cyb1rds least favorite whale

Next, I look for what the MC themselves say and think about the experience.

This tells me more about the interaction than a general CW, as all situations are different depending on the story. 

I pay close attention to the MC’s internal and spoken dialogue, and how the experience is affecting her.

Is the MC frightened? Is the MC conflicted? Is the MC interested in the LI’s sexual advances in general, but not in this particular situation? Does the MC even consider what is happening to be a sexual advance or straight up an attack on her person? etc.

I’m looking for what words (if any) she says or thinks.

Some examples:

“I wanted him to touch/kiss me,” “it felt good when,” “I liked,” or actions such as pulling the LI in rather than pushing him away, keeping the LI close to their person during the dubcon instead of defending herself and running for the hills, etc. 

How the MC is responding internally, verbally, and physically during the dubcon, that’s what I’m interested in beyond just: there’s dubcon on my screen and I feel xyz about it (which is fine, just not what I do).

Again I ask myself these questions (and others) because not all dubcon situations are the same.

For example, Alfons and Darius are two different characters with two different outlooks, experiences, and motivations behind the dubcon they perpetuate in their routes. 

Trying to view Darius through the view of Alfons’ dubcon actions wouldn’t make sense, and vice versa. What Darius does may not bother you, but you might have a problem with what Alfons does, and vice versa. 

What I’m looking for is why is this character in this specific story is doing these actions. 

Then I go back and do the same internal and spoken analysis for the LI. 

I do this because it’s important FOR ME to understand the intent of the whole picture.

Then, I read the scene again, normally. 

If you’re just starting out with reading analytically, this may seem dumb and time consuming. 

Again, you do not have to do any of this at all.

Once you learn (or continue to grow) how to analyze what you’re reading, it becomes second nature and you’ll start by do it automatically.

Also, please keep in mind that there are many other techniques, and this is not an exhaustive list for how to read analytically. Just some of the things I do, for myself, to achieve a deeper understanding.

Interacting with what you read in this manner can help you understand the intent behind what is going on in a story beyond what the words on the screen say.

Think of it as the text version of how you interact with people in real life:

There’s what someone says, what someone does, and the intent/motivation behind the connection (or disconnection) to both of those things.

Your brain processes these things and your intuition kicks in to help guide your actions, emotions, and decisions surrounding such interactions with other people.

Analytical reading does the same thing, just on paper or a screen.

Finally, for the nine millionth time, this approach is how I was trained to read from a young age and as such I’ve found it extemely helpful to me regardless of whether or not I was reading fiction or non-fiction (to exclude, of course, strictly scientific or medical research, etc.)

I share this technique in the hopes that it may help even one person who is unsure of how to interact with reading sensitive topics or someone interested in learning more about characters beyond what the words on the screen say.

There are the words in the screen, and there are the motivations, thoughts, and feelings in-between those lines that are so easy to miss (even outside of sensitive topics) when one simply takes the story for being only in the text.

As always, be kind to yourself first, and remember to extend that to others as often as you can. 

Keep first and foremost in your mind that these characters are not real, the situations are not real, and that you owe it to yourself to scrape off your plate as much crap as you can.

If playing otome helps you decompress, but something you’re reading is stressing you out— bail. 

NO you don’t need to finish that sentence, that chapter, or that route.

YES you can just press Skip from start to finish.

NO that does not mean that you’re not a “true” fan.

(I didn't get much sleep again last night...) 

Stifling a yawn, I looked at the pile of deliveries stacked before me.

(Today’s work is checking the newly arrived books, writing up paperwork, and a handful of smaller tasks…)

(Mr. Akatsuki is away on another island collecting a rare book…)

It was obvious how difficult it would be to deal with all of this on my own.

(But there’s more work waiting tomorrow, so I should try to get as much done today as possible.)

Emma: “Alright, time to get started.”

Kagari: “Princess.”

Emma: “Wah!?”

Prince Kagari’s face suddenly filled my entire field of vision, and I instinctively jerked back.

Just as I was about to fall, an arm wrapped around my back, catching me gently.

Emma: “Thank you.”

Kagari: “Clumsy first thing in the morning, aren’t you.”

Emma: “It’s because you appeared out of nowhere! Did you need something at the inn?”

Kagari: “I came to see you.”

Emma: “Me?”

........

Kagari: “I finished delivering the book.”

Emma: “Already!? But I only just asked you a little while ago…”

Kagari: “This place is practically my backyard.”

Kagari: “If I take the shortcuts, then it's child’s play.”

(By “shortcuts” he probably means the rooftops… something only Prince Kagari could ever do.)

Kagari: “Princess, Princess, hand over the next delivery.”

Emma: “There’s only one left, so I’ll take this one myself.”

Kagari: “You know what that is? That’s what we call holding back”

Emma: “Wait…! Prince Kagari, please—ahaha! Stop it!”

Kagari: “I told you before, you get punished if you try to hold back..”

Without warning, he tickled my sides. When I tried to wriggle away, his hand clamped firmly around my waist.

The mix of embarrassment and laughter had me surrendering almost immediately.

Emma: “O-okay! I get it! Please deliver the last one for me!”

Kagari: “Leave it to me.”

(Thank goodness…)

Once released, I let out a relieved sigh.

●●●●●● Flashback ●●●●●●

Kagari: “Let me help with your work, Princess. Stop holding back and just ask me for anything.”

Emma: “That’s kind of you, but this is my job. I can’t ask you to—”

Kagari: “Ask.”

Kagari: “Or you’ll regret it.”

Emma: “W-wait, Prince Kagari, you’re too close—ahh!?”

●●●●●● Flashback End ●●●●●●

(The same thing happened at the Inn, he won’t stop until I give in. It’s exhausting…)

(Prince Kagari has always been unpredictable, but he’s usually not this extreme… I think.)

(Just like that test of courage the other day, he never explains why he does these things…)

No matter how I thought about it, I couldn’t find an answer.

(But honestly… this really is more work than I could handle alone. I’m incredibly grateful.)

Though I felt guilty, my heart overflowed with gratitude.

Emma: “There are quite a few books left to deliver, so let’s load them onto the cart.”

Kagari: “No need.”

Prince Kagari easily lifted two large wooden crates, each stuffed with dozens of thick books, like they weighed nothing.

(That probably weighs as much as two adults. I knew he was strong, but… this is on another level.)

As I stared in astonishment, his green eyes met mine.

Kagari:“Impressed?”

Emma:“Yes, very.”

Kagari: “I see.”

(Is he… pleased?)

His expression barely changed, but if he had a cat’s tail, I was sure it would be swaying happily.

Kagari: “What’s next? Let me help with that too.”

Emma: “But…”

Kagari: “But?”

(No… I need to choose my words carefully…)

Emma: “Next, there’s checking the books for damage, preparing order sheets and invoices… mostly desk work.”

Kagari: “Desk work, huh… Got it.”

A faint wrinkle formed between his brows.

(He must not like sitting at the desk very much…)

Considering how he normally handles everything so effortlessly, that little reaction felt oddly cute that I couldn’t help but smile.

Even though I was “punished” again whenever I hesitated, thanks to Prince Kagari, we managed to finish the entire mountain of work.

As thanks, I invited him to dinner,

In return, Prince Kagari treated me to a mini dorayaki parfait. 

The gentle sweetness of red bean paste and fresh cream, balanced perfectly with the tart fruit.

Each bite made it impossible to stop eating.

Emma: “Prince Kagari, I really love your dorayaki the most.”

Kagari: “Do you now? That’s a gold star for your answer. Keep being my loyal customer..”

Kagari: “Watching you enjoy food so much never gets old.”

He scooped up some cream,red bean paste, and a strawberry together with skillful grace.

 Even with such a big spoonful, the way he ate was elegant and I couldn’t look away.

Kagari: “You’re quite honest at times like this.”

Emma: “What do you mean?”

Kagari: “When I said I’d treat you to a parfait, you accepted without hesitation.”

Kagari: “Quite different from when I offered to help with your work earlier.”

Emma: “Well, that’s because… having someone help with my work feels… unfair. I just feel guilty.”

Kagari: “I offered. Don’t overthink it.”

Kagari: “This parfait and my help both come from the same place.”

Kagari: “Accept kindness for what it is.”

(He’s right…)

(Both were acts of kindness and consideration.)

Showing kindness takes courage too.

I’d been so focused on not being a burden that I forgot something important.

Emma: “Thank you. I’ll try to accept your kindness more honestly from now on.”

Kagari: “Mine specifically, right?”

Emma: “...? Yes.”

Kagari: “Good. That’s your second gold star of the day.”

If he had a tail, it would be swaying again in satisfaction as he happily ate his parfait.

I followed suit, taking another bite.

(Kindness, huh…)

With each spoonful, the sweetness spread, tickling something deep inside me.

 It made my heart flutter uneasily, as if it were misunderstanding something.

Trying to shake off the warmth rising to my cheeks, I focused on my dessert.

(Still… I never did find out why he’s really helping me.)

●●●●●● Flashback ●●●●●●

Kagari: “I told you before, you get punished if you try to hold back..”

●●●●●● Flashback End ●●●●●●

(So… his goal wasn’t helping with the work itself, but making sure I wouldn’t hold back…?)

When I glanced outside, the sky had already turned a deep blue.

(Time always flies when I’m with Prince Kagari…)

(I should head back soon. The inn isn’t that far from here, but…)

●●●●●● Flashback ●●●●●●

(My hands… they’re shaking… I have to stop this.)

●●●●●● Flashback End ●●●●●●

A memory flashed across my mind, making me tremble.

Emma:“Mmph!?”

Before I could react, Prince Kagari pushed a small dorayaki into my mouth.

Kagari: “Good?”

Emma: “Mhm… delishish…”

Kagari: “Of course it is. I made it.”

He averted his gaze thoughtfully for a moment, then looked back at me.

Kagari: “Wouldn’t you like some good tea to go with it? You would, wouldn’t you.”

Emma: “Uh… I would, yes.”

Kagari: “Then come to the castle. Stay the night.”

Emma: “Oh, I couldn’t possibly—”

Kagari: “Princess… are you breaking your word already?”

Kagari: “I told you to accept my kindness.”

(Could it be that Prince Kagari…?)