my cosmic love, my rarest air

a little excerpt from my sunrise on the reaping wolfstar au <3

read When Again Your Eyes Open, the Sun Will Rise on ao3.

what do you think wolfstar’s biggest miscommunication fight was about?? and what did they do to fix all this mess that just stems from all their love and fear for something so big and new???

hi my lovely ronnie hi my sweetheart!! never annoying, i missed you too 😁 come back anytime

sooo their biggest fight (early relationship, maybe 2-3 months in) was about remus pulling away because he was terrified of hurting sirius. he started getting distant, making excuses not to stay the night/sleep in the same bed, avoiding sirius when the full moon is close, etc. all that because he was convinced that eventually the wolf would slip and he’d kill the person he loved most. sirius, of course, read it as remus getting tired of him / realizing he was too much / starting to leave for good

obviously sirius blew up first. he started yelling, accusing remus of treating him like glass, of already planning his exit. “just say it if you don’t want this anymore” was his go-to phrase genuinely

i feel like remus would shut down hard in response. like jaw clenched, fists tight, barely speaking except for quiet “that’s not it” while trying not to cry or snap. he tried to leave the room twice and sirius followed both times, because that’s sirius for you

the fight lasted for hours. sirius spiraled into abandonment fears (“everyone leaves, why would you be different?”) and remus’ guilt + self-loathing made him think he was proving sirius right by being dangerous

they said stupid and mean shit to each other, like sirius snapping “you’re always expecting me to fuck up anyway” and remus replying with “maybe i am, because you act like this when i’m trying not to argue”. obviously they said all those out of pure fear

it’s the first time they went days barely speaking. sirius yelled and stormed off, remus shut down completely and holed up in the library or their bedroom

it ended with sirius showing up with a huge messy bouquet of flowers he picked himself and a shaky voice, admitting that he was fucking terrified remus would wake up one day and not want this anymore

eventually it turned to sirius crying (the ugly kind) and remus finally breaking, pulling him into his arms and kissing his wet face while sobbing his own apologies

remus finally cracked and told sirius about the constant voice in his head saying he was too dangerous, too broken, and that sirius deserved better. so yeah they both cried

then they stayed up all night talking. remus admitted his biggest fear was hurting sirius. sirius admitted his biggest fear was remus waking up one day and realizing he deserved better

they made two main rules: 1. no leaving the room during fights (even if they sit on opposite sides in silence), 2. they have to say the fear out loud instead of assuming

after that fight they became much gentler with each other’s insecurities. little reassurances became normal, ones like “i still choose this” and “i still want/choose you”

hello darling!! of course i do omg thank you for this ask

remus can handle almost anything except sirius crying. the second sirius’ eyes get glassy, remus’ brain blue-screens. deep down it’s because he knows how much sirius had to hold in growing up

the first time teenage sirius cried in front of him, remus panicked so hard he nearly cried too. they ended up a tangled mess of awkward hugs and shaky “it’s okay”s

when sirius cries from pure sadness (like missing his friends or brother or feeling the weight of his past), remus gets this frantic, helpless look and immediately reaches for sirius like he can physically stop the tears. he cups sirius’ face with his big hands and kisses it all over so gently, murmuring “i’m here, it’s alright, i love you” between each salty kiss until sirius’ breathing evens out. he’ll tuck sirius’ head under his chin, rub slow circles on his back, and whisper all the loving things he sometimes gets too shy to say out loud

remus secretly thinks sirius looks beautiful when he’s crying, all raw and open. he thinks sirius is the loveliest person alive in general, but when he cries, he gets this siren type of beauty that drives remus crazy

when sirius eventually calms down, remus will make him tea or cocoa without being asked, wrap him in his biggest sweater or hoodie, and then pull him onto the couch so they can stay pressed together under a blanket

during fights, the moment sirius’ voice breaks and tears slip out, remus’ anger vanishes instantly. he physically can’t keep arguing when his lovely boy shows him so much vulnerability

btw when sirius cries happy tears, from overwhelming love or a sweet moment, remus’ heart swells so much he gets a little teary too

remus has this habit of kissing sirius’ eyelids when they’re still wet, so softly it tickles. it never fails to pull a watery little laugh out of sirius

even in public, if sirius starts tearing up (because sometimes people are assholes and his therapist said that it’s not shameful at all to let yourself feel emotions), remus will discreetly tug him close, shield him with his body, and press a secret kiss to his temple while rubbing slow circles on his back

I don't know how to explain it without it sounding like I'm talking about a degeneracy LMAO, but, you can feel the characters' emotions through reading these specific scenes, and it's something I've noticed is present in all your fics, and it's something I think you should be proud of it, because one thing is to write smut just for the sake of it, and another is to do what you do, which is to create a connection between the characters regardless of the feeling you want to convey.

The way you have you portray fixed top/bottom roles in your stories (which I personally appreciate because it's hard for me to get used to characters being switches. Maybe it's my neurodivergence idk 😔) even though you're a vers Wolfstar believer, It's really good; you make the roles not seem boring or forced on the characters. Again, you write everything in a genuine way, and that means a lot I don't even know how to explain it.

Saying it again, I'm not saying this in a morbid way, but out of admiration for your writing ability, so I'm sorry if the beginning surprised you or anything like that xd

And on the other hand, I hope this eventually reaches you in the right way and it doesn't end up somewhere wrong on some Russian profile; I'm really a grandma with Tumblr 😭

aww my love come here let me hug you 😭❤️‍🩹

this message made my day (busy corporate girl workday 🤢), thank you so much!!! it’s really sweet that you took the time to say all that

also i’m kinda glad the fixed roles work for you?? yes i’m a vers believer most of the time but i totally get wanting that clear dynamic in fics. i try to write it in a way that feels natural to their personalities instead of just slapping a label on. hearing that it doesn’t feel forced makes me really happy!!

okay i LOVE this question. here’s what i’m thinking:

i don't think their first fight is about anything actually important. it's dishes, or remus forgetting to text, or sirius thinking remus sounded “off” over the phone, or he made plans without asking. the actual problem lasts maybe five minutes, but everything underneath it lasts three hours. they both think, this is so stupid, but neither of them knows how to stop anymore

sirius is 100% a yeller. he gets loud fast because silence was always worse growing up. to him, yelling still means someone cares enough to stay

remus, though, tries so hard to keep control. i see him as a person that gets so still when he’s angry, like he clenches his jaw and fists until his knuckles go white, keeps his shoulders tense, answers every accusation with “okay”, “right”, “i know”, which somehow only makes sirius louder

his go-to is always trying to leave the room. he’ll turn and head for the door or stairs, needing space before he says something rude

sirius absolutely follows him from room to room. remus calmly closes the bedroom door —> sirius opens it. remus goes into the kitchen —> sirius is leaning against the counter before he’s even finished turning around with this “are you even listening to me?”

the thing is, remus is listening. he’s listening so hard he’s editing every sentence before it leaves his mouth because he knows if he says the first thing that comes to mind, he’ll regret it. remus’ instinct is always to keep sirius safe no matter what, both mentally and physically

so in this scenario i feel like remus’ biggest flaw in arguments is assuming space fixes everything, and sirius’ biggest flaw is assuming space means abandonment

here’s how i see them usually ending the fights:

remus’ leaving route (i see him doing it only during the very first few fights). he storms out for a smoke or to the corner shop, and sirius stays behind spiraling hard, convinced remus left because he’s too much and totally unlovable

after that remus learns and almost never does it again. if he feels that he really, really needs to go clear his head, he’ll tell that to sirius honestly. he’d go like, “i'm going downstairs for ten minutes,” “i'm going to buy cigarettes. i'm coming home”, “i need to go outside for a while, you need anything from the supermarket? your favorite choco bars?” and other stuff that doesn’t calm sirius fully but at least ceases his panic a little

sirius’ crying route (most common): sirius’ suppressed childhood shit bubbles up and he suddenly cracks, out of frustration more than sadness. like he gets so overwhelmed that the tears just happen

and the second remus sees him cry it’s so damn over. he has no idea what to do with crying. it’s like someone unplugged his entire nervous system. one second he’s angry, the next he’s cupping sirius’ face, kissing away every tear, both of them whispering frantic “i’m sorry”s between kisses

the flashing route (works for both of them): mid-yell, sirius will just start taking off his tee or tugging his trousers down with a bitten lip. sometimes remus does it too, just silently unbuttoning his shirt while sirius is still shouting, which usually shocks sirius into stuttering and kills the fight dead

the bribe route (both of them as well): they end up in separate rooms sulking until one of them caves. sirius shows up with a messy bouquet of wildflowers he definitely picked on the way, or remus orders sirius’ favorite takeout. sometimes it’s homemade burnt toast with a dumb joke scribbled on a napkin. they meet in the middle, still a little prickly but always in love

early relationship fights are loud and messy and a little scary for both of them, but they always end with them tangled together, learning how the other needs to be loved even when they’re angry

you’re going to kill me with these asks i swear. not gonna pretend i know the technical parts of squirting or hyperspermia so it’s pure fantasy ok 😭 send help. also tw kinda heavy nsfw

the first time they discover sirius can do it, remus is balls-deep and stroking his g spot just right. sirius suddenly tenses, lets out this broken moan, and gushes all over remus’ stomach while remus is still coming buckets inside him. they both freeze and stare at each other like ??? what the fuck just happened

after that it becomes their favorite filthy game. remus’ huge loads + sirius’ ability to squirt = the wettest, messiest sex imaginable. they have to put towels down every single time or risk drowning the bed lol

sirius gets embarrassed at first (he’s a hoe hoe but still blushes when he soaks the sheets), but remus is instantly obsessed. he kisses sirius stupid and praises him like crazy

sirius loves riding remus because he can control the angle and absolutely drench remus’ lap or stomach. remus just lies there, hands on sirius’s hips, eyes blown wide, whispering “so fucking beautiful, love, look at you”

sometimes they don’t even aim for penetration. remus will edge sirius with his fingers until he cums all over his hand and then remus jerks himself off to paint sirius’ belly and thighs with load after load

sirius finds out that if remus fucks him through his orgasm, the combination makes him cum even harder and longer

remus loves tasting sirius when he cums. he’ll pull out and lick him through it, getting absolutely drenched while his own dick twitches and leaks in response

they compete sometimes (playfully). sirius tries to make remus come first so he can watch those long, heavy pulses, while remus fingers and fucks sirius until he cums so hard his thighs shake

sometimes remus pulls out right as sirius starts cumming so he can watch it happen while his own cock pulses and shoots long ropes between sirius’ legs

they have lazy afternoons where sirius is on his back, legs over remus’ shoulders, and they just take turns pulling orgasms out of each other until the bed is ruined and they’re both covered in each other

no matter how filthy and overwhelming it gets, it always ends with soft “i love you”s and gentle touches, remus tracing sirius’ spine while sirius nuzzles into his neck