventually catches on and starts complimenting him with much more variety. beautiful, sweet, lovely, gorgeous, pretty. whatever actually fits sirius in that moment
remus slowly learns that sirius asking βdo i look okay?β is sometimes a completely different question. sometimes sirius means βam i still attractive to you?β but sometimes he means βdo i look like myself?β and those require completely different answers
the saddest version is sirius wondering if remus will only love certain versions of him. especially it concerns him because of fluidity. if remus fell for the handsome version, what happens when sirius wants to be beautiful? if remus loves the reckless version, what happens when sirius is all softness? a lot of his body image issues would probably feed directly into those fears
meanwhile remus is standing there completely baffled because, from his perspective, heβs never separated those things. he doesn't have a ranking of preferred siriuses. he just has sirius. but it takes years for sirius to fully believe that
i love the idea that the most healing thing remus ever says isn't βyouβre perfectβ. perfection is exactly the standard that damaged sirius in the first place. instead itβs something like, βyou keep treating your body like it's failing a test, but i don't think it's taking one, baby. iβm grateful that itβs healthy, and strong, and beautiful, and you should be grateful tooβ
i love the idea that remus kisses sirius differently when he knows heβs struggling. sirius gets insecure and immediately starts trying to hide parts of himself; crossing his arms over his stomach, hunching his shoulders, curling inward. remus responds by touching exactly those places with complete normalcy. hand on his waist while passing him in the hallway, chin resting on his shoulder, fingers spread across his ribs when theyβre lying in bed. all these tiny ways of saying i love you just as you are
do you think remus would stutter A LOT while he is confessing to sirius/asking him to be his valentine while they are teenagers??? flushed cheeks and nervous stutter remus lupin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yes omg! thank you for this ask, i actually love this idea sm
i think it happens on a random tuesday in february, maybe even not on the actual day (because remus overthinks everything and decides valentineβs itself is too performative). theyβre in the dorm room because sirius claimed he βneeded help with history notesβ (they both know itβs bullshit). remus has been practicing the words in his head for three weeks, but when sirius flops onto the bed beside him, close enough that their shoulders brush, everything collapses. his hands are shaking so badly when he blurts, βsirius, iβiβve been meaning toβfuck, sorryβwould youβ¦ maybeβ¦β
remusβ cheeks go nuclear the second the words start tumbling out. the flush starts at his neck, creeps up under his faded jumper collar, and settles high on his cheekbones like heβs been running in the cold. he canβt look sirius in the eye at first, so he stares at siriusβ socks instead, stuttering through half-sentences, βi know itβs stupid and probably notβi mean you donβt have toβ¦ itβs just that i likeβreally like the way you laugh at my shit jokes andβokay, i think iβm ruining this.β
sirius is frozen at first, grey eyes wide, but remus keeps going because the silence is worse. he rambles about tiny specific things: how sirius always saves him the window seat on the train even when heβs late, the way he dog-ears pages in remusβ borrowed books with little sarcastic notes, how his jacket smells great when they share it during rainy walks home. every third word catches, his voice cracking on the vulnerable parts. heβs so flushed and stuttery that he starts gesturing awkwardly with one hand while the other clutches his backpack strap like a lifeline. βiβiβve liked you for ages, longer thanβthan is probably healthy. and if you donβt, thatβs fine, i justβi needed you to know before i exploded or somethingβ. the exploded comes out so small and mortified that sirius finally cracks a soft smile.
remusβ ears are burning, too. he keeps pushing his hair out of his face even though itβs not in the way, a nervous tic that makes sirius want to reach out immediately. he stutters out, βwill youβ¦ be my valentine? orβ¦ you know, boyfriend. boyfriend is way better than a valentine. or, umβor you could be both. or whatever you want. iβm not picky. justβjust yoursβ.
sirius, instead of teasing (for once), gently takes one of those shaking hands and says, βdamn, moony. took you long enoughβ. remus stays pink for the next hour, hiding his face in siriusβ shoulder when the reality hits. sirius presses gentle kisses to the burning skin of his cheekbones and temple to calm him down.
later that evening they end up walking to the corner shop for cheap chocolate and crisps, remus still faintly flushed every time sirius swings their joined hands. he keeps glancing sideways like he expects sirius to change his mind, but sirius just tugs him into a quiet alley behind the shop and kisses him properly for the first time. remusβ hands are still shaky when they cup siriusβ face.
the rest of the week remus is still quietly flustered every time sirius calls him βmy valentineβ or βmy boyβ in public, ears going pink again. but sirius starts collecting those flushed moments, with kissing the heat on remusβ cheeks in the empty stairwell and tracing the edge of remusβ flushed jaw while they talk.
long after, remus admits the stutter was so bad because he practiced in the mirror for days and still couldnβt get it right. but it doesnβt really matter, because sirius still adores that version of him (and any other versions too).

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how do you think sirius and regulusβ dynamic would change if regulus was the older one
regulus would carry the full weight of the black heir title from the start, groomed to be everything their parents demanded. heβd be quieter about it than sirius ever was, more strategic, more controlled, but underneath it all heβd be exhausted and fiercely protective of his little brother
sirius, as the younger one, would grow up watching regulus shoulder everything and rebel even harder for it. if youβre already playing their game, iβm going to burn the board kind of energy
older regulus would probably also be the one constantly trying to shield sirius from walburgaβs rages and orionβs expectations. heβd cover for siriusβ pranks, take the blame for broken rules, sneak him food and healing potions after punishments, just like sirius would do as an older brother
their hogwarts years would be fascinating. regulus in slytherin, already building his perfect pureblood mask, and sirius sorted into gryffindor as the chaotic younger brother who shows up at the slytherin table just to annoy him (and secretly check if heβs okay)
regulus would be mortified but also weirdly proud. heβd send anonymous care packages to the gryffindor tower and threaten anyone who looked at sirius wrong
sirius would drag regulus into marauder antics sometimes, and regulus would pretend to hate it while secretly loving the few hours he gets to be a normal teenager with his brother
the runaway arc changes, i guess. sirius still leaves, of course, because heβs still sirius, but this time regulus is the one left behind with the crushing guilt of βi couldnβt protect himβ
he might even help sirius escape in secret, burning letters and forging alibis, then go even deeper into the death eater circle as a twisted way of βkeeping the family safeβ so walburga doesnβt hunt sirius down
thatβs all i have in my mind rn <3
How do you feel about age gap wolfstar? Any thoughts or hcs? I loveee me some age gap specifically younger sirius x older remus because he just gives those old man vibes yknow?
age gap wolfstar is yummy any day of the week, and i love it both ways- felt like giving a scenario so uhmm, gonna do that
(i know i asked if i could include teddy... but now i didn't include teddy lol. also i'm sorry for like, the super late response. hope you still enjoy my answer)
[context: yk how i've said that my remus is a history professor? well he is that here, and sirius is studying some sort of engineering program]
cw: nsfw
β remus pulls into this small local service station because he needs his car fixed. he's an expert at ancient texts, not whatever this blinking light is and that weird sound his car is making. and there's sirius, dark blue overall around his hips, with grease on his fingers and his hair in a hasty updo. remus slows his steps a little as he sees him that first time. he's 43, and he can see that this guy is not even 30, but fuck... he's stunning. sirius notices him only a second later and immediately gives him his signature grin, and remus tells himself not to be a stupid old fool.
that's the first time they meet, during sirius' part-time job. he's 26 and uncle alphie hasn't died yet and given him his inheritance, so as of now he's trying to make do with the little pay this job is giving him. he's always loved tinkering and figuring things out, and well, this suits him well. he and remus talk for longer than they have to, considering. sirius can't help but be attracted to the older man... the scars just make him hotter honestly. that night he's jerking off to the memory of remus' lopsided little smirk, the amber eyes and his large hands as he checked his old leather watch before leaving.
β the second time they meet is at the pub. remus is there with lily, who is a professor in climatology. they worked together a few years back on some research regarding the climate and it required knowledge from different areas. lily is asking about his life outside of the university and questioning him about his non existent romantic pursuits. and thatβs when he sees him again. this time he's donning a leather jacket that looks a bit worn, there's tons of silver earrings and he can see more of those tattoos since his top is, well, black lace and rather see-through. he looks drop-dead gorgeous. like sex walking.
he's there with a friend, some guy in glasses who looks like he has some desi ancestry. they're laughing and remus quickly averts his gaze before he-- he doesnβt know what. but when he looks back lily is staring at him with one of those quirked eyebrows that tell him he's done something and lily wants in on the tea. remus blushes like a school boy, even the tips of his ears go red with his embarrassment at having been caught ogling this twenty something. he tries to explain where he knows him from, and then lily's making a joke about the fact that maybe she should have set him up on blind dates with younger men who are there to live it up in the bedroom rather than women their own age. remus doesnβt think he can blush any harder after that, and thankfully sirius doesnβt notice him before remus convinces lily that they need to leave.
unbeknownst to remus sirius has kept a drunken eye on him all night, and he misses him as soon as he's gone.
β the third time is in the corridors of the university. some student has stopped remus after one of his lectures to ask him about the upcoming exam, and sirius is just rounding the corner when he hears "thank you, mr lupin!" lupin. that's...
both sirius and remus stop walking when their eyes meet. time seems to still for a moment. and then sirius puts on his cocky signature black grin and starts talking. remus finds out that he's studying civil engineerering and is in his last year, maybe most important of all is that he's 26... sirius is leaning forward into his space, deliberately angling his body in a sensual way. mary would be proud of him. fuck, a professor... a really fucking hot one. he hasn't been able to stop thinking about him since that pub night.
eventually they part ways, sirius walking backwards and giving him a lazy salute as he tells him that his car's gonna be ready in a day or two. then he disappears off to another lecture and remus is blushing again, his face all hot.
he doesnβt stop thinking about him. he canβt.
β two days later sirius texts him to come get his car late in the evening, two hours after the service station's closed. remus wonders what this means, and yet he knows... this guy spells trouble and he feels like it wouldn't be good if this relationship became public knowledge, but... he can't resist him.
afterwards remus barely remembers their conversation. it was almost like foreplay. slow words, enunciated just right, innuendos hidden in between the letters. how they had gotten closer and closer, until sirius kissed him, raw and filthy, and something in remus just snapped. he bent sirius over the hood of his own car and fucked him hard and fast, almost like a young man again. when driving home he thinks about the way sirius' back muscles rippled and the way he moaned when his cum splattered all over his newly fixed car.
β remus tries to forget him after that. he tells himself that it was a one time thing and that it's never gonna happen again. it was stupid. foolish.
only thing is, wherever he goes sirius seems to be there. and even when he isn't his mind keeps replaying that evening at the service station. he thinks about his smile, that cocky grin, his sensual way of moving. he sits with his research and finds it suddenly impossible to focus on the 18th century writing.
and sirius refuses to give up.
β months later remus caves, and they go on a coffee date. it's a bit awkward. sirius tries to get remus to talk, who is embarrassed and doesn't know if he should be doing this, and his self-confidence is shitty and he doesn't think he has anything to offer. it results in sirius oversharing since he's trying to fill the silence, but it's somewhere there that remus is pulled out of his thoughts and starts to listen. sirius tells him about grimmauld, and about the little brother he hasn't seen in forever. about his new family, and his best friend who is also like a brother to him. remus in turn talks a bit about himself and how it's been to live through some iconic moments. he tells sirius that he hasn't dated in a long time, that he's basically married to his work. sirius asks him about his research then and he can't help but ramble. he is a history nerd after all.
β they begin to spend time at remus' apartment. remus himself doesn't even know when that happened, when his private sanctuary became a thing to be shared with this man. it's here that they begin to explore each other.
β remus teaching sirius ways of pleasuring himself that he didn't even know about before, because he hasn't lived long enough and certainly wasn't in his twenties during the great hippie wave of the 70s where everything was about freedom and exploring yourself... remus being the most attentive lover and showing him what it is to make love, not just to fuck...
β sirius flicking through remus' vinyls, asking if he's been to their concerts. remus telling him about them as he sits naked on his bed with only the sheet pulled over his crotch, lazily smoking a cig.
β sirius begins to call remus moony since he likes to research long into the night, preferring his little work table by the window overlooking the street.
β remus lies to lily. says he isn't meeting anyone. he doesn't know how to tell her that he might be in love with a man who's almost twenty years younger than him. god, what is he doing?
β they hire a car or take the train to the towns nearby. remus doesn't want to be seen with sirius in the university city, and it hurts as fuck for him but sirius takes it all with stoic bravado. if this is the only way he can have him then he'll shut up about it and take what he can get. these towns become dream landscapes where they can pretend everything's good and that there is no secrecy.
β remus tells him over and over that sirius deserves more, someone that can keep up with him, someone that isn't beginning to get his gray hairs. sirius always answers that the people his own age only focuses on his sex appeal and never sees... well, him. they never see sirius. only remus does. only remus loves him.
β sirius whispering i love you into the darkness, tracing remus' scars as he sleeps. he's never been in love before but he knows that this is it.
β eventually they're accidentally spotted by lily and she confronts remus about it. she doesn't think the age gap is acceptable, is actually disappointed in him for using a young man like this, and he tries to push sirius away again. because it's everything he's been telling himself. he doesn't know that lily never understood the nature of their relationship and told him all that because of her own prejudices.
him and sirius, they have a big fight where they yell so much that the neighbors are annoyed with remus after. sirius screams with tears in his eyes that he's in love with him and that he knows that remus wants him as well, if only he could get over his stupid fears... he slams the door on the way out.
β remus tells lily that it's over and he tries to move on with his life. but he's so depressed that lily eventually realizes that this was actually love and that she fucked up. she apologizes to him but he refuses to listen. eventually she seeks sirius out and tells him that she's sorry and that they should try again, and that she's convinced if only he pushes just one more time remus will give in. sirius tells her to go fuck herself, basically, but well... he's been just as depressed and in the end he does exactly what she told him to. he seeks remus out again.
remus listens to his tirade and when he doesn't say anything sirius says "well, aren't you gonna say anything?" and remus just kisses him. tells him that he's never gonna let him go again, and that the whole world can know about them, he doesn't care. for the first time he says that he loves him, that he's in love with him.
β mhmm reunion sex... remus being called sir and sirius getting called boy... remus overstimulating him until he can't remember his own name anymore, just remus'. crying and begging for mercy but remus uses his hands and just keeps going, whispering praises, gently wringing another one out of him...
Artwork of Sirius Black (nsfw)
i cannot find the post for the life of me, but some genius out there (and if it was you, i will absolutely tag you in this if you want?) said that remus has basically developed a pavlovian response to siriusβ necklace.
um. because sirius always keeps it on when he rides him.
so now, if theyβre out somewhere and siriusβ shirt is open just enough for remus to see the necklace, his body immediately goes, oh, we know what that means. and he gets hard on instinct.
Close ups:
yes, there's a little werewolf on the necklace.
Time-lapse below the cut:
but imagine sirius riding it crazy style and remus is the one crying from overstimulation
rockstar sirius, whose bracelet gets snagged on remus's sweater, when he's passing by him or something and as he tries to remove it, he tries to make small talk with remus, who is this blushing, stuttering mess, because this literal angel like man is so close, talking to him, and he smells soo good, and sirius sees this and thinks who is this loser....i want him
years later he releases a music video, that's just real clips of them on a vacation, both of them exploring, laughing and just looking stupidly in love in general

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remus is a total wife obsessed guy. Who does he see in his dreams? sirius. What about when he wakes up? he's there curled up, asleep on his chest, snoring slightly. What does he think about when he's zoned out? sirius.
he is genuinely convinced that if, someday, sirius decides to crack open his chest to see his heart, he would see a space carved out specifically for him
remus gently intertwining his fingers with siriusβ and squeezing his hand to get siriusβ glassy eyes looking into his own while he fucks him
unexperienced wolfstar learning intimacy together and itβs all awkward as hell. sirius climbs on top of remus clumsily, and remus is already bricked up crazily when they start undressing, and when penetration hits the first time it hurts, and sirius goes jerky and hisses way more than he moans, face buried in remusβ neck, and remus freaks the fuck out, panicking because he doesnβt know how to fix it, and all that
found the most stunning colouring brush ever i swear
sometimes remus kisses sirius just to get him to shut up

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He 100% latches onto remus when he sleeps and never lets go
wolfstar fighting and sirius is so mad remus won't yell back at him ππππππππ