Riciel ᘏᘏ

*flashback*

Emma: It's wrong to call something that hurts Prince Azel "love."

Emma: That's just violence disguised as love.

*flashback over*

(Those words Emma said one day hit the nail on the head about the true nature of love.)

(For me, love might be violence.)

*flashback*

Mother: Living God, please grant us a divine message. Show us the reality that has been promised to us.

Azel: I... don't know—

The Apostle: Everyone here is eagerly awaiting the Living God's divination.

The Apostle: God who loves his people, please have mercy on us.

Azel: ...I...

Mother: Come now, Living God.

The Apostle: Show us our path.

Azel: ...I understand.

-

Enis: Azel, we came to play!

Azel: Kamal-oniichan, Enis-oniichan...!

Enis: Whoa, what's with suddenly clinging to us like that? You're unusually affectionate today.

Azel: Am I... really a god?

Kamal: Ah, I guess the apostle said something to you again? That— geezer. Someday— I'll— I'll—

Enis: Hey, don't use such foul language in front of the child.

Enis: ...Azel, can you tell us what happened?

Azel: Everyone expects all sorts of things from me.

Azel: I want to meet those expectations, but there's so much I don't know.

Azel: Even though I don't know, I have to give them answers.

Azel: I can only give them vague answers, so I'm afraid that someday I'll give a false divine message...

Azel: A real god wouldn't have this problem.

Kamal: Sigh... You're more of an angel than a god, Azel, an angel.

Azel: Whoa, oniichan!

Enis: Kamal, it's dangerous to suddenly pick him up like that.

Kamal: You're being a nag, are you his babysitter or something?

Kamal: Azel, the people around you call you a god, but to Enis and me, you're just our cute little brother.

Kamal: To our troubled little brother, your big brother will give you this as a present.

Azel: Um... "Read This and You Too Can Become a Splendid Swindler ~Beginner Edition~"?

Enis: What kind of book did you give him?!

Kamal: Our angel is too kind, that's why he worries like this.

Kamal: Listen, most of the people who worship you as a god are greedy and only think about themselves.

Kamal: Become a swindler so they can't take advantage of you.

Azel: A swindler?

Kamal: A swindler is a bad person who deceives others and acts only for their own benefit.

Kamal: You're a kind god who only thinks about others, but a swindler doesn't care whether their divinations are right or wrong.

Kamal: Become like that. Enis and I want to protect you... Don't become a god who gets eaten by people.

Azel: Doing bad things... is wrong, but...

Azel: But I understand what you're trying to say, oniichan.

Azel: I'll read this book and study hard.

Kamal: Ah, you're a good boy.

Azel: Thank you, oniichan. I love you.

Kamal: Guh...

Enis: Hey, don't die?! Fainting from a nosebleed is a joke, right?!

-

Soldier: —There he is! It's the Living God! Secure him immediately!

Azel: I'm sorry! I was the one who said I wanted to play outside with my brothers!

Azel: I really didn't want to do any divinations today... I was tired...

Azel: So—...

Soldier: We've apprehended Prince Enis and Prince Kamal as well! Take them straight to prison!

Soldier: Those guilty of taking the god away will face appropriate judgment!

-

Enis: Aagh—!

Kamal: —Ugh...

Azel: Apostle... Please stop...

Azel: Please. I'll do whatever you say.

Azel: It's because I was a bad boy, because I didn't behave...

Azel: I'll never run away again, so please stop.

Azel: Please, please, please, please...

The Apostle: Living God... I'm sorry. It's not that I want to torment you.

The Apostle: This is also love.

The Apostle: To ensure that your noble self makes no mistakes, we must punish you severely like this.

The Apostle: All of this is for your sake. Please understand.

*flashback over*

At that time, I understood all too well.

The meaning of a god loving people, the meaning of people loving a god.

Both being loved and loving are nothing but painful acts.

I can't find any other words to describe this than a curse.

(The discomfort of being loved is still tolerable.)

(But I want to be spared from the curse that arises from my own love.)

Loving is the easiest way to make someone else unhappy.

(That's why... Emma, I don't love you.)

(I don't love you.)

-

Emma: —...Prince Azel?

I open my eyes, and a familiar scene comes into view.

The afterimage of the past vanishes, and the eyes of everyone seated at the table converge on me.

Azel: ...Is everyone here?

Kamal: Emma is here too today, huh?

Basil: May I address her as Lady Emma from now on? After all, she is the only one who has been loved by Prince Azel—

Basil: Ouch!

I throw a nearby game piece at his forehead, putting a stop to the unpleasant conversation for now.

Basil: Ah... even a scolding from Prince Azel is an honor...

Kamal: Sinan, please examine this child's head.

Sinan: Normal.

Kumush: That means there's no saving him, hahaha!

Temel: A little madness in young people helps them get ahead in life.

Kamal: Is that so?

Enis: I'm surprised though. This is my first time here, but...

Enis: I never thought most of Tanzanite's prominent figures were accomplices to a god.

(Thirteen people including Enis... no, fourteen if you include Emma.)

Present here, in addition to the royal family, are the head of the tourism association, the wealthy merchant who manages the market, the doctor with the best medical skills in the country, the owner of the famous restaurant that supports Tanzanite's economy, the competent spy who has deceived countless people, the world-renowned genius scholar, the strongest warrior...

I also gathered other promising individuals who will shape the future and gave them proof of my hope for the coming dawn.

(The god-killing plan I started alone has come this far, huh?)

(...It's been a long time.)

It all started that day when Kamal, who had been subjected to whipping, was exiled, and the light vanished from Enis's eyes—

Unable to bear the ugliness of the love the apostle spoke of, I vowed to destroy faith.

But sane words don't reach fanatics who think they can do anything for the god they love.

To escape the curse of love, there was no choice but to choose death, to kill even the idol god.

Kumush: King Enis, we weren't in important positions from the beginning.

Kumush: It was Prince Azel who guided us to them.

Temel: The development of the tourism association and the market also has Prince Azel's advice behind it.

Temel: I have nothing but respect for his foresight.

Azel: Don't mention it. I merely provided the opportunity for you to shine...

Azel: I just discovered your inherent talents and "bought" them.

Kamal: Azel, you don't realize how amazing that is.

Enis: You're still better suited to be king than I am. How about it, after being a god, why not try wearing a crown?

Azel: No, thank you. I want to enjoy my retirement.

Azel: I'll meet with you periodically and give you advice for a fee, but I won't do anything more than that.

My rejection is met with laughter in the hall.

Since when did I start to see emotions other than revenge in that scene?

*flashback*

Azel: From the next dawn, you will build the future with your own hands.

Azel: I look forward to seeing what kind of future the "human nation," free from the hands of God, will build.

*flashback over*

(Those were my true feelings.)

(...Even though I'm a god who doesn't love people.)

Izzet: Prince Azel... May I speak?

Azel: What is it, Izzet?

Izzet: Um... Shall I bring you a chair?

Kamal: Ah, hey!

Enis: Izzet... even though everyone was pretending not to notice...

(...)

(...Well, I guess it had to be said.)

There are thirteen chairs in this room—but there are fifteen people here, including myself.

Enis has taken a new seat, and his attendant, Izzet, stands beside him. The other newcomer, Emma, is sitting on my lap.

Emma: ...Prince Azel... As I thought...

Azel: Don't worry about it. I'm just doing this because I don't want to bother with bringing a chair.

Kumush: If that's the case, I'll stand!

Basil: No, I'll stand!

Temel: I'll—

Azel: That's quite alright. You are all important figures in this country, so please sit in the chairs.

(Smirking, smirking... It's not like I enjoy having her on my lap either.)

(It was just efficient. That's all.)

Emma: It would be easier if I just stood...

Azel: Ah, yes. The reason I gathered everyone here today is because there's something I wanted to tell you all.

I firmly embrace Emma's waist as she actually tries to stand, forcibly pulling her back onto my lap.

(...It's not like I want her sitting here, but there's no need to run away, is there?)

Azel: She will be involved in the establishment of the Tanzanite Book Merchants Association in the future, taking over from Akatsuki.

Azel: Emma is also a talented merchant, so I thought I'd try my hand at nurturing her.

Azel: I think there will be more opportunities for all of you to interact with her, so please make sure to remember her face.

Azel: Ah, but try not to stare. She's shy.

Emma: ...It's just that this situation is unbearable...

Emma's voice, as she covers her face with both hands, is so faint it's almost inaudible.

(How cute—)

(...No, that's wrong. Stop it. I feel like I'm becoming an idiot too.)

Kamal: ...Enis, you have many wives, don't you?

Kamal: Why don't you teach Azel how to conduct a romantic relationship?

Kamal: He was a god, you know, so he doesn't know how to treat girls.

Enis: Well... I suppose it's fine. He'll learn eventually after making some mistakes.

(How rude. What do they mean by "mistakes"?)

That's what I think inwardly, but everyone's gaze is lukewarm.

(...)

(...So this is what it means to be an ordinary person, huh?)

-

After seeing off the gathered people, the usual time descends upon the solitary desert castle.

After dinner, when it's time to sleep, I always hold Emma in my arms on the bed.

This, too, is a force majeure that started because I was tired of putting Emma back in the middle of the bed whenever she tried to sneak off to the edge. It's certainly not because I want to hold her or feel her warmth.

(Could this also be a "mistake"?)

(...It's not like I'm bothered by what they said earlier, but...)

Azel: What was the right thing to do?

Emma: Huh...?

Azel: ...Enis said it, didn't he? That it was a mistake.

Azel: What was the right thing to do in that situation?

Emma: Well... generally, you wouldn't have someone sit on your lap in public.

Azel: I told you many times, it was for efficiency.

Emma: ...Was it really just for efficiency?

Azel: There's no other reason.

Emma: Then say it while looking at me.

She cups my cheeks in her hands, forcing our eyes to meet.

I was about to complain, but the smile that bloomed before my eyes made me speechless.

Emma: Thank you.

Azel: ...What are you thanking me for?

Emma: For always loving me in a way that's easy to understand.

Azel: ...But I don't love you?

Even as I that, before I know it, I'm kissing her.

I know intellectually that this act is meant to convey love, but I can't stop myself.

Always, always—every time our eyes meet, I want to kiss her.

Even I find it baffling.

Emma: Nn... That's the least convincing "I don't love you" I've ever heard.

Azel: ...Shut up.

I seal her lips out of spite, stealing away her ability to laugh.

(No matter what you say, I don't want to admit it.)

(Even if the love I know is different from the "real love" you speak of—...)

When I look into her face, she wraps her arms around the back of my neck, looking unsatisfied.

As I entwine our tongues and caress her slender back, a muffled, frustrated voice escapes her lips.

(I don't love you...)

I press my finger against her nipple through her negligee and rub my knee between her damp thighs.

Even though I know intellectually that this is also something lovers do, my body won't stop.

(...No, this is just human physiological desire. It can't be helped, it's force majeure.)

Emma: Prince Azel...

(It's definitely not because Emma seemed to want it or anything like that...)

(It's because it's my creed to live greedily, so I have no choice...)

Emma: ...Nn... I was thinking during the meeting today...

Emma: Prince Azel... even though you say you don't love me, you're surely... more affectionate than anyone else.

Azel: Huh?

I involuntarily stop my hand and peer into her sweet face.

Azel: What did I do for you to interpret it that way?

Emma: When you were talking to everyone... you had a gentle expression.

Emma: I was secretly watching from your lap, thinking, "This must be Prince Azel's true nature"...

(...This isn't funny.)

(A god who doesn't love people is affectionate...)

Emma: Ah... Hyaa...!

I lift up her negligee and thrust my fingers in, all at once.

I delve deep inside, so that her mouth can't utter any more nonsense.

Azel: You're mistaken.

Emma: Ah, nn... That's... unfair!

Azel: I don't care.

(I just like to see people carve out their own path with their own strength.)

(I just like the moments when people laugh together and create a lively atmosphere...)

(...To call this affectionate...)

(...)

(...Will she say it?)

(No, she won't. Please don't say it.)

Emma: Loving someone isn't scary.

As if she could see right through my heart, Emma embraces me.

Emma: When I can prove that to you...

Emma: Please be more honest and love many things.

Unconsciously, my breath begins to tremble.

I kiss her hair, praying she doesn't notice my trembling.

Emma: Ah, but... I want to be Prince Azel's number one.

Emma: I want to be loved more than anyone else...

Emma also presses her lips against mine, her face bashful before my eyes.

It was a carefree bashfulness that seemed to defy the logic that love is a curse.

Azel: ...

Emma: ...

Azel: .................

Emma: ...Um...

Emma: ...Say something, please. This is awkward.

Azel: It's your own fault, isn't it?

(Love is a curse. That's why I will never love anyone.)

(...But, if by any chance, what you say is true, and real love doesn't make anyone unhappy...)

(I might not refuse to admit that I love you...)

Emma: Prince Azel—...

Azel: ...If you're going to say things like "number one," could you please stop doing that for starters?

Emma: Stop what?

Azel: Calling me "Prince"

Azel: I'm an ordinary person now, so isn't "Prince" strange?

Emma: Why so suddenly...?

Azel: There's no deep meaning.

(The first people I loved were my brothers.)

(Those brothers don't call me "Prince")

(If you're so insistent that love isn't a curse, you should start by changing how you address me.)

(Because it makes me feel clearly loved.)

Emma: Then, how about Azel-san?

(...If possible, I'd prefer just my name...)

(No, no one else calls me that, so maybe it's better this way.)

Azel: Well, that's fine.

Azel: Emma.

Emma: W-what is it?

As usual, I pin Emma down and kiss her, never tiring of it.

Precisely because I understand that this emotion, which I can't control despite knowing logically what it is, is "real love"—

I won't admit it yet.

Azel: I don't love you, so don't misunderstand.

Emma: Hehe... You're quite stubborn. Just the way I like it.

(I won't admit it... but the hateful curse you've placed on me is too strong.)

(...What are you going to do about it, damn it?)

.

.

.

FIN