as an autistic little pedant the "i dont know, CAN you?" has always pissed me off, cause its not like "can i go to the bathroom" is grammatically incorrect (is it possible for me to go to the bathroom, or is there an extenuating circumstance that you, the teacher, have decided is a reason that you will not permit me to go), its just that it isnt asking permission the way "may i" would be. and again as an autistic little pedant, i was aware that permission to Use The Bathroom would always be given unless there was something specific they needed me to stay in the classroom for, so "can i" was a perfectly reasonable ask. and the idea that two functionally identical 3-letter words could have enough of a difference in respect/politeness to be a problem was not something that occurred to me
anyway this has been another installment of "how did it take them until my 20s to diagnose me"
