Figure Skating Talk, Greatest (S)Hits 2017-2018, half-season report:
Evgenia Medvedeva: is consistent
Fans: she’s singlehandedly destroying this sport, burn her at the stake
Fans: she’s propped up by Russian money, she can fall all she likes, corruption, sorcery, burn her at the stake
Evgenia Medvedeva: pre-rotates
Fans: she cheats, she ugly, burn her at the stake
Satoko Miyahara: pre-rotates
Fans: shame! shame! shame!
Commies: so much pre-rotation, she’s literally forward on that takeoff *smh*
Fans: wonky camera angle, not visible in real time, everybody does it
Commies: as good as it gets, amazing, textbook, 12/10 would recommend
Wakaba Higuchi: skates sublimely
Alina Zagitova: under-rotates
Marin Honda: under-rotates
Judges: we see everything
Judges: we imagine something
Yuzuru Hanyu: break records
Fans: he’s winning all the time, boring, he should retire, think of the children
Yuzuru Hanyu: doesn’t break records
Reporters: he’s losing his touch, no longer fit, can’t skate clean to save his life
Yuzuru Hanyu: doesn’t do the 4Lz
Fans: Lutz is his worst jump lolololol
Yuzuru Hanyu: does the 4Lz
Media: too risky, he’s not seeing the bigger picture, he’s ruining everything
Shoma Uno and Nathan Chen: add a new quad
Media: amazing, leading the sport, exploring uncharted territory
Yuzuru Hanyu: adds a new quad
Media: selfish, only thinking of himself, he’s ruining everything
‘Murica press: let’s make doubly sure we misspell his name
Yuzuru Hanyu’s fans: support him by showing up at events
Everybody else: disrespectful, ignorant, they’re ruining everything
Yuzuru Hanyu’s fans: support him by analyzing things he does
Everybody else: highhanded, too much free time, they’re ruining everything
Eteri Girls: do tons of difficult turns steps moves in between elements
Fans: omfg they’re gaming the system, unsightly, repulsive
Guys in the Top 6: do 40-50 crossovers in a program
Experts: crossovers are transitions
Ladies: skate short programs
Commies: solo jump must have steps before it, it’s great, let’s talk, make steps great again
Men: skate short programs
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2087
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