Alley

Angel: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.

The Redacted Listener characters calling the other Listeners by their Pet Names (as seen in hc posts, incorrect quotes and fanfics) implies the existence of not only many smaller polycules but also a Mega Polycule. in this essay will-

i love when a cat meows at you and you're like "yeah tell me about it" and they're like "meaarow" and you're like "that's crazy man" and they go "rrraow" and you both continue in that manner for quite some time or until the cat decides to bite you

ppl really do love to be like “but a pet reptile/amphibian CANT LOVE YOU” like ok… i dont care…i dont need it to love me i just need it to be a swag beast

queue this post when it’s your birthday and be surprise

we cant keep having more weeks

I wish people understood I’m not changing topic on purpose. A New Thought™ pops up and must be discussed immediately. The Old Thought™ has ceased to exist.

The autistic/ADHD/ND instinct to talk about The Thought™️ right away before it flutters away on the breeze, never to be seen or heard from again.

The Old Thought might still be there and I’ll jump back to it with just as little warning once we’re done with the New Thought if it doesn’t lead anywhere else interesting, and then get confused if you don’t follow because as far as im concerned we were already talking about this… conversations are hard and sometimes I feel like I should just take notes

the idea of consuming two conflicting things that promise to do the opposite of each other has always been hilarious to me. there’s a liquid shot-based sleep aid called 6 hour sleep and as soon as I saw it i immediately imagined mixing it and a 5 hour energy together for a 1 hour nap

mix NyQuil and DayQuil to create Quil

what does Quil do

All the time all the time

short guys saying they can’t get a date is always so funny to me. im 5’6” and people want to throw me around like a chew toy I don’t know what you’re doing wrong

women will dm me and tell me how much they want to swing me at a wall (flirtatiously) and men buy me cars and houses due to my beauty and it’s all because I’m the human equivalent of a purse dogy

i think tumblr is the only website where the users have to employ the scientific method to figure out how it works

yes honey your ecstasies are holy and your visions are divinely inspired can we fuck now